1) Hi! I have a question about orgasms. I'm a female who has masturbated since her early teens and wonder if I've "overdone" it somewhat. I did it so frequently (sometimes every other day or so; sometimes I waited longer) that now that I'm in my early 20s, I find it harder to reach orgasm, and harder to have multiple orgasms (it used to come so easily to me). Have I "lost" that momentum? Can I regain it if, say, I stopped masturbating for several weeks or months?

Also, my partner stimulates me manually or with his tongue, and I haven't been able to "come" yet... is it because I've masturbated too much? Do women take longer to come? I think he gets bored doing it...

2) My boyfriend has trouble ejaculating, usually taking a long time. I was wondering if it could have to do with his constant masturbation during most of his young life. Could it be that the problem is me? Is there a possibility that we can improve the situation?

I know this sounds gross, but sometimes when I get turned on, I like to rub my "vaginal area" on a stuffed dog. After it, I feel good, but a few minutes later, some discharge comes out on my underwear. What's going on, and is this safe?

I enjoy performing cunnilingus on my girlfriend, and every so often, I get a sore throat. My question is, is it all right to perform cunnilingus on my girlfriend if I have a sore throat? Or is there a chance that whatever causing my throat discomfort could cause her trouble as well? Can the “giver” of oral sex pass along sore throat germs to the “receiver”?

My girlfriend and I have oral sex. I heard that if you blow in the vagina of a female that it could kill her. Is that true?

If one masturbates but does not get involved in any other sexual activities, is that person considered to be sexually active?

I have a latex sensitivity, but would like to perform safer oral sex. Are lubricants on non-latex condoms harmful if ingested? I can't seem to find non-latex, non-lubricated condoms anywhere.

I would wish to know about the health implications of men using vibrators. I seem to have developed a fungus/mold. I would like to know more before a health check, approaching in complete ignorance. Thank you.

If you were a woman, who wanted to be a man, could you get a penis? And once you got your penis, could you masturbate, ejaculate, and experience other male sexual behaviors?

And vice versa. If you were a man, who wanted to be a woman, could you then get your penis removed, and then masturbate?

I was wondering about the depth of the vagina. I've read statistics that say that the average vagina is only 3 to 4 inches deep. This seems way too small to me, since the average penis is considerably longer than that. Wouldn't that mean that most penises would crash into the cervix repeatedly during intercourse? Since this obviously doesn't happen, my question is this: does the vagina actually elongate during intercourse to accommodate the entire length of the average penis?

Dear Alice, 

I take Valtrex daily to protect me from cold sores I get on my face. I haven’t had one since I started taking it a few years ago. My partner gets cold sores on his mouth and has recently performed oral sex on me while having a cold sore. Will the daily Valtrex protect me from developing genital herpes? How will this affect me in the future?

What are the risks of HIV infection for the passive partner of oral sex?

If one has a long-term partner and neither AIDS nor any other STD is a concern, is there any medical reason not to perform cunnilingus on a menstruating woman? My significant other is particularly horny during her period and would love cunnilingus at this time. I am willing but curious.

I am curious about double penetration (two penises in one vagina). Because of the increased friction, even if both men are wearing condoms, is there more of a risk that the condoms would break?

I currently use NuvaRing for contraception. Because the ring slowly emits hormones into the body via the vagina, my partner and I are wondering whether he will have an unhealthy amount of contact with these hormones during oral sex. Thanks.

I am a well-adjusted late twenties male with a steady girlfriend. Lately, I have been increasingly fantasizing about various types of anal penetration. I have discovered that during masturbation, this brings me very intense pain/pleasure. Even though I think it may be satisfying to experiment with a vibrator or other objects inserted by my girlfriend, I find myself drawn toward trying the real thing (i.e., having anal sex with a penis). The problem is, I definitely do not consider myself homosexual and, in fact, the thought of the actual act with another man actually repulses me. Am I trying to have the real thing without going through a bisexual experiment or what?

1) Having read a few posts related to the question, "Is masturbation harmful?", most of the answers I've seen seem to suggest that the only possible harm could be psychological, in the sense that masturbation may be a distraction from one's normal routine.

What about the actual PHYSICAL side effects? Some things can not be dismissed as mere "wives' tales"! For example, when I masturbate often, I do notice a darkening under my eyes. I am only 28, but having been at this a while, it does seem as though I can not as easily become erect, or stay erect for as long as I used to. I may not have grown hair on my palms, but I have noticed (and I'm willing to concede that there may be no causal relationship here) that I have become somewhat hairier, in all the wrong places.

Please set the record straight as to what, if any, harmful PHYSICAL side effects may result from masturbation, and why, in the face of my testimonial and no doubt countless others, such symptoms as I have described are dismissed by yourself and your peers as "myths."

2) Does masturbation affect your growth if you are not yet fully grown?

I'm wondering if washing immediately and throughly after intercourse helps prevent pregnancy.

I have encountered a problem I never expected; my boyfriend is quite simply very large. I am unable to perform oral sex except for the first couple of inches due to the girth, and vaginal sex is not totally satisfying for him because he is too long and cannot fully penetrate without causing me significant pain. I've seen my doctor, and am reassured that there is physically nothing wrong with me — no infections or scarring, but am finding it difficult to come up with a solution. Any suggestions?

Some of the girls at my school talk about how their boyfriends got to first, second, or third base with them. I feel kind of left out because I don't know exactly what they are. Could you tell me what the bases are for girls and guys? I'd really appreciate it.

I am just curious about sex, and why is it such a turn on?? Is it the physical contact or sexual actions?? Or is it endorphins spreading through the body while it is happening??

If my partner and I have been monogamous for three years (and I was a virgin before we met) and my partner tested negative for the HIV virus (twice, about two years ago, with a six-month gap between the tests) is it safe for us to use a birth control method other than a condom? That is, are there still any STDs that my partner might have without knowing it, that we should be worried about, even though nothing whatsoever has seemed wrong with either of us for three years and my partner has had several regular annual physicals in that time?

I'm 18 years old and have never had sex. But three years ago, I started masturbating. And this past week I have been having swelling in my vagina. You can't get any STD on your own, can you? I'm scared to go to the doctor because I don't want my Mom to know I have been doing this. Please respond.

Is it possible to get sick from oral sex, when your partner doesn't have any STD's? I've only ever had one partner, and recently I performed oral sex on him. Only ever since I have had a sore throat, and swollen glands. Is this related, or did I just pick up cold germs he was carrying?

What does one do when they are desensitized to their vibrator and need to check a consumer report before investing in a new one?

After you have sex, how long should you wait till you do it again?

If a man is performing anal sex, can he actually feel his partner's waste products? Please answer because I read somewhere that the proper thing to do is perform an enema first and I can't believe this is true.

1) I'm not an inexperienced girl at masturbation. I've been doing it for a very long time, but actually only ever discovered what an orgasm was when I was 18 and got my first vibrator. This never bothered me because I wasn't sexually active then, but now it does. I realized I have NEVER been able to orgasm from physical touching or from just using fingers. I've always needed a vibrator of sorts and this is worrying me for future relationships and stuff with partners. How can I learn to orgasm from touch instead of vibration? I've tried before and have always just gotten frustrated or fallen asleep.

2) I've sorta been curious lately about what it feels like to do the big M using my fingers. I'm uncomfortable doing it though. I can't even use a tampon let alone do THAT with my fingers and I don't have anything that vibrates. What other options do I have?

Do you think it is ok for boys to masturbate in really tight womens clothing such as bathing suits and bodysuits, tight overalls etc. If not, where can I get some help. Please help me.

What's the deal with Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome? Is it real or some sort of hoax?

I have searched your files for the answer to a question that has long been bugging me. It has to do with masturbation. I can see by the questions there are many men who masturbate, but I don't see many from women. Do many women masturbate? Are they just more shy about talking about it? Can you give any specifics on the percentage of women, versus the percentage of men, who masturbate?

Your masturbation section is overflowing with male inquiries, so I thought I'd throw my question in to add some variety. What are ways to optimize female masturbation? I often read dirty books to get things going, but I don't always reach my intended destination. I have trouble reaching orgasm while flying solo, and I'd really like to learn more about the female erogenous zones and how to optimize my masturbation experience. Basically, how can I best bring myself to pleasure through self-stimulation?

Are there toys that guys can use for masturbation and how do they work?

When my girlfriend and I have sex, we almost always (nine times out of ten) orgasm within a few seconds of each other. Honest! This has been happening daily, with the exception of her periods, for about six months. We are both quite satisfied with each other as sexual partners. Are we an unusual couple? Thank you for your time.

I see that in several messages and answers, that reference is made to oral sex accompanied by the use of ice cubes. I'm pretty ignorant about this and would be very grateful to you if you would tell me more about this. My boyfriend and I have a very good sex life and we enjoy making love, but we're also on the look-out for new things to try. I've asked my friends about this and some of them thought it was a joke! Thanks for the help.

My boyfriend has had pain during urination and ejaculation. We have been only with each other for the past year and neither of us have STIs. The info I have found on the internet makes me believe maybe he has urethritis. My question is, can you cause damage to the urethra during oral sex? I don't want to get too personal, so I will leave it alone, but I want to know, can you cause damage due to any force to the urethral opening?