What does it mean if I enjoy masturbating in women's clothing?

Dear Reader,

Masturbation is all about exploring your own sexuality, and doing so in a safe and comfortable environment is perfectly natural. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, masturbating in different settings, ways, and clothes can be a safe and productive way to discover what you enjoy sexually.  

If you’re comfortable masturbating in tight women’s clothing, it can be a good way to further explore your sexuality as well as discover what you enjoy when it comes to sexual stimulation. Touching yourself is a good way to get in touch with yourself without much risk of contracting an STI, and can inform your pleasures, displeasures, and boundaries for any future sexual experiences. As you think about this behavior, it might be helpful to ask some more specific questions, including:

• What is it about these clothes that turns you on? 
• Does the tightness of the clothing satisfy you, or is it more about their gendered nature? 
• Is this a recent development, or something that you’ve felt for a long time? 
• Do you feel like you are dressing up for show, for fun, or to explore your gender identity? 

However, if your sexual urges are causing you distress, it might be good to speak with a mental health provider.  

Reader, you’re far from alone. In fact, deriving sexual pleasure from wearing clothes associated with a gender that you don’t identify with is relatively common. This practice has been described by many terms, but is generally considered to be a type of fetish: a sexual attraction to an inanimate object that isn’t otherwise considered to be sexual. This specific fetish is sometimes called cross-dressing, and is one of the most common among heterosexual men.  

A fetish itself is not necessarily a problem, and can be incorporated into a fulfilling sex life to the extent that you and any possible partner(s) are comfortable. There are some cases, however, in which a fetish may start to cause distress that can interfere with other aspects of your life.  

If you find that you’re unable to function sexually without the presence of this tight clothing, it may be difficult to maintain a fulfilling sexual and romantic life. You may find it helpful to seek out support if you feel sensations of shame or guilt about these urges. Support can also be beneficial if you feel that these thoughts are beginning to affect you in other ways, such as impeding your social life or leading to symptoms of depression or anxiety, Many mental health professionals are working to incorporate more acceptance of formerly taboo topics such as kinks and fetishes into their work, and they can largely be found through online searches. When comparing possible resources, you might want to pay attention to key terms such as ‘sex-positive’ or words like ‘kink-aware’, ‘kink-affirming’, and ‘kink-allied’.  

If you do speak with a mental health provider, you might find that you identify with the term ‘transvestism’. This refers not to the sexual activity itself, but to the distress it can cause and the impact that it can have on your life. Mental health support has been successful in helping others who struggle to accept some of the ins and outs (pun intended) of their own sexuality, and is a good resource to be aware of.  

But remember, what you do in private is your business. If your sexuality doesn’t cause you distress or impede your social or sexual life, you likely don’t have anything to worry about. If you find that this sexual pleasure may be tied to more thoughts about your gender expression or gender identity, you may also choose to explore that further—either by yourself or with the support of a mental health provider.  

As long as you feel safe and comfortable, keep playing with clothing—and yourself!