Can I breastfeed my partner if I'm not pregnant?

Dear Lisa,

Got milk? You just might! Even without pregnancy, many people can bring about lactation through a combination of hormonal treatments, medications, or nipple stimulation. However, there are some risks and considerations you might want to discuss with your partner before latching on to your lactation journey. Let’s milk this topic for all it’s worth, shall we?  

Why might someone want to breastfeed their partner?  

Erotic lactation is a form of adult breastfeeding that may be sexually arousing for some people. This can be true for both the lactating partner and the one who’s suckling. Certain couples experience erotic lactation as an intimate way to connect with each other. Some breastfeeders also report that they experience arousing nipple stimulation from their partner suckling at their breast. Many people find nipple stimulation very sexually pleasurable, and it can even cause some people to orgasm. 

Are there any potential risks to breastfeeding your partner?  

Erotic lactation is generally safe for adults who are otherwise healthy, but there are some considerations and potential risks you might consider discussing before beginning breastfeeding. 

Some infections and diseases can be transmitted to your partner through breast milk. For example, infectious diseases like Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and some sexually transmitted infections (STIs), like herpes or syphilis, can enter your breastmilk and spread through lactation. Your partner may also be able to transfer some contagious health issues to you through their saliva, like the common cold and influenza.  

Adults also typically suck much harder than babies, which can sometimes cause soreness or nipple irritation. If it starts to feel more like a vacuum than a romantic experience, it might be time to take a break.  

Can you breastfeed if you haven’t been pregnant?  

Yes! You don’t need to have had a baby to lactate—you just need the right hormonal state and lots of nipple stimulation.  

Inducing lactation works by mimicking the pregnancy and post-partum hormonal states. During pregnancy, the body produces estrogen, progesterone, and prolactin to prepare the breast for milk production. To mimic this state, medical professionals may prescribe a combination of nipple stimulation exercises, synthetic estrogen-progestin oral contraceptives, or medications that can help increase the production of prolactin (called galactagogues).  

Some people have even been able to induce lactation with just nipple stimulation. Nipple stimulation promotes milk production because when your body thinks that someone's trying to feed from you, it responds by increasing prolactin secretion. However, it usually takes several weeks of breast pumping or manual stimulation to actually start producing milk. As inducing lactation can be challenging, you might consider reaching out to a qualified lactation consultant, who can provide more tailored guidance for your situation.  

Are there any potential risks or considerations when inducing lactation?  

There are some risks involved in inducing lactation, though this will likely differ from person to person. Some people might have more trouble inducing lactation than others, even if they follow an ordered plan or work with a lactation specialist. One example of this is if you’re stressed, you might struggle with producing milk. Some common medications, including diphenhydramine (an antihistamine) and pseudoephedrine (a decongestant), can make it harder for your body to secrete prolactin and therefore decrease the amount of milk you produce. Smoking, heavy alcohol consumption, and estrogen-containing hormonal contraceptives have also all been associated with reduced breast milk production.  

In addition, some of the supplements and medications commonly used for lactation induction can cause harmful side effects. Metoclopramide and Domperidone are often used to increase prolactin levels, but can also cause anxiety, restlessness, fatigue, drowsiness, dry mouth, headache, dizziness, diarrhea, and itchy skin. Domperidone also isn’t approved or regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in the United States because it’s been linked to cardiac safety risks.  

Before developing a lactation plan, it could be helpful to discuss any potential side effects with a medical professional, as they can help you understand how these side effects could interact with other medical conditions you may have.  

Breast of luck with lactation!