Cite this Response
Alice! Health Promotion. "Is it normal for straight men to masturbate together? ." Go Ask Alice!, Columbia University, 21 May. 2025, https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/it-normal-straight-men-masturbate-together. Accessed 23, May. 2025.
Alice! Health Promotion. (2025, May 21). Is it normal for straight men to masturbate together? . Go Ask Alice!, https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/it-normal-straight-men-masturbate-together.
Dear Alice,
I'm a 21 year old male virgin. I have a male friend the same age. Every now and then we watch an X-rated movie together and masturbate at the same time and in the same room. We have done this for a number of years. We are both straight. Is this a normal act for men or not?
Thanks,
Masturbating friends
Dear Alice,
I'm male and eighteen. I have known my best friend for over two years now. He is the same age, and we are roommates in college. We are straight and love women. But every now and then we will sit beside each other and masturbate each other before we go to bed. Is this normal? Or is there something wrong? Should we be doing this at all?
sincerely, straight
Dear Masturbating Friends and Straight,
Don’t worry—it's totally okay to get down and dirty with the homies if you want. In fact, some small-scale research suggests that people masturbating together is somewhat common. It can be a healthy way to explore your sexuality and to bond with male friends. There’s no real risk to your health or safety, and it doesn’t change your sexual identity. As long as everything’s consensual, you’re good to go!
Does sexual behavior define sexual identity?
The short answer is no, what you do in the bedroom doesn’t determine your sexual identity. In fact, sexual identity is made up of lots of different things, including who you’re attracted to and how you identify. Many guys who have girlfriends or wives have masturbated with male friends in the past, and it doesn’t affect their current heterosexual relationships or their own identity.
Is it normal for straight men to masturbate together?
While ‘normal’ is a subjective term, you’re definitely not alone. It seems that masturbating in pairs or in groups is relatively common among straight male friends—in fact, even the Beatles tried it out! Some may just masturbate at the same time as a buddy or roommate, and others might touch each other (like a hand job, essentially). There are even clubs where likeminded guys can get together and get off together! Many of these men say that it can be a bonding experience with close friends and can allow them to explore sexuality and masculinity in a safe and contained environment.
Is there a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to masturbate with straight friends?
As long as everyone involved is consenting, there’s no harm in ‘bating with a buddy or rubbing one out with your roommate. Just make sure you talk about boundaries before you guys go at it. For example, are you going to be watching porn? Are you going to talk, or do you prefer it to be quiet? Are you going to be touching each other, or only yourselves? If you’re planning on tugging each other’s tools, you might want to wash your hands first. If you start to feel uncomfortable at any point, don't be afraid to speak up and express that you’d like to stop. Otherwise, feel free to get handsy and have fun!
Bye-bye, beat-off buds!