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Can frequent masturbation affect sexual function?

1) Hi! I have a question about orgasms. I'm a female who has masturbated since her early teens and wonder if I've "overdone" it somewhat. I did it so frequently (sometimes every other day or so; sometimes I waited longer) that now that I'm in my early 20s, I find it harder to reach orgasm, and harder to have multiple orgasms (it used to come so easily to me). Have I "lost" that momentum? Can I regain it if, say, I stopped masturbating for several weeks or months?

Also, my partner stimulates me manually or with his tongue, and I haven't been able to "come" yet... is it because I've masturbated too much? Do women take longer to come? I think he gets bored doing it...

2) My boyfriend has trouble ejaculating, usually taking a long time. I was wondering if it could have to do with his constant masturbation during most of his young life. Could it be that the problem is me? Is there a possibility that we can improve the situation?


If someone's sexually adventurous, does that mean they're more likely to cheat?

If my wife is sexually adventurous, does it mean she's more likely to cheat? My wife is slowly opening up to me about how sexually adventurous she wants to be (I'm talking bondage-type stuff), and I'm afraid that maybe she might cheat in the future if her "appetite" isn't met. I haven't voiced any of these concerns, I've been completely supportive of it and actually would be completely ok with doing all of it. I just worry that maybe the adventure-ness might be a sign of promiscuity?


Is anal sex okay if I'm in remission from Crohn’s?

I have had Crohn's disease for 16 years and am in remission right now. Recently my boyfriend and I have been toying with the idea of anal sex, but I'm concerned about it given my health issues. I have a lot of thickening of the terminal ileum walls and worry that the "trauma" of anal sex could set off a flare up and be painful because of the narrowing. Any thoughts? I'm way too embarrassed to discuss this with my male doctor. Thanks!


Why can't I stay erect?

1) It seems that I can't maintain an erection for more than a couple of minutes during intercourse. In fact, sometimes it doesn't seem to want to get up and play at all. The girlfriend is really starting to take this personally, but I know it's not her fault. Help! Are there any vitamins, diets, etc. that may help?

2) To put it very simply, I am having trouble having erections for a while now. I used to be able to. I can't have them at all, during intimate encounters or during masturbation. I get a little "hard" but cannot get completely hard. Could you please help me? Thank you!!


Is it normal for straight men to masturbate together?

1) I'm a 21 year old male virgin. I have a male friend the same age. Every now and then we watch an X-rated movie together and masturbate at the same time and in the same room. We have done this for a number of years. We are both straight. Is this a normal act for men or not?

2) I'm male and eighteen. I have known my best friend for over two years now. He is the same age, and we are roommates in college. We are straight and love women. But every now and then we will sit beside each other and masturbate each other before we go to bed. Is this normal? Or is there something wrong? Should we be doing this at all?


How do I feel more comfortable with a new sex partner?

First, I'd like to thank you for this service! It's been so informative to read the advice you've given others. I'm a female grad student and have just gotten into a relationship for the first time. I have a few questions regarding oral sex: my boyfriend loves to suck my nipples and I feel great when he's doing it, but after a while, my nipples start to feel tender and actually hurt sometimes... is this normal? He's not rough when he's doing it, so I'm not sure why this happens.

Also, when my boyfriend "goes down" on me, I worry about what he thinks of my smell and taste. He says he likes it, but I can't be sure... is there some way of finding out if my scent is normal? Can he pass any infections (to my vagina) from his saliva? (He has had only 1 one-night stand affair and he used a condom that time).

Also, I masturbate him (I stroke his penis) until he "comes," but I'm afraid of tasting his "come." He hasn't asked me to, but I think he would like it if I did... how can I overcome this inhibition? Are there any risks for me? I appreciate any help/advice... Thanks a lot!


What are the side effects of masturbation?

1) Having read a few posts related to the question, "Is masturbation harmful?", most of the answers I've seen seem to suggest that the only possible harm could be psychological, in the sense that masturbation may be a distraction from one's normal routine.

What about the actual PHYSICAL side effects? Some things can not be dismissed as mere "wives' tales"! For example, when I masturbate often, I do notice a darkening under my eyes. I am only 28, but having been at this a while, it does seem as though I can not as easily become erect, or stay erect for as long as I used to. I may not have grown hair on my palms, but I have noticed (and I'm willing to concede that there may be no causal relationship here) that I have become somewhat hairier, in all the wrong places.

Please set the record straight as to what, if any, harmful PHYSICAL side effects may result from masturbation, and why, in the face of my testimonial and no doubt countless others, such symptoms as I have described are dismissed by yourself and your peers as "myths."

2) Does masturbation affect your growth if you are not yet fully grown?


How can I have more pleasurable sex when my partner's penis is too large?

I have encountered a problem I never expected; my boyfriend is quite simply very large. I am unable to perform oral sex except for the first couple of inches due to the girth, and vaginal sex is not totally satisfying for him because he is too long and cannot fully penetrate without causing me significant pain. I've seen my doctor, and am reassured that there is physically nothing wrong with me — no infections or scarring, but am finding it difficult to come up with a solution. Any suggestions?


Is there a connection between soy products and male impotence?

I once read an article stating the soy products (espcially soy milk) can lead to impotence within males if taken to a high degree. I go through random bouts in my life where I cut out cow milk completely and drink just soy milk for long periods of time (not because I'm lactose intolerant but for argued health benefits). I'm just wondering whether drinking strictly soy milk every day (at least 3 10-oz. glasses for me) is overkill.


What's the difference between fluid during arousal and discharge?

This might sound like a gross question, but I do need an answer! When my partner performs oral sex on me, I'm not sure if my vagina is moist because I'm wet or because I have vaginal discharge... which is what? Isn't it normal for a woman's vagina to be somewhat moist, and to have a little discharge? When a woman gets wet, how can she tell? And know the difference between that and discharge?

Also, my partner and I haven't tried intercourse yet (I am a virgin)... I've read your previous answer to a man who said his penis might be too big for his partner; I am worried that I'm too small/tight for my partner. It doesn't look easy for him to even enter, and I don't know how I can make my opening wider to accommodate him (how much foreplay, how long?). How much pain does the woman feel? Thanks a lot!!


Why was my first time so painful?

1) I have never had sex, but I have tried now twice with my boyfriend, and it has been incredibly painful. It felt like there was a barrier inside me, and the second time I bled. I feel like I am relaxed, and my boyfriend is very gentle and slow, but it still really hurts — more than I think it should. I am able to use tampons — I'm not that small — but I don't know what the problem is. Is it supposed to hurt this much? Could there be something wrong?

2) I'm a virgin, and the first time my boyfriend inserted his fingers in my vagina, it hurt a lot, and I got sore down there. I didn't reach an orgasm, but faked it so he would stop. I didn't enjoy it at all and I was wondering... is this going to happen when I have sex? Is it going to be as disappointing?


What can I do if I'm experiencing an aversion to sex with my long-term partner?

I've been with my boyfriend for just over 4 years. Our sex life has always been the strong thread in our relationship, even when we've had trouble in other areas. We both feel we are the best sexual matches we've ever had. But over the past 8 months things have slowly degraded on my end. He is still as excited as ever, but I just don't feel like it. When we try, I actually feel physically protective, as if blocking my body from a stranger, especially my breasts. It's like a physical compulsion to protect, but neither of us have a history of abuse in our relationship or outside of it, and his approach is loving and open. When he's clothed and we're not about to have sex I love holding him, being held by him, standing next to him, touching him, etc. I'm not physically repulsed by his body: I recognize that he's a ridiculously attractive man! I had some advice that I shouldn't force myself to have sex if I don't want to, but I've also heard the opposite: that I should stop thinking and just push through my body's shutdown. Most of the times when I do force myself I end up enjoying it, but that doesn't take away this "repulsion" feeling at the start. The worst thing is that he feels rejected and dissatisfied and keeps asking what he can do to turn me on. What to do?


How can I reach orgasm with and without sex toys?

1) I'm not an inexperienced girl at masturbation. I've been doing it for a very long time, but actually only ever discovered what an orgasm was when I was 18 and got my first vibrator. This never bothered me because I wasn't sexually active then, but now it does. I realized I have NEVER been able to orgasm from physical touching or from just using fingers. I've always needed a vibrator of sorts and this is worrying me for future relationships and stuff with partners. How can I learn to orgasm from touch instead of vibration? I've tried before and have always just gotten frustrated or fallen asleep.

2) I've sorta been curious lately about what it feels like to do the big M using my fingers. I'm uncomfortable doing it though. I can't even use a tampon let alone do THAT with my fingers and I don't have anything that vibrates. What other options do I have?


Why am I foaming after sex?

Today my partner and I were having sex and he "released" himself inside me. After sex, he began using a dildo on me until I was satisfied. Well, after going in and out of me real hard and fast, a foam-like substance began to appear. The foam was exactly like hair mousse. I am not on any type of birth control (he has a vasectomy), and I was recently tested for STDs a couple of months ago and everything was fine. Could you please tell me what this may have been from!


Can lowered testosterone levels in women reduce sex drive?

Do you have any information on the effects of low testosterone concerning sexual desire in women? After I got pregnant, I have had a significant drop in sexual desire and think it could be related to low testosterone. Any info on the subject? By the way, this problem had nothing to do with stress, marital problems, or the baby. Everything in my life is great except I lost my sexual desire and want to get it back. THANKS.


What should I do if I'm worried about my sexual inexperience?

I grew up in a religiously conservative family, and now I go to a private Christian college. I will be a junior this year, but I've known since freshman year that the school and the religion just weren't right for me. I love the education, but I'm afraid I'm sexually deprived. When I hear all my friends who go to public school talk about parties and sex, it makes me feel like I'm really missing out. I wanted to transfer, but it just isn't fiscally possible. I'm a very mature person, but I haven't done anything sexual (not even kiss!). The girl to guy ratio at my school is 3:1, and most of the boys are very awkward. I want to experiment, but no one at my school does that. I'm afraid that when I graduate, I still won't have done anything, and no one will want me because I have no experience.


Do fewer women masturbate than men?

I have searched your files for the answer to a question that has long been bugging me. It has to do with masturbation. I can see by the questions there are many men who masturbate, but I don't see many from women. Do many women masturbate? Are they just more shy about talking about it? Can you give any specifics on the percentage of women, versus the percentage of men, who masturbate?


How can I optimize female masturbation?

Your masturbation section is overflowing with male inquiries, so I thought I'd throw my question in to add some variety. What are ways to optimize female masturbation? I often read dirty books to get things going, but I don't always reach my intended destination. I have trouble reaching orgasm while flying solo, and I'd really like to learn more about the female erogenous zones and how to optimize my masturbation experience. Basically, how can I best bring myself to pleasure through self-stimulation?


What should I do if I'm a conservative Christian and I'm considering sex before marriage?

I'm a Christian, very conservative in upbringing, and I'm having difficulties in discussing sex in an open and casual manner. I told my male friends that sex should be done within the parameters of marriage. But they told me that I should have a first sexual experience so as to satisfy my wife or maybe a girlfriend (I don't have one yet). Should I follow their opinion regarding this? Should I first know the sexual dynamics of sexual intercourse before doing it with her?

I would appreciate your kind response.

Thank you.


Why is my penis curved and who can I see about it?

1) I have a problem with my penis. Even in the midst of excitement, it is not erect but it is curved. Is that a problem or something to be concerned about?

2) My boyfriend has a crook in his penis. He is worried it could be something serious. We have never had sex, just dry sex, and he thinks the crook is because of that. Now we can't do that anymore because he doesn't want it to bend anymore. Help.

3) What kind of doctor can someone go to if they have a curved penis?


Why do I lose my erection when I put on a condom?

I care for my girlfriend, whom I have been seeing for a few months now. I have no problem maintaining an erection when she performs oral sex on me. In fact I can climax twice in a relatively short time. We have, however, been unable to actually engage in intercourse, since when we go to put on the condom, I lose my erection. I'm not really having too much of a problem getting erect (i.e., I get an erection, and may lose it early on, but I am able to get and maintain another one for oral sex). What could be the problem? Stress? A lack of physical attraction? I will be grateful for any answer you can provide me.