How do you deal with your fears? I have a fear of other people dying or of myself and others getting a disease. My imagination runs wild with these thoughts, and it's hard to control these worries. I'm always thinking "what if." My friends tell me not to worry unless it actually happens. I know this is true and good advice, but I find it hard to stop worrying. If you could give me some tips on how to control my imagination, it would be much appreciated.

I need some information about panic attacks. My partner moved with me to NY and, at the time of moving, experienced several attacks of extreme fear.

This has paralyzed her to the extent that she no longer goes to work, her career is on hold, and she requires help traveling, if she travels at all. As well as being incredibly distressing for her, it's not helping our relationship either.

My question relates to my role in helping her recover from this. At present I frequently "overlook" the problem by going everywhere with her and being as supportive as possible. Am I an "enabler"? Should I make her "tough it out," or will she just get better?

Recently I've begun experiencing attacks of phobia and anxiety much more than I ever have before. I am aware of most of the problems in my life causing these feelings and am working on fixing the problem from the inside out, but am worried that my life will suffer if I can't get these feelings squared away soon. I often wake up nauseous and am unfit to go to work for several hours, and my eating habits have also been suffering.

My question: would taking an anti-phobic or anti-anxiety (not anti-depressant) medication fabricate calm to such an extent that I wouldn't be able to feel and deal with the causes of my stress head on? I'm looking for something to keep me functioning while I work through this, not in finding a chemical solution that I end up dependent on for my happiness and well-being.

Thanks in advance.

I have a problem that is really uncomfortable for me to deal with, but I'm embarrassed to ask anyone if they have had the same experience. Whenever I take an exam, I sometimes ejaculate in my underwear. I think it may be some sort of stress reaction. Once it's over, I feel very calm and can continue on. Is something wrong, and how common is this? What should I do?

I'm going to cut right to the chase. I eat soap. It makes me feel good, especially when I'm stressed. Well, I don't sit there eating whole bars at a time, but I do take little chunks off to nibble sometimes. Only bar soap though, the all natural ones (I like the taste).

Am I going to have long term side effects from doing this? Please answer back, I don't see a lot of research on this, even though I've heard of quite a few other people that do this. Is it necessary for me to talk to a professional about this?

It seems kind of silly, I was just wondering.

I'm rapidly approaching the end of my studies as a graduate student in the school of the arts. The other day I looked at how much I owed in loans and I am freaking out. And now I think going to grad school was the worst thing I've ever done. I'm so scared right now.

I've never been very good at managing my time, getting homework done, or staying organized. Yet, I learned to work around this and get things done rather successfully. However, recently, I haven't been able to do ANYTHING. I can't get school work done. It's starting to impact my grades. I think this might be a result of a stressful junior year combined with a stressful summer job. I worked 50 hours a week at an understaffed Boys and Girls Club. There might be something about taking care of children — many with serious family/home issues — that really drained me. I only had about a week of summer vacation where I wasn't either working or at home with pneumonia. I went from a rough summer into a difficult senior year. Now, I feel like I need a break to collect myself, but I know I won't get that break until I graduate. What can I do? I don't think I need new organizational strategies, I've picked those up over the years, but then again if I knew what I needed I guess I wouldn't be asking!

Recently I've been thinking a lot about ways to relieve my stress and other mental problems such as OCD and ADD and I have been hearing that meditation, yoga, tai-chi, etc. can possilby help with these problems that I have been suffering with all my life, but I am very confused as to which one would be the best for me.

Also, if I find out which one would work the best for me, how would I go about finding someone that could teach me these things? Or is a book a good way to go? If a book is a good way to go would you suggest one of those "The Complete Idiot's Guide to..." books?

I recently went to my doctor because I've been unable to lose weight. I've been on a successful diet, accompanied with a reasonable exercise plan, but I've seen no real results. A series of tests were run — I've got optimum blood pressure, low cholesterol, and I am not diabetic. But, when my cortisol levels were checked — they were very high. The doctor suspected there was a possibility that I might have Cushings' Syndrome — but another test was run and that came up negative.

I was doing research on the internet, and I found that there was a link between excessive cortisol and depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 12 (I am now 21). And I am currently untreated. What is the link between cortisol levels and depression? Are excessive cortisol levels a physical manifestation of depression? Or does an excess of cortisol for some other reason cause depression? Does an excessive amount of cortisol cause weight gain, or in my case prohibit weight loss? And if there is a connection — will treatment for my clinical depression (in the form of prescription pills) help me?

I've been unable to find answers anywhere, or at least a good source to tell me to stop worrying — any help would be appreciated.

I compete in an individual sport. The problem is that on the day of a major competition, I have really bad indigestion. Sometimes, I have to run to the bathroom every half hour for a bowel movement! Besides being annoying, disgusting, and a little embarrassing, this interrupts my competition and adds unneeded stress. Why is this happening and what can I do to prevent it?

When I get excited about going to see the boy I love or nervous about hanging out alone with him, I have to poop. Everytime. My stomach gets really upset and it cramps and then I have to poop. In most cases it's diarrhea and I never feel like I'm okay by the time I have to leave. Is there something I can do about it to limit it or just stop it in general? I love knowing that I get to see him but I hate the baggage I get beforehand.

Whenever I am physically intimate with a girl or even if I suspect eminent intimacy, I begin to tremble uncontrollably. This makes me feel quite awkward and self-conscious. Also this is the only time it happens. Is this a treatable disorder? Is there perhaps some sort of quick fix solution such as getting slightly inebriated before such an encounter?

1) For the past year now, I have been getting sharp chest pains. Sometimes it feels like I am about to have a heart attack. I find it painful to breathe for the couple of seconds that it happens. The sharp pains occur mostly in the lung/heart area. However, I have also felt them in the lower chest area as well. I don't know what is causing this.

Also, it occurs most frequently during the school year. I should also note that during the school year, I tend to eat greasy fatty foods. However, I had my cholesterol level checked (95) which is low. These pains come any time of day, while I am sleeping, walking, sitting, etc. I am 21-year-old female, if that helps.

By the way, I have a doctor's appointment back home later this month. But I want to have an idea why this happening. Others mentioned to me things about stress, something about a dog's heart, and I was even thinking that it might be cancer.

2) I've recently been experiencing chest pains in the sternum area. Although I don't believe it is related to heart trouble, I think the pain is originating from the bones or muscles attached to the sternum. I have seen doctors but most are clueless as to where the pain may be specifically originating. An interesting side is that during times of stress, the pain is more severe and concentrated at specific points along the sternum. One hypothesis is that the pain may be related to an injured sterno-manubrial joint. If indeed this is the case, what therapy is available to a poor, uninsured student? My mental health is being affected since my once pumped-up, rock hard body is slowly atrophying since I can't lift weights without extreme pain. I'm depressed because the size of my chest is now smaller. What do I do? What's wrong with me?

Sometimes I think what it would be like to be with a man, romantically. I am a single woman, and have never had any relationships. Sometimes, though, when I am imagining what it could be like, it turns violent on me, in my mind, and I always end up being raped. This makes me apprehensive and scared of ever becoming involved with anyone. I am scared that everyone I meet will do this to me. I think that it wouldn't be too bad to be single for the rest of my life, but I want to be loved, to be held. What do you think?

1) I think I might have OCD. I worry about it a lot and I want to go to a doctor, but I am too afraid. Can you please tell me the symptoms of OCD. Thank you.

2) I think I might have OCD. Since I was about 12 or 13, I started thinking really strange thoughts. I always felt like there were eyes watching me. I know its irrational to think such a thing, and I know there aren't any, but I get this weird feeling there are. I have to cover my windows in dark colored papers and check for any holes in them regularly, so there isn't the tiniest hole for someone to peek through. I have shades as well, but I never feel like they're enough. I also have to regularly make sure my windows are locked, sometimes I'll lock and relock them a couple times until it feels like the lock worked. The same with my bedroom door, I will not sleep at night if my door is unlocked, and sometimes I relock it more than once, or even reclose my door more than once. It doesn't always feel like it properly shut the first time. I also have to turn any faces away from me. My stuffed animals can't look in my direction, and I wont hang pictures up in my room if it feels like it has eyes on it. I'm not scared of eyes necessarily, I know some people with beautiful eyes. I just can't take them staring at me. I also know they wont hurt me, either, but it feels as if somehow they will. I don't know how.

I'm really feeling like I might be going crazy. I'm stressed out beyond belief! Should I bring it up with my doctor? Should I get a therapist? Could this be OCD?

Whenever I am in a very stressful situation such as an approaching big deadline, my body gets unusually tired and sleepy regardless of how much rest I get. I sleep well but it never seems to be enough. Why do I get so sleepy and what can I do to prevent this change when stressful situations approach?

Does exercise really reduce stress? I recently took a new job that is very high stress, and I need a release. My friend says I should take up mountain biking, that it will reduce my stress (and keep me from gaining weight at this desk job). Thanks for the great site.

I think I just had my breaking point. I don't know how much more stress I can take. I tried to check out stress-reduction workshops, but the next one is next semester. I don't really want to see a psychiatrist. I don't know what to do. Basically, I think a lot of my stress is because it is just so difficult for me to focus or concentrate on anything. My thoughts are running everywhere. I try, I really do. I even moved into a single for it. I feel so incompetent. I don't give a damn about making friends. I'm always feeling lonely. And worst of all, there is always something that makes me so worried, panicked, to the point of just wanting to die to relieve me of it. I have chest pains when I sleep sometimes. Whenever I do anything away from my desk during my designated "study time," I feel so guilty. Since transferring here this semester, I have never felt confident, relaxed, or satisfied about anything. Everything annoys me. I annoy me. This letter probably sounds really unorganized, but I can't organize my thoughts. I went to see a Broadway play and loved it, but just really hated myself for seeing it when there was so much work I had to do. I've decided I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm tired of not being able to breathe and get chest pains when I get stressed. Please help me.

1) How do you find time to be with your friends, family, and boyfriend, and study for school?

2) I'm a horrible procrastinator and time manager — in school, at work, cleaning my apartment, you name it, I'm somehow always putting it off until tomorrow, or taking forever to finish. Predictably, I keep missing the procrastination workshops offered at my school. Do you have any practical suggestions on time organization and overcoming procrastination habits?

I am a graduate student, doing very well in my coursework and research. However, I feel extreme anxiety in doing anything, e.g., starting a problem set, writing a program, etc. I wonder, what are the common causes of anxiety and what I may be suffering from. I would like to be calm and relaxed and not anxious and stressed. I know about meditations, etc., but what I would really like is some psychological insight.

What can you tell me about test-taking and mental block issues?

What can I do to get some support after an act of violence happened on-campus at my school (or off-campus, but to a student here)? I feel a little lost right now...