Showing 1 - 50 of 60 results

How can I tell my nosy roommate to step off?

I'm a junior in college and I live in a suite with five other girls. We are all best friends, except for one girl. None of us like her because she says anything that pops into her head (she told one of my suitemates, who is battling an eating disorder, that she looked pregnant), and she is constantly trying to find out gossip about us. After a night of fun, she will come into all of our rooms, and pump us for info (she hasn't gone out with us yet this year). She thrives on knowing gossip about anyone and everyone. My question is: how can we tell her to mind her own business and shut her mouth? Also: how can we tell her that we don't want her to live with us next year? Thanks for your help!

Topics:

Relationships

Can I determine whether my girlfriend is a virgin?

I had my first sexual experience with my girlfriend a few months ago. She told me she was a virgin, but after having intercourse, I didn't believe her and was hurt. She didn't seem to be in any pain, there was no bleeding, and there was no hymen. She makes up all these excuses like "not all girls have them." Should I believe her? Is there a sure-fire way of determining whether or not I was her first? It is making me angry. Can you ease my pain?

Topics:

Relationships Sexual and Reproductive Health

Is anal sex okay if I'm in remission from Crohn’s?

I have had Crohn's disease for 16 years and am in remission right now. Recently my boyfriend and I have been toying with the idea of anal sex, but I'm concerned about it given my health issues. I have a lot of thickening of the terminal ileum walls and worry that the "trauma" of anal sex could set off a flare up and be painful because of the narrowing. Any thoughts? I'm way too embarrassed to discuss this with my male doctor. Thanks!

Topics:

General Health Sexual and Reproductive Health

How deep is the average vagina, and does it elongate when something's in it?

I was wondering about the depth of the vagina. I've read statistics that say that the average vagina is only 3 to 4 inches deep. This seems way too small to me, since the average penis is considerably longer than that. Wouldn't that mean that most penises would crash into the cervix repeatedly during intercourse? Since this obviously doesn't happen, my question is this: does the vagina actually elongate during intercourse to accommodate the entire length of the average penis?

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

Will Valtrex protect me from developing genital herpes from a partner who has a cold sore?

Dear Alice, 

I take Valtrex daily to protect me from cold sores I get on my face. I haven’t had one since I started taking it a few years ago. My partner gets cold sores on his mouth and has recently performed oral sex on me while having a cold sore. Will the daily Valtrex protect me from developing genital herpes? How will this affect me in the future?

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

What does it mean if I desire anal sex?

I am a well-adjusted late twenties male with a steady girlfriend. Lately, I have been increasingly fantasizing about various types of anal penetration. I have discovered that during masturbation, this brings me very intense pain/pleasure. Even though I think it may be satisfying to experiment with a vibrator or other objects inserted by my girlfriend, I find myself drawn toward trying the real thing (i.e., having anal sex with a penis). The problem is, I definitely do not consider myself homosexual and, in fact, the thought of the actual act with another man actually repulses me. Am I trying to have the real thing without going through a bisexual experiment or what?

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

What can I do if my new relationship is affected by my partner's former abuse?

My current girlfriend is still getting over an abusive relationship that she was involved in two years ago. The abuse included repeated rape throughout the two-and-half-year-long relationship. She has never been able to enjoy sex and cannot bring herself to do it again. Despite her feelings for me, she cannot relax enough during sex for it not to hurt her. I have not forced her into having sex she cannot enjoy. We have been together for nearly a year now and the problem does not seem to be getting better for her. She has nightmares and is uncomfortable and afraid in many day-to-day situations. She is worried that going to a counselor will mean she will be in counseling for the rest of her life to get over this. This has become such a hindrance to us being happy that I sometimes wonder if it is best to stay with her to try to help her through this, or whether I am out of my league.

Topics:

Mental and Emotional Health Sexual and Reproductive Health

How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?

Topics:

Mental and Emotional Health Relationships

How can I have more pleasurable sex when my partner's penis is too large?

I have encountered a problem I never expected; my boyfriend is quite simply very large. I am unable to perform oral sex except for the first couple of inches due to the girth, and vaginal sex is not totally satisfying for him because he is too long and cannot fully penetrate without causing me significant pain. I've seen my doctor, and am reassured that there is physically nothing wrong with me — no infections or scarring, but am finding it difficult to come up with a solution. Any suggestions?

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

Do I need to use condoms if my boyfriend might have an STI and not know it?

If my partner and I have been monogamous for three years (and I was a virgin before we met) and my partner tested negative for the HIV virus (twice, about two years ago, with a six-month gap between the tests) is it safe for us to use a birth control method other than a condom? That is, are there still any STDs that my partner might have without knowing it, that we should be worried about, even though nothing whatsoever has seemed wrong with either of us for three years and my partner has had several regular annual physicals in that time?

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

How to navigate relationship with gay roommate?

When I came to Columbia, my roommate and I got along really well. We still do. However, three weeks into the year, I learned that he is gay. I have no problems with this, I'd like to think that I'm open-minded — but can you give me some advice on how to handle this relationship?

Topics:

Relationships

Can I still sleep over now that my girlfriend has a roommate?

I have a problem. The problem is my new roommate. We didn't know that he was gay when we asked him to be our roommate because he went out with girls before he moved in. After a month of living with us he started going to gay night at the local clubs and then found this guy. It is a week later and when my other roommate came home from seeing his girlfriend he found condoms all over the place. He didn't even clean up his mess! What should we do? We still have to live with him for another year.

Topics:

Relationships

How can I get my girlfriend to swallow?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, and I love her very much. We have a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship, and we communicate well. Recently, I told her of my fantasy of her performing oral sex on me and swallowing my sperm. She said that would be "gross," and has never brought me to climax during oral sex because she does not want me to come in her mouth. I perform oral sex for her, and I enjoy having her sexual fluids on my face and tasting them. We have discussed sexual fantasies before and have pleased each other very much. But she will still not accept my sperm in her mouth, and I feel like she does not want to accept a part of me into her body -- that she does not have the fullest desire to please me. When I first asked her to do it, I expected her to want to pleasure me, to have desire for my penis. Now, I feel like she thinks my body is not desirable. My question is: what must I do or say to make her change her mind, to make her understand how much I wish she'd do this?

Topics:

Relationships Sexual and Reproductive Health

Can I use ice cubes to improve oral sex?

I see that in several messages and answers, that reference is made to oral sex accompanied by the use of ice cubes. I'm pretty ignorant about this and would be very grateful to you if you would tell me more about this. My boyfriend and I have a very good sex life and we enjoy making love, but we're also on the look-out for new things to try. I've asked my friends about this and some of them thought it was a joke! Thanks for the help.

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

What can I do if I have no privacy to masturbate?

I used to always masturbate at least once a day before I came here to college. However, now that I have a roommate, I can never find time alone to masturbate. I feel a need to masturbate at least once a day, but now I can't go through with my urge every day. Thus I start thinking about masturbation during class, and it's really affecting my mind. I need to masturbate or else I can't function correctly. Please help me out. Maybe there is another means to get out my sexual urges.

Topics:

Relationships Sexual and Reproductive Health

Do I have urethritis or something else?

My boyfriend has had pain during urination and ejaculation. We have been only with each other for the past year and neither of us have STIs. The info I have found on the internet makes me believe maybe he has urethritis. My question is, can you cause damage to the urethra during oral sex? I don't want to get too personal, so I will leave it alone, but I want to know, can you cause damage due to any force to the urethral opening?

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

How can I navigate conversations with my partner about his living situation?

At my school, there are three kinds of rooms: singles (one person in one room), doubles (two people in one room), and walk-throughs (two people in two rooms with a door separating them). My partner is living in a walk-through double with a friend of his. He lives on the inside room, which means I have to walk through his roommate’s room to get to his room. I hate it! I feel so guilty leaving my partner's room late at night and if my partner's roommate isn't home, I feel like I'm somehow invading his privacy by walking through his room. When we hang out, I get uncomfortable being intimate (or even just hanging out pantsless!) with my partner knowing that his roommate is on the other side of the door. There's supposed to be more privacy, but in some ways, it feels like we have less! My partner and his roommate haven't had any trouble with the walk-through arrangement... but I do. I feel weird talking to his roommate about guidelines and solutions because it isn't my room. How can I find ways to set guidelines and boundaries for this peculiar situation without making myself a huge nuisance?

Topics:

Relationships

How can I help a roommate with an eating disorder?

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?

Topics:

Nutrition and Physical Activity Relationships

How do I use dental dams?

I've seen the recommendations. I've seen the suggestions for do-it-yourself workaround (cutting open a condom, plastic wrap... ). What I *haven't* seen is practical usage advice — how to place the thing effectively, how to overcome the limitations of losing direct contact, how to arrange things to permit vaginal penetration with fingers while still maintaining protection and so on. Best-practice condom use isn't perfectly obvious either, but at the most basic level it's pretty straightforward. If you want to build acceptance for barrier use during cunnilingus, it needs to be at least as clear and/or at least as well-documented.

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

How can I move forward with a homophobic roommate?

I'm a lesbian and I think that my roommate could be slightly homophobic. We have never really had a great relationship but now that I've come out to her, we don't talk much at all. How do I talk with her about this issue so that we can put it behind is without making it so awkward?

Topics:

Relationships

Is it dangerous to get oral sex from someone with braces?

1) I'm a young gay man, and I'm concerned about oral sex and HIV. What are the risks, statistically and in your opinion, of receiving oral sex without a condom? Also, and this will sound kind of funny, I have braces, so I'm assuming giving head is dangerous.

2) A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were having oral sex and... well, to make a long story short, my penis got "snagged" on her braces and I received a deep cut on the head. I put Neosporin on it every night for a week, but the cut doesn't seem to be healing very quickly. I don't want to go to Health Services because of the embarrassing nature of the problem.

Help me quickly, please, because it also is very painful to urinate, let alone have any sexual activity. I was also wondering if there was a risk in contracting any STDs from this occurrence. I would really appreciate any advice you can give me.

Topics:

General Health Sexual and Reproductive Health

What does semen taste like?

1) I'm in a new relationship and would like to perform oral sex with my partner, but never have experienced my partner actually coming in my mouth. I know this sounds silly, but what does cum taste like and how much is there normally? From conversations I have had with my boyfriend, he would prefer me to "swallow." I'm just not sure I can do that, but would like to at least try, but I don't want to disappoint him by not knowing what to expect.

2) I am a 23-year-old vegetarian male, though I eat fish and milk products. I would like to know how I can improve the taste of my sperm, as my girlfriend greatly dislikes the taste. I am interested to know how diet and exercise can improve the taste. Your reply would be greatly appreciated, as this is a topic that is difficult to talk to health professionals about.

Topics:

Nutrition and Physical Activity Sexual and Reproductive Health

How can I sleep with my girlfriend without making my roommate uncomfortable?

My girlfriend and I both go to the same college and have been sleeping together for a while now, which has been easy because she has a room of her own. However, because of the way university housing worked out for next year, both of us are going to be living in doubles with roommates. We would like to continue sleeping together, but I realize that having a roommate could make this difficult. Should I approach my future roommate about the situation, and if so how should I go about doing so?

Topics:

Relationships

How can I tell her she has a musty vaginal smell?

I recently started dating a woman and when I gave her oral sex the first time, it smelled very musty. I didn't want to offend her so the next date I planned a bath for us so I could bathe her and I'd be sure of her vagina being clean. But within an hour I was giving her oral sex and the smell was still there although not as strong. I had asked her when her period was due and she told me not for two weeks. Women before when I've done this never had an odor right after a bath. I've only been with her a short time and like her very much and want to continue the relationship, but I don't want to offend her by bringing this issue up, but at the same time I don't know if I could get used to it? Please tell me how to solve this problem or what I could say that wouldn't offend her.

Topics:

Relationships Sexual and Reproductive Health

What is protruding on my butt after having anal sex?

Here is my situation: My b/f and I had anal sex, and this was not the first time we've done it. But this time was different. After we were done I noticed there was something that kind of just popped out from my bottom. It's like a piece of your skin or muscle or something. I kept trying to push it back in, but it keeps coming back out. It doesnt cause me great pain, but just a little bit of itching sometimes. What is it? What should i do with it? Is it bad? Please let me know. Thank you.

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

How do I suck someone's balls?

I've always come to this site to either browse through others' problems and compare them to my own and because I've been sexually curious for as long as I can remember. Recently, a guy I've been friends with and I have started to "get to know each other." Last night, this question arose: How exactly do you "suck balls" and what are the benefits? I looked through everyone's questions, and I didn't see this one.

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

Is it okay for my partner to ejaculate inside of me during unprotected anal sex?

My fiance and I frequently enjoy anal sex. We no longer use condoms with each other during vaginal sex or anal sex. He enjoys ejaculating in me during anal sex and I don't mind it. Immediately afterwards I go to the bathroom and get out his cum, but sometimes it takes awhile for it to all come out. I'm wondering if this is OK to do or if it is harmful to my body because I do enjoy it and would like to continue. I just don't know anyone else who does this and wonder if it could harm me in any way. I've been wondering so much about it lately that I don't want to have anal sex anymore because I'm worried.

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health
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