Showing 1 - 50 of 121 results

Why have I started fantasizing about women when I've only ever liked men?

I have always been attracted to men, and have only been with men. I am currently happily engaged to a man, and have no doubts about our relationship. However, I've discovered over the past couple of years (even when I was with my previous boyfriend) that I do not like porn with men in it. I like lesbian porn! And anytime I've masturbated I've fantasized about women (never one that I know or have seen.) It's made me very uncomfortable, finally admitting it to myself. I do remember when I was in 7th grade there was a new girl at our school. When she got a boyfriend I was very jealous; I just assumed it was because she was new and I didn't have all her attention *ha* Is this normal? Am I out of my mind!?


If someone's sexually adventurous, does that mean they're more likely to cheat?

If my wife is sexually adventurous, does it mean she's more likely to cheat? My wife is slowly opening up to me about how sexually adventurous she wants to be (I'm talking bondage-type stuff), and I'm afraid that maybe she might cheat in the future if her "appetite" isn't met. I haven't voiced any of these concerns, I've been completely supportive of it and actually would be completely ok with doing all of it. I just worry that maybe the adventure-ness might be a sign of promiscuity?


If my partner and I both have HSV-1 and HSV-2, will having sex cause more outbreaks?

I have tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. My boyfriend has also tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. This a a long-term stable relationship. Neither of us has outbreaks very often.

Since this is a monogamous relationship, do we need to use any protection for genital or oral sex? I understand that we both have antibodies for 1 and 2 so I don't believe we can reinfect each other. However, when I consulted some doctors and sites, they suggested refraining from any sexual intimacy whenever one of us has an outbreak or feels an outbreak is about to happen.

My question is: if we both already have herpes 1 & 2 can we a) re-infect each other or b) cause either of us to have more outbreaks? Also, can we spread the virus to other locations on our own bodies?

Thanks, Alice. I hope you can help us.


Should I refrain from using frozen condoms?

I'm not wrong when I say condoms can freeze, right? I had some condoms in my car when the temperature outside was definitely below freezing. They were only out in the cold for about thirty minutes. Would it be safe to still use them? Or, should I discard the condoms and get new ones? The box says to keep it below 100-degree temperature, but doesn't say anything about keeping them above a certain temperature. Safe or not?


Are there tests for herpes and genital warts?

I have recently gone to a Planned Parenthood STD Clinic. From what they told me, they tested for everything "curable" (i.e., they did not test for HIV, genital warts, or herpes). I know where to get tested for HIV, but my question is: are there tests for herpes and genital warts? What are the odds of someone having herpes or genital warts and being asymptomatic? I plan to use a condom during intercourse regardless, but must I do the same for oral sex as well? Is there any way of knowing for sure if someone is clean of STDs?


How can I get over my boyfriend using porn magazines?

So my problem is that recently (about 6 months ago) I discovered that my boyfriend keeps pornographic magazines. We have been going out for 6 years. Much of that has been long-distance, but we have lived together for the last year. This discovery blew me away in part because until then my only complaint about our relationship was the fact that he didn't want sex nearly as often as I did — so now I'm angry that while I was feeling less than satisfied, physically, he was masturbating, and leaving me out in the cold. Since then, I've also noticed that he only wants to have sex after he's spent some time with his mags.

Given that I am horrified by the mere existence of this kind of material — I'm not going to get into a debate about its legality, but I truly believe it is exploitation worse than slavery. Given this, is there any way to work things out with him? In short, how far am I supposed to stretch my ethics, just because part of me believes that sexually, each of us is free to do what we want??


Does physical activity rev up my sex drive?

I'm curious to know if going to the gym increases sexual drive? I am a female in my 20s and recently started an exercise routine (running and weights), and I have noticed that my sexual drive has increased significantly. There have been no other major changes in my life, and I have been dating the same man for close to two years now, so I can think of no other real reason why my libido would have increased. Is there any real connection between working out in the gym and beneath the sheets?


Can I go off and on birth control pills on my own?

I've been on birth control pills for eight years and I'm thinking about trying a few months off them. They were prescribed when I was pretty young because of very irregular periods. I also was involved in a monogamous relationship for a number of years, so they were convenient. Now I have no steady partner, and am really curious to see how I feel without taking these pills. Would it be ok to go off them at the end of my pill pack or should I consult someone at health services first? If I go off for a few months and my periods are as horrendous as they were when I was younger, would it be safe to start up again on my own (I usually just see someone once per year for pill checks)?


Is it normal to spot with a NuvaRing?

I have been on the Nuvaring for three months now, and I am keeping it in for the four weeks then changing it because my doctor said there's no need for me to have a period. About two weeks ago I started having dark brown discharge and it has gotten more heavy, but only when I run or stand up real quick. Is this normal or should I call my doctor and find out what is going on?


What are the common reasons for condom failure?

I live in Prague, Czech Republic — Europe. Before asking any question, I should tell you that I really appreciate your service. As for my question, I would like to ask you about the most common reasons for condom failure as a contraceptive method. I suppose that the most frequent one is condom breakage. But what are the others? I am especially concerned about pregnancy risk implied by the accidental transfer of sperm in pre-cum to condom by fingers while putting it on.


Are condoms from vending machines safe?

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE answer this question for me. Are condoms you buy from machines in the bathroom safe? What I mean is, could they carry some sort of disease or STD or anything that can make me sick (I don't mean allergies)? And also, could you tell me if American condoms are better than other countries' condoms? I read that U.S. condoms are electronically tested for defects or diseases, but I was wondering if other countries like Europe or Thailand or whatever tested their condoms, too. If I was older, I would buy condoms from boxes, but until then, I am stuck buying them from bathroom machines.


What should I do if my boyfriend says no to role-playing?

I love my boyfriend, and communication is great, but things have gotten a little... boring.

I have this scenario that involves role-playing that I'm dying to try, but when I asked my boyfriend if he thought role-playing would be too kinky, he responded that he doesn't see the need for it and "why would I want to imagine someone else if I have you?" That was very sweet, but it makes me feel guilty to approach the subject again. I don't want him to think I love him less than he loves me, I just think it would be fun to try...

So, how do I tactfully re-approach this with him... or do I just try to forget about it and accept that we be confined to "business as usual"? Please help, Alice.


How do I know what condom size will fit me?

1) In my shopping and looking for condoms, I NEVER come across a formal size chart. I have been told that I was "endowed" and that I need to look toward larger sized models, but all I ever see is "snug fit," "large," and "extra large," etc. How big is big? It would be most helpful if I knew what I was buying before I actually bought it. Do you know of the sizes of some popular condoms, or of a size chart resource?

2) I have just started sleeping with my girlfriend and I was a virgin previously. Unfortunately, a slight problem has interfered... I tried to use a condom the first time (a free one from Health Services) and it was too small on me. I only rolled up about 3/4 of the way and was *very* uncomfortable. Is there any specific brand that I could use that would be more comfortable?


Is Mirena safe for those who have yet to give birth?

I have recently been advised that my on-going migraines might be caused and/or increased by the use of contraceptives containing estrogen. To that end, I have been recommended to switch to a progesterone-only form of birth control. Which, in turn, basically means I get to choose between Implanon and Mirena (I really can't stand needles, so Depo is out for me!). I am only 23 years old, and have not yet started a family. I do want to have children someday, and am very enticed by the idea of Mirena lasting to the point when I might want to begin trying to get pregnant. However, all of the advertisements for Mirena state that ideal candidates have already had children.

Is Mirena still safe for use in women who have not yet given birth? If so are there any additional side effects to consider in this instance?


How can I make sure my condom works properly? 

1) Recently, during intercourse, my condom broke. Now, of course, I am very worried about it happening again. I am constantly checking the condom during sex and find that the condom is extremely tight against the tip of my penis whenever I check. I am afraid it will get tight again and break. I'm not sure what to do or where to go. Is the condom supposed to be very tight at the tip or not? Any help would be great.

2) Here's my query. I recently started having sex, and we are committed to using condoms. What is the "right" way to use a condom? I know how to put them on and take them off. But I'm petrified about having it break or come off. Also, someone told me that I should pull out immediately after I ejaculate. Is this true? This has happened before, but I have "stayed in" because I wanted my partner to have an orgasm. Is it really important to withdraw immediately after ejaculation?


What should I do with her breasts?

I've been having this problem with my girlfriend. Whenever we make out, I get the impression that she wants me to do something with her breasts... but I don't have the foggiest what to do.

I'm sure that they aren't there strictly for my enjoyment; so, what can I do with my girlfriend that would offer her some pleasure, as well?

I've tried other sources of information, but most other sources either concentrate solely on the vagina, g-spot, and clitoris, or they simply state that breasts are an erogenous zone and leave it at that.


What does it mean if I desire anal sex?

I am a well-adjusted late twenties male with a steady girlfriend. Lately, I have been increasingly fantasizing about various types of anal penetration. I have discovered that during masturbation, this brings me very intense pain/pleasure. Even though I think it may be satisfying to experiment with a vibrator or other objects inserted by my girlfriend, I find myself drawn toward trying the real thing (i.e., having anal sex with a penis). The problem is, I definitely do not consider myself homosexual and, in fact, the thought of the actual act with another man actually repulses me. Am I trying to have the real thing without going through a bisexual experiment or what?


Do birth control pills cause brain aneurysms?

Sadly, today I found out that a friend of my family has just passed away. The cause of her sudden death was a brain aneurysm. I have been researching brain aneurysms and have found out that oral contraceptives are thought to sometimes cause them. I am 19 and I am taking birth control, and now I am very worried. Can you give me some statistics about brain aneurysms linked to oral contraceptives? Thank you.


What are different types of condoms?

1) I've never bought condoms before. I'm a smart shopper — I look at things like quality and value when I buy anything — and I want to do the same with my condom purchases. But I don't know what to look for!!! And I'm not sure I'm ballsy enough to walk up to the pharmacist and ask, "Now, tell me, if your daughter were having sex, which brand of condom would you want her to use with her boyfriend?"

I want a really effective condom, that doesn't, like, smell weird or fit poorly or anything. And I don't want to whip it out and have my man laughing at it.

Who do I ask for advice on this??? Where do I go?

2) My boyfriend and I have recently decided that we will use condoms and spermicide for contraceptive purposes. We have begun experimenting with various brands/types of condoms, which has caused concern. Can you explain the various types of condoms, and/or the advantages/disadvantages of each, i.e., effectiveness, etc. Lambskin vs. latex vs. polyurethane??? We are monogamous and primarily concerned with pregnancy prevention.


Can supplements affect birth control effectiveness?

1) Is it true that taking those Emergen-C packets or any other vitamin supplements can effect the effectiveness of your birth control pill?

2) I know antibiotics can lower the effectiveness of birth control, but can probiotics or prebiotics, such as a floral acidophilus FOS, also decrease effectiveness? I've been taking birth control pills for the past 10 years with no scares or baby bumps, and I don't want to wake up pregnant one day because I took a capsule that's supposed to be healthy! :)


How do I feel more comfortable with a new sex partner?

First, I'd like to thank you for this service! It's been so informative to read the advice you've given others. I'm a female grad student and have just gotten into a relationship for the first time. I have a few questions regarding oral sex: my boyfriend loves to suck my nipples and I feel great when he's doing it, but after a while, my nipples start to feel tender and actually hurt sometimes... is this normal? He's not rough when he's doing it, so I'm not sure why this happens.

Also, when my boyfriend "goes down" on me, I worry about what he thinks of my smell and taste. He says he likes it, but I can't be sure... is there some way of finding out if my scent is normal? Can he pass any infections (to my vagina) from his saliva? (He has had only 1 one-night stand affair and he used a condom that time).

Also, I masturbate him (I stroke his penis) until he "comes," but I'm afraid of tasting his "come." He hasn't asked me to, but I think he would like it if I did... how can I overcome this inhibition? Are there any risks for me? I appreciate any help/advice... Thanks a lot!


How can we make it more equal when it comes to initiating sex?

I have been with my long term girlfriend for five years. I am seriously thinking about getting engaged.

Over the last three years she has taken control of our sex life. I have definitely become submissive in the bedroom. We don’t get into BDSM, but she always decides when, where, and how. She loves this control. While I have come to accept my submissive role, and I do certainly enjoy making love to her and pleasing her, I have asked her on many occasions for some variety. I would like to enter her sometimes and she has not performed oral sex on me for years. Granted, I am a bit under average in the endowment area and she always has a hard time reaching orgasm with straight intercourse. I have tried to talk to her, but she always shuts down the convo by making me admit that I love pleasuring her. Of course when we start fooling around I am so excited that I just follow her lead.

Honestly, I am very happy in every other aspect and I don't want to add any friction to the relationship. She is a very private person and doesn’t like to talk sex. Visiting a therapist is not an option as I have already subtly suggested it and been rebuffed. Should I be overly concerned? Should I continue to press the issue (although it doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere) or just accept my role? Again, I do enjoy pleasing her and I usually get off. I guess I could be happy continuing this way and I don't want to lose her. I would love your thoughts.


How can I put on a condom if I can't retract my foreskin when I'm erect?

I believe I have a mild case of phimosis. When my penis is not erect, I can retract my foreskin all the way back to reveal the glans. However, when I have a full erection, it is impossible to retract the foreskin to that extent. I can only retract it to reveal the slit and top part of the penis. Due to this problem, I have a question about condom use. I'm still a virgin, so I have never experienced intercourse using a condom. When I read the instructions on how to use a condom, they almost always instruct you to retract the foreskin completely if you are not circumcised. Since I cannot retract the foreskin while erect, is it still possible to use a condom without retracting the foreskin, and will this complication affect slippage of the condom or sensation problems during intercourse? On a side note, why is it recommended to retract the foreskin fully before putting on the condom? Thank you in advance.


Do I need to use condoms if my boyfriend might have an STI and not know it?

If my partner and I have been monogamous for three years (and I was a virgin before we met) and my partner tested negative for the HIV virus (twice, about two years ago, with a six-month gap between the tests) is it safe for us to use a birth control method other than a condom? That is, are there still any STDs that my partner might have without knowing it, that we should be worried about, even though nothing whatsoever has seemed wrong with either of us for three years and my partner has had several regular annual physicals in that time?


What kind of lube should I use when I cock-stuff?

I have started "cock-stuffing" in the past year or so. I use a glass thermometer and insert it into my urethra. I know that this is wildly dangerous — as the glass could break — but I thought it safer as it is manufactured very smoothly.

I know other men who use a variety of implements — pens, markers, tubes, etc., but I have only done it a few times — and it seems that the glass — while not safe as it could break — is safer as it must surely be smoother.

I use my own saliva as a lube — as I am not sure if a personal lubricant — i.e., Wet, KY jelly, or the like, is safe. Not that putting a piece of glass into your urethra is all that safe to start with.

My question — in the end — is personal lube okay to use? Is this a common fetish — I don't do it often — and it doesn't seem to affect me adversely afterwards.

Thank you for any light you can shed on this.