How do I choose a new vibrator?

Dear Rocking and rolling, 

Although anyone can use a vibrator, research on desensitization most often focuses on vulvar sensation. In fact, for people with penises, vibrators have been shown to improve some sexual disorders including erectile dysfunction. That said, while it’s possible for those with a vulva to become temporarily less responsive to sexual stimulation from using a vibrator, vibrators usually aren’t the culprit of long-term desensitization. If you feel that your vibrator is no longer your vibe, it may be a sign for you to explore alternative forms of masturbation. These can include using your hands, employing the use of a vibrator with different features, or using new types of sex toys all together. If trying new techniques is still not quite getting you there, it may be worth discussing the possibility of sexual dysfunction further with a health care professional. 

Can using a vibrator desensitize you? 

Long-term genital desensitization isn’t typically associated with vibrator use. If you feel that your vibrator isn’t giving you the same pleasure that it used to, you may be experiencing a temporary reduced response to the vibration. This happens when your genital nerves adapt to the vibration sensation, causing your sexual response to other forms of stimulation—or to lower vibration frequencies—to be reduced. That said, genital nerve beds are continuously restructuring themselves, making the return to full sensation a short journey. It’s for this same reason that long-term desensitization from sex toy vibration isn’t often experienced. Your nerves regenerate too quickly to permanently lose sensation.  

Why else might you be feeling desensitized to sexual stimulation? 

There’s a possibility that the sexual desensitization you may be experiencing is a form of sexual dysfunction unrelated to the use of your vibrator. Medical professionals call this female sexual dysfunction. It describes recurring and continuous difficulties with sexual response, including problems with orgasm, desire, or pain that causes you distress or creates relationship tension.  

What can you do if your vibrator just isn’t getting the job done? 

If you find yourself feeling dissatisfied with your vibrator’s performance, it may be time to try a different sex toy or form of masturbation. You could also explore using your hands for stimulation or trying out a penetrative toy—whether or not it also vibrates is up to you. This may give your nerves the time to return to their typical sensitivity before using your regular vibrator again. You may also come out of your sexual explorations with a deeper understanding of your body and more options for pleasure.  

If you find yourself having trouble reaching orgasm or feeling aroused, even after trying different stimulation techniques, you may choose to speak with a health care professional for more guidance. Physical therapy practices or certain medication may be suggested as potential courses of action. 

What are some things to consider if you decide to try a new vibrator? 

If exploring new toys is the route you decide to take, there are some things to keep in mind. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes, and the features don’t stop there. Some other features include: 

• Length: Size may range from 2 to 15 inches long. Smaller sizes are typically meant for external use while larger vibrators may be used both internally and externally.  
• Hands free: Some vibrators may have a harness that allows you to strap the product to your vulva or may have a suction to attach to another surface. 
• Shape: C-shaped vibrators allow the user to stimulate the genitals through penetration and external vibration. Others may be curved for penetrative use or be smaller and straighter for external use.  
• Material: The sex toys can be made from various materials, ranging from silicone to glass.  
• Vibration settings: Vibrators may include different vibration settings that give you the ability to control the vibrational frequency or pattern of vibration.  
• Waterproof: Some vibrators may have a waterproof feature, allowing it to be used in various locations. 

List adapted from Sexual and Relationship Therapy 

Would consumer reports be useful in your search for a new vibrator? 

If you’re in the market for a new toy, thinking about which features appeal and what factors are most important to you may help you narrow down your options. Before purchasing a vibrator, whether online or in-person, perusing product reviews can be helpful. These reviews may give you more insight into things like how accessible, loud, or portable the product is. Many different online publications have sex toy recommendation rankings that could provide you with brand names to search for. If you have more questions about specific features you’re hoping to have in a toy, consider speaking to an employee at a store that sells sex toys for more personalized recommendations. 

Wishing you luck if you decide to gear up and get a new gadget,