I enjoy performing cunnilingus on my girlfriend, and every so often, I get a sore throat. My question is, is it all right to perform cunnilingus on my girlfriend if I have a sore throat? Or is there a chance that whatever causing my throat discomfort could cause her trouble as well? Can the “giver” of oral sex pass along sore throat germs to the “receiver”?

My girlfriend and I have oral sex. I heard that if you blow in the vagina of a female that it could kill her. Is that true?

I have tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. My boyfriend has also tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. This a a long-term stable relationship. Neither of us has outbreaks very often.

Since this is a monogamous relationship, do we need to use any protection for genital or oral sex? I understand that we both have antibodies for 1 and 2 so I don't believe we can reinfect each other. However, when I consulted some doctors and sites, they suggested refraining from any sexual intimacy whenever one of us has an outbreak or feels an outbreak is about to happen.

My question is: if we both already have herpes 1 & 2 can we a) re-infect each other or b) cause either of us to have more outbreaks? Also, can we spread the virus to other locations on our own bodies?

Thanks, Alice. I hope you can help us.

I've noticed when I get highly sexually aroused, my fingers get numb, and so do my lips. Is this normal?

I have recently gone to a Planned Parenthood STD Clinic. From what they told me, they tested for everything "curable" (i.e., they did not test for HIV, genital warts, or herpes). I know where to get tested for HIV, but my question is: are there tests for herpes and genital warts? What are the odds of someone having herpes or genital warts and being asymptomatic? I plan to use a condom during intercourse regardless, but must I do the same for oral sex as well? Is there any way of knowing for sure if someone is clean of STDs?

If my husband takes antivirals or post-exposure prophylaxis can we still have sex with a condom and still complete the process like normal? It is affecting our sex life because he does not want to infect me. I don't want to be infected but I knew what I was getting into from the start. I might start PrEP as it is now available to me. What are your thoughts?

What is it that doctors are looking for in a urine test for STIs? How exactly do they test the urine for the various infections?

Thank you for your time and help.

I ended a relationship about a year ago. I have always seemed to have a yeast infection when I went to doctors before. In my relationship I had went to the doctors before because of discharge and just told them I didn’t need to really be looked at because I know what it is. Well at the end of my relationship I went to the doctor to get a whole check-up. Come to find out that what I thought was a yeast infection turned out to be trichomoniasis. I think I have had it for a couple of years now. I have gone to be treated for it two times. Each time it would go away and then come back. I was wondering if it was because I had it for such a long time?

1) It seems that I can't maintain an erection for more than a couple of minutes during intercourse. In fact, sometimes it doesn't seem to want to get up and play at all. The girlfriend is really starting to take this personally, but I know it's not her fault. Help! Are there any vitamins, diets, etc. that may help?

2) To put it very simply, I am having trouble having erections for a while now. I used to be able to. I can't have them at all, during intimate encounters or during masturbation. I get a little "hard" but cannot get completely hard. Could you please help me? Thank you!!

My roommate and I were wondering whether or not there was a difference in sleeping with a man with an uncircumcised penis or one that has been cut? My roommate's current boyfriend is uncircumcised and she has heard horror stories about sleeping with men that have uncircumcised penises.

1) Can you get AIDS from a mosquito bite? I heard you can't, but I'm really paranoid about this. Actually, it wasn't a bite — I squashed the bug and all the blood in it splattered everywhere and then here I am with someone's blood on a cut in my finger. HELP! I'm really freaking out. I don't know if I should get tested or not again, because I did get tested before (negative), but the anguish of waiting for results was horrible. Maybe I'm just ultra paranoid?

2) Is it possible to contract AIDS by handling raw bloody meat?

My friend had to have both of his testicles removed because of Testicular Torsion... will he be able to get an erection now?? What are the testicles for, anyway??

Is it possible to have too much sex? I didn't see any content on nymphomania. Could you please explain it? Is it considered a disease or something? I'm beginning to think it's a bad thing having too much sex, but it's difficult to consider giving it up; just a mini vacation seems forever and this is for both of us!

Dear Alice, 

I take Valtrex daily to protect me from cold sores I get on my face. I haven’t had one since I started taking it a few years ago. My partner gets cold sores on his mouth and has recently performed oral sex on me while having a cold sore. Will the daily Valtrex protect me from developing genital herpes? How will this affect me in the future?

1) I have recently discovered that I have what appear to be crabs in my pubic hair. They are itchy and annoying and appear to be laying eggs. How do I get rid of them?

2) I think I have pubic lice, a.k.a. "crabs." Do I need to see a doctor about this problem, or is there over-the-counter medication of some kind I can use to expel the little buggers from their new home? Also, I'm curious as to how I got them since I haven't had sex for several months and this is a recent development. Can one contract this problem from sharing clothing, towels, or bedclothes?

What are the risks of HIV infection for the passive partner of oral sex?

My question is about AIDS/HIV: I had a sexual affair that lasted two-and-a-half months, and, unfortunately, I was not using condoms. I happen to know nothing about my partner's previous sex life. I know that, for a test to show something, you must wait for six to nine months. I would like to know whether, provided that I am infected, I will experience any symptoms in this six to nine month period? Is it possible to have the virus and not have any symptoms or indications all this time? Right now, I am a graduate student and I am experiencing anxiety, fatigue, sleepiness, weight loss (three to five pounds in the last two months). Are these related to the disease, or is it just in my mind?

What are the signs of an advanced case of syphilis, say twelve years down the road? Is treatment still possible or is it too late? I have reason to believe that I've been infected that long, and denying it. Would I still be contagious? Would I have been after five years?

1) What are the symptoms of gonorrhea?

2) How long of a time frame could you have gonorrhea and not know it? The doctors say you can't track how long you have had it so how do we know? I feel my last partner gave it to me and that was nine months ago. Is that possible?

Thanks. I can't get much information in regards to this subject so I have no idea. And it can't be received from sitting on a toilet or anything of that sort, correct?

I am aware of the effects of HPV in women such as cervical cancer, but if there are no signs and symptoms how will a male know that he has HPV and how is it treated in men?

Just wondering what you could tell me about Hepatitis B. My mother was just recently diagnosed with it, so I'd like some more information about what it is, what it does, who gets it, and the like.

I got tested for HIV a year and a half ago. Since then, I've been with two other people. One guy was a virgin but we had unprotected sex sometimes. He was tested in December (after us being together for one year) and it came back negative. I'm afraid to get tested again because I heard that the guy I was with two years ago before I was tested is HIV positive. I was already tested after I heard this and it came back negative. But, people around campus just won't stopped talking and I'm starting to panic. So, I thought about doing an at-home test because I'm too scared to go to the clinic. I found an at home test that says that you can get at home results in 15 minutes.

It's called the HOME ACCESS and it says it's FDA-approved. Is this accurate? Also, I have another question: with the information I provided you, do you think I'm at risk?

My boyfriend claims he is HIV negative based on the fact that his blood donations have not been rejected. Is this a safe assumption? Is each and every pint of donated blood really tested for HIV and other blood-transmittable diseases? Do they really contact the donor if the blood is rejected because it tested positive for a blood-borne disease?

My best friend has AIDS and he's sexually active. He has unprotected sex with other men with HIV/AIDS. Should he use a condom instead or can does unprotected sex make no difference at all at this stage? Thank you.

First, I'd like to thank you for this service! It's been so informative to read the advice you've given others. I'm a female grad student and have just gotten into a relationship for the first time. I have a few questions regarding oral sex: my boyfriend loves to suck my nipples and I feel great when he's doing it, but after a while, my nipples start to feel tender and actually hurt sometimes... is this normal? He's not rough when he's doing it, so I'm not sure why this happens.

Also, when my boyfriend "goes down" on me, I worry about what he thinks of my smell and taste. He says he likes it, but I can't be sure... is there some way of finding out if my scent is normal? Can he pass any infections (to my vagina) from his saliva? (He has had only 1 one-night stand affair and he used a condom that time).

Also, I masturbate him (I stroke his penis) until he "comes," but I'm afraid of tasting his "come." He hasn't asked me to, but I think he would like it if I did... how can I overcome this inhibition? Are there any risks for me? I appreciate any help/advice... Thanks a lot!

I am 28 years old, and became sexually active two years ago. My husband is the only man I've ever had sex with, and I am his only sexual partner as well. Where does the gene or whatever it is that the HPV vaccine helps guard against come from? Because I'm too old to get the vaccine, are my chances of getting cervical cancer from this particular gene increased then? Thank you for your help.

1) What exactly is chlamydia? How is it transmitted? Can you get it through oral sex (man on woman)? How is it treated (especially in the case of males)?

2) Could you tell me about the symptoms of chlamydia and if one test is enough to detect that disease? Thank you.

I was just wondering about the difference in effectiveness between "ultra sensitive" and regular condoms. I imagine there is a greater chance of breakage with thin condoms, right? Sorry if this is a silly question, but for some reason, I thought I heard that there wasn't a significant difference.

I have talked to my doctor, to my local Planned Parenthood, and to the local health department. I have gotten the same story from all of them, that unless there are symptoms or a reason, one shouldn't have STD lab work done (or that there wasn't a 'routine' inclusive screen). It wasn't until recently that I discovered that a lot of STDs are asymptomatic. Are there 'routine' tests that should be performed for each of us (besides my normal annual)? If so, where can one go for this kind of testing and what should be tested for?

I have encountered a problem I never expected; my boyfriend is quite simply very large. I am unable to perform oral sex except for the first couple of inches due to the girth, and vaginal sex is not totally satisfying for him because he is too long and cannot fully penetrate without causing me significant pain. I've seen my doctor, and am reassured that there is physically nothing wrong with me — no infections or scarring, but am finding it difficult to come up with a solution. Any suggestions?

1) While I found a lot of info on oral sex and AIDS on this blissfully honest site, there didn't seem to be any info on "fingering" (not sure of the technical term?) a woman. I'm in a high risk AIDS country and recently "used my fingers" for a couple of minutes to delight a local woman who has turned out to be having her period. After noticing a considerable amount of bloody discharge, we stopped. But do I have a considerable AIDS risk? There were no cuts on the fingers I used but a small, possibly healed, cut on the thumb of the same hand. Break it down for me. I'm a bit on edge.

2) Can you contract HIV from anal fingering your partner if you had cuts/scratches on your fingers?

I have been thinking about getting tested for STIs for a while now but have been concerned with medical privacy policy. From the research I have done, I have not been able to find if I tested positive for an STI would I be referred to in name as a 'risk to public safety' or simply as a statistic. I know that this will be placed in my medical records and documented for the rest of my life. Will I have a label attached to my name for the rest of my life? Who will be notified if I do test positive for something like syphilis or herpes?

I once read an article stating the soy products (espcially soy milk) can lead to impotence within males if taken to a high degree. I go through random bouts in my life where I cut out cow milk completely and drink just soy milk for long periods of time (not because I'm lactose intolerant but for argued health benefits). I'm just wondering whether drinking strictly soy milk every day (at least 3 10-oz. glasses for me) is overkill.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for four weeks. He has told me all about his past relationships. Is it safe to stop using condoms now?

I'm 18 years old and have never had sex. But three years ago, I started masturbating. And this past week I have been having swelling in my vagina. You can't get any STD on your own, can you? I'm scared to go to the doctor because I don't want my Mom to know I have been doing this. Please respond.

Is it possible to get sick from oral sex, when your partner doesn't have any STD's? I've only ever had one partner, and recently I performed oral sex on him. Only ever since I have had a sore throat, and swollen glands. Is this related, or did I just pick up cold germs he was carrying?

1) Could you give me some information about frigidity?

2) What is "sexual apathy" exactly?

This might sound like a gross question, but I do need an answer! When my partner performs oral sex on me, I'm not sure if my vagina is moist because I'm wet or because I have vaginal discharge... which is what? Isn't it normal for a woman's vagina to be somewhat moist, and to have a little discharge? When a woman gets wet, how can she tell? And know the difference between that and discharge?

Also, my partner and I haven't tried intercourse yet (I am a virgin)... I've read your previous answer to a man who said his penis might be too big for his partner; I am worried that I'm too small/tight for my partner. It doesn't look easy for him to even enter, and I don't know how I can make my opening wider to accommodate him (how much foreplay, how long?). How much pain does the woman feel? Thanks a lot!!