How long should I wait until having another round of sex?

Dear Reader, 

The short answer to your question is that you should wait as long as you want or need to before having another round of sex! In many sports, timeouts are counted down to the second. But things are less strict in the bedroom than they are in the big leagues. When it comes to sex, there are no rules for how long (or short) your breaks should last. Rather, it depends on a variety of different factors—some physical, some mental—that are different for everybody.  

What biological factors affect how long you have to wait before having sex again? 

If, during sex, you had an orgasm, there may be a bit of time where it’s difficult (or downright impossible) for you to become aroused again. This is called a refractory period, and it allows for both physical and psychological recovery to occur. Some believe that people assigned female at birth (AFAB) don’t have refractory periods because they’re able to achieve multiple orgasms in a shorter timeframe than those assigned male at birth (AMAB). However, this is incorrect. The truth is that no matter what hormones are pumping through your system, everyone has a refractory period. However, the length of that period may be shorter for those AFAB.   

When you have sex (and especially if you orgasm), your body is pretty overwhelmed. In addition to the physical workout, there are a ton of hormones being released inside your body to assist with arousal and pleasure. It’s kind of like your body’s doing the work of a whole football team, plus the coach trying to keep track of the plays. It's no wonder it might need a minute to sort itself out after! 

Aside from the refractory period and your hormones at play, you may also just need to catch your breath, use the restroom, or take a break before you’re able to get back in the game. 

How can your mental state influence how soon you’re ready for another round? 

Although sex may seem entirely physical, your body isn’t the only thing involved in your sex drive—your brain also gets a say! Both your mood and mental state can influence how quickly you’re ready for another round. For example, if you’re stressed or anxious, it might be harder to perform a second time.  

Some studies suggest there may be some connection between emotional connection to a partner or your perceived access to sex and the refractory period. Couples who have been together for longer tend to have sex less frequently and might need more time in between. Because these people have a regular partner, they may also feel less pressure or desire for another round so quickly or at all. Research also suggests that for people AMAB who have new or casual sexual partners, they’re more likely to have more orgasms and can recover more quickly than those in long-term committed relationships.  

Does age or health status impact your ability to become aroused again? 

While everyone naturally has a different libido, or sex drive, age and health status may affect how soon someone can go for the next round. In general, older age is associated with a lower libido. Someone with a lower libido might be less likely to desire another round or to become aroused again so soon after orgasming. In addition to age, physical health can also impact your libido.  

Health conditions (such as heart conditions or mobility issues) can affect the type or amount of sex that you’re able to have. When physical activity becomes more strenuous, you might need more time to rest before hitting the court after halftime.  

As long as you and your partner are warmed up (and both consenting), feel free to get back in the ring whenever it suits you!