Is it possible to have too much sex?

Dear J, 

It’s common to worry that too much action can turn passion into burnout. That said, in answering your questions, you may want to consider: how much sex you consider ‘too much’?  Is it impacting your life, health, or your partner’s? The limit can vary from person to person as the frequency of sex and sexual habits often depends on your unique circumstances. If you believe your current behavior to be too much, you might consider speaking with your health care provider to discuss ways to slow down this drive if that’s your goal.  

What is nymphomania? 

There’s lots of different terms associated with having a lot of sex. To speak specifically about nymphomania, the term was used back in the 19^th century to describe women that were judged as “sexually promiscuous”. Today, however, nymphomania is recognized as an outdated term because it was based on biased perceptions rather than on a concrete diagnosable condition. Instead, more current, acceptable terms have emerged to describe behavior that indicates having what some may deem as a lot of sex or being overly sexual. These terms now encompass all genders, and include examples such as: 

• Hypersexuality disorder 
• Compulsive sexual behavior 
• Sex addiction 
• Problematic hypersexuality 

List adapted from Very Well Health 

It's worth noting that none of these terms are recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). In fact, the formal list of symptoms and diagnosis criteria for these behaviors is still hotly debated within research.  

What causes hypersexuality?  

Hypersexuality is when a person has sexual urges, fantasies, or behaviors frequently and to the point where it starts to interfere with the rest of their life. The exact causes of hypersexuality aren’t crystal clear since everyone has unique experiences and biology. However, some research suggests that possible causes may include stressful life events, trauma, or chemical imbalances in the brain. One example of the latter is with the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine, which is known as the ‘feel-good’ chemical, helps control your mood. When dopamine and other neurotransmitters are out of balance, it can throw off your sexual desire. 

Keep in mind, however, that these causes aren't an exact pathway to an uncontrollably high libido. Instead, they’re possible factors that may contribute to hypersexuality.  

What are the signs of hypersexuality? 

When it comes to stripping down the signs of hypersexuality, it’s important to note that they can differ from person to person. For some people, a sign of hypersexuality is when sex starts feeling more like a chore than a choice or when it takes priority over other aspects of your life, like school, work, or social life. Another sign of hypersexuality can be when you continue these sexual behaviors, even when you’re aware of their negative impacts.  

To decide whether the amount of sex you’re having is doing more harm than good, you may consider asking yourself some questions like: 

• Does the sex I’m having disrupt my work, school, or social life to a harmful extent? 
• Is it causing me or my partner(s) physical harm? 
• Is it causing me or my partner(s) emotional distress? 
• Do I find it difficult to control my sexual urges or behaviors in settings that I’m not comfortable with? 

Answering these questions may help to bring you more in touch with understanding your sexual desires and behaviors.  

Are there positive aspects of having sex regularly? 

Even with the potential concerns of having “too much sex”, it should be noted that there are also a number of benefits to having sex on the regular. Specifically, having intercourse regularly can boost your mood, resulting in decreased stress levels and increased pleasure. Having sex that leads to orgasm might help you drift off to sleep more easily. It can even lead to a better quality of sleep, leaving you feeling more refreshed and ready to take on the day. What’s even better, is with a certain level of enthusiasm, sex can be a great workout! Fun fact: depending on the intensity, sex can burn about 150 to 200 calories per hour. Because of this, sex may even contribute to better cardiovascular health.  

The frequency of sex you have can have its upsides and downsides. Finding a rhythm that works best for you and your partner(s) is key. If you’re worried that you’re getting carried away with the tempo, you may want to consider speaking with a health care provider. They may be able to help you with what you’re experiencing. They might also put you in contact with a mental health provider to help you dive further into your concerns.  

Hope this covered all the bases,