Showing 1 - 38 of 38 results

Can frequent masturbation affect sexual function?

1) Hi! I have a question about orgasms. I'm a female who has masturbated since her early teens and wonder if I've "overdone" it somewhat. I did it so frequently (sometimes every other day or so; sometimes I waited longer) that now that I'm in my early 20s, I find it harder to reach orgasm, and harder to have multiple orgasms (it used to come so easily to me). Have I "lost" that momentum? Can I regain it if, say, I stopped masturbating for several weeks or months?

Also, my partner stimulates me manually or with his tongue, and I haven't been able to "come" yet... is it because I've masturbated too much? Do women take longer to come? I think he gets bored doing it...

2) My boyfriend has trouble ejaculating, usually taking a long time. I was wondering if it could have to do with his constant masturbation during most of his young life. Could it be that the problem is me? Is there a possibility that we can improve the situation?


How can I tell my nosy roommate to step off?

I'm a junior in college and I live in a suite with five other girls. We are all best friends, except for one girl. None of us like her because she says anything that pops into her head (she told one of my suitemates, who is battling an eating disorder, that she looked pregnant), and she is constantly trying to find out gossip about us. After a night of fun, she will come into all of our rooms, and pump us for info (she hasn't gone out with us yet this year). She thrives on knowing gossip about anyone and everyone. My question is: how can we tell her to mind her own business and shut her mouth? Also: how can we tell her that we don't want her to live with us next year? Thanks for your help!


Is it normal for straight men to masturbate together?

1) I'm a 21 year old male virgin. I have a male friend the same age. Every now and then we watch an X-rated movie together and masturbate at the same time and in the same room. We have done this for a number of years. We are both straight. Is this a normal act for men or not?

2) I'm male and eighteen. I have known my best friend for over two years now. He is the same age, and we are roommates in college. We are straight and love women. But every now and then we will sit beside each other and masturbate each other before we go to bed. Is this normal? Or is there something wrong? Should we be doing this at all?


How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


What are the side effects of masturbation?

1) Having read a few posts related to the question, "Is masturbation harmful?", most of the answers I've seen seem to suggest that the only possible harm could be psychological, in the sense that masturbation may be a distraction from one's normal routine.

What about the actual PHYSICAL side effects? Some things can not be dismissed as mere "wives' tales"! For example, when I masturbate often, I do notice a darkening under my eyes. I am only 28, but having been at this a while, it does seem as though I can not as easily become erect, or stay erect for as long as I used to. I may not have grown hair on my palms, but I have noticed (and I'm willing to concede that there may be no causal relationship here) that I have become somewhat hairier, in all the wrong places.

Please set the record straight as to what, if any, harmful PHYSICAL side effects may result from masturbation, and why, in the face of my testimonial and no doubt countless others, such symptoms as I have described are dismissed by yourself and your peers as "myths."

2) Does masturbation affect your growth if you are not yet fully grown?


How can I reach orgasm with and without sex toys?

1) I'm not an inexperienced girl at masturbation. I've been doing it for a very long time, but actually only ever discovered what an orgasm was when I was 18 and got my first vibrator. This never bothered me because I wasn't sexually active then, but now it does. I realized I have NEVER been able to orgasm from physical touching or from just using fingers. I've always needed a vibrator of sorts and this is worrying me for future relationships and stuff with partners. How can I learn to orgasm from touch instead of vibration? I've tried before and have always just gotten frustrated or fallen asleep.

2) I've sorta been curious lately about what it feels like to do the big M using my fingers. I'm uncomfortable doing it though. I can't even use a tampon let alone do THAT with my fingers and I don't have anything that vibrates. What other options do I have?


What should I do if I'm worried about my sexual inexperience?

I grew up in a religiously conservative family, and now I go to a private Christian college. I will be a junior this year, but I've known since freshman year that the school and the religion just weren't right for me. I love the education, but I'm afraid I'm sexually deprived. When I hear all my friends who go to public school talk about parties and sex, it makes me feel like I'm really missing out. I wanted to transfer, but it just isn't fiscally possible. I'm a very mature person, but I haven't done anything sexual (not even kiss!). The girl to guy ratio at my school is 3:1, and most of the boys are very awkward. I want to experiment, but no one at my school does that. I'm afraid that when I graduate, I still won't have done anything, and no one will want me because I have no experience.


Do fewer women masturbate than men?

I have searched your files for the answer to a question that has long been bugging me. It has to do with masturbation. I can see by the questions there are many men who masturbate, but I don't see many from women. Do many women masturbate? Are they just more shy about talking about it? Can you give any specifics on the percentage of women, versus the percentage of men, who masturbate?


How can I optimize female masturbation?

Your masturbation section is overflowing with male inquiries, so I thought I'd throw my question in to add some variety. What are ways to optimize female masturbation? I often read dirty books to get things going, but I don't always reach my intended destination. I have trouble reaching orgasm while flying solo, and I'd really like to learn more about the female erogenous zones and how to optimize my masturbation experience. Basically, how can I best bring myself to pleasure through self-stimulation?


How to navigate relationship with gay roommate?

When I came to Columbia, my roommate and I got along really well. We still do. However, three weeks into the year, I learned that he is gay. I have no problems with this, I'd like to think that I'm open-minded — but can you give me some advice on how to handle this relationship?


Can I still sleep over now that my girlfriend has a roommate?

I have a problem. The problem is my new roommate. We didn't know that he was gay when we asked him to be our roommate because he went out with girls before he moved in. After a month of living with us he started going to gay night at the local clubs and then found this guy. It is a week later and when my other roommate came home from seeing his girlfriend he found condoms all over the place. He didn't even clean up his mess! What should we do? We still have to live with him for another year.


What can I do if I have no privacy to masturbate?

I used to always masturbate at least once a day before I came here to college. However, now that I have a roommate, I can never find time alone to masturbate. I feel a need to masturbate at least once a day, but now I can't go through with my urge every day. Thus I start thinking about masturbation during class, and it's really affecting my mind. I need to masturbate or else I can't function correctly. Please help me out. Maybe there is another means to get out my sexual urges.


How can I navigate conversations with my partner about his living situation?

At my school, there are three kinds of rooms: singles (one person in one room), doubles (two people in one room), and walk-throughs (two people in two rooms with a door separating them). My partner is living in a walk-through double with a friend of his. He lives on the inside room, which means I have to walk through his roommate’s room to get to his room. I hate it! I feel so guilty leaving my partner's room late at night and if my partner's roommate isn't home, I feel like I'm somehow invading his privacy by walking through his room. When we hang out, I get uncomfortable being intimate (or even just hanging out pantsless!) with my partner knowing that his roommate is on the other side of the door. There's supposed to be more privacy, but in some ways, it feels like we have less! My partner and his roommate haven't had any trouble with the walk-through arrangement... but I do. I feel weird talking to his roommate about guidelines and solutions because it isn't my room. How can I find ways to set guidelines and boundaries for this peculiar situation without making myself a huge nuisance?


How can I help a roommate with an eating disorder?

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?


How can I move forward with a homophobic roommate?

I'm a lesbian and I think that my roommate could be slightly homophobic. We have never really had a great relationship but now that I've come out to her, we don't talk much at all. How do I talk with her about this issue so that we can put it behind is without making it so awkward?


How can I sleep with my girlfriend without making my roommate uncomfortable?

My girlfriend and I both go to the same college and have been sleeping together for a while now, which has been easy because she has a room of her own. However, because of the way university housing worked out for next year, both of us are going to be living in doubles with roommates. We would like to continue sleeping together, but I realize that having a roommate could make this difficult. Should I approach my future roommate about the situation, and if so how should I go about doing so?


What can I do if my husband prefers porn and masturbation over having sex with me?

I have been married for 4 years now and my husband is very heavy into pornography. He masturbates on a daily basis and doesn't care to have sex with me. I have talked to him about it and he said that it's an addiction. I told him that it hurts me deeply and I have been tempted to cheat on him. In other words, find someone else. Anyway, what do you suggest? I have tried to interest him more by using sex toys, sexy clothing, oral sex, etc. I am an attractive person and a lot of men flirt with me but I just ignore them. I work out at the gym. I asked my husband if he was interested in someone else and he told me no. He works a lot but when he is at home he just wants to watch TV and sleep.


How many times a day do people typically get erections?

Should a normal man's penis become erect for a certain number of times throughout one day (without any external stimulus)? Or, do these erections occur only while a man is sleeping? I have been masturbating once every day or every other day, and I have noticed that I rarely get any of those spontaneous erections during the day at all. Plus, I have been waking up with no morning erection during the past week. Have I been masturbating too much?


Why do I experience pain after masturbating at night?

Sometimes I masturbate before I go to sleep at night. Usually nothing is wrong, but sometimes (and this always occurs at night, I've found) after I masturbate, a few minutes later I have to urinate. And when I do, it is usually very painful. The feeling doesn't pass either. My scrotum usually gets very tightened up, and there is painful feeling above my crotch. Usually I just sit there, drink some water until the feeling goes away. ANY idea what this is?