1) Hi! I have a question about orgasms. I'm a female who has masturbated since her early teens and wonder if I've "overdone" it somewhat. I did it so frequently (sometimes every other day or so; sometimes I waited longer) that now that I'm in my early 20s, I find it harder to reach orgasm, and harder to have multiple orgasms (it used to come so easily to me). Have I "lost" that momentum? Can I regain it if, say, I stopped masturbating for several weeks or months?

Also, my partner stimulates me manually or with his tongue, and I haven't been able to "come" yet... is it because I've masturbated too much? Do women take longer to come? I think he gets bored doing it...

2) My boyfriend has trouble ejaculating, usually taking a long time. I was wondering if it could have to do with his constant masturbation during most of his young life. Could it be that the problem is me? Is there a possibility that we can improve the situation?

I know this sounds gross, but sometimes when I get turned on, I like to rub my "vaginal area" on a stuffed dog. After it, I feel good, but a few minutes later, some discharge comes out on my underwear. What's going on, and is this safe?

I've noticed when I get highly sexually aroused, my fingers get numb, and so do my lips. Is this normal?

I saw Ben Wa balls in a sex store and it says they improve sexual pleasure by improving vaginal tone and can even be worn during sex — is this true? Do they work and are they pleasurable?

If a woman doesn't come or have an orgasm, can her ovaries hurt just like a man's testicles can hurt if he doesn't come?

I would wish to know about the health implications of men using vibrators. I seem to have developed a fungus/mold. I would like to know more before a health check, approaching in complete ignorance. Thank you.

Since orgasms cause a release of endorphins into one's cerebral-spinal fluid and endorphins are also somewhat responsible for the emotion of happiness, etc., is it possible that excessive masturbation and/or intercourse would lead to a depleted level of endorphins in the system that could in turn cause one's affect to become somewhat "flat"? Could a sustained low level of endorphins in the system induce depression and/or mood disorder?

My wife and I had our first child last July. Until about 3 months ago, she was unable to reach orgasm at all. Of late, she has very small one's, but they don't seem to be getting much better. Prior to having the baby, she had strong, very quick (3-5 minutes) orgasms 90% of the time. I know the stress of being at work rather than home with the baby could play a part in this. Is this common and is there a way to mitigate the problem? 

My boyfriend recently told me that he rarely has orgasms when he ejaculates. I was aware that men could have orgasms without ejaculation, but I didn't think it worked the other way around. Are men more complicated than I thought?

Just wondering if Vaseline is an okay form of lubrication... I notice that the container says, "for external use only," but I am wondering if this includes vaginas! Thanks. You're hilarious.

I have started "cock-stuffing" in the past year or so. I use a glass thermometer and insert it into my urethra. I know that this is wildly dangerous — as the glass could break — but I thought it safer as it is manufactured very smoothly.

I know other men who use a variety of implements — pens, markers, tubes, etc., but I have only done it a few times — and it seems that the glass — while not safe as it could break — is safer as it must surely be smoother.

I use my own saliva as a lube — as I am not sure if a personal lubricant — i.e., Wet, KY jelly, or the like, is safe. Not that putting a piece of glass into your urethra is all that safe to start with.

My question — in the end — is personal lube okay to use? Is this a common fetish — I don't do it often — and it doesn't seem to affect me adversely afterwards.

Thank you for any light you can shed on this.

I was wondering what exactly a cock ring does? And has it been known to be effective at what it's supposed to do? I have seen them in several places and have been too shy to ask exactly what their purpose is.

1) My partner seemed to pass urine while ejaculating. Is this normal and what would be the cause of it?\

2) Every time I feel like I want to orgasm, I stop because it feels like I have to pee. I don't know if I have to pee or if I'm really having an orgasm. Please help.

What does one do when they are desensitized to their vibrator and need to check a consumer report before investing in a new one?

Do you and your husband both have to orgasm in order to get pregnant?

1) I'm not an inexperienced girl at masturbation. I've been doing it for a very long time, but actually only ever discovered what an orgasm was when I was 18 and got my first vibrator. This never bothered me because I wasn't sexually active then, but now it does. I realized I have NEVER been able to orgasm from physical touching or from just using fingers. I've always needed a vibrator of sorts and this is worrying me for future relationships and stuff with partners. How can I learn to orgasm from touch instead of vibration? I've tried before and have always just gotten frustrated or fallen asleep.

2) I've sorta been curious lately about what it feels like to do the big M using my fingers. I'm uncomfortable doing it though. I can't even use a tampon let alone do THAT with my fingers and I don't have anything that vibrates. What other options do I have?

I've heard through the grapevine that you can get an orgasm through your nipples. Is that true? If it is indeed possible, how would you go about it?

Can a lady actually get in the mood when breastfeeding?

Are there toys that guys can use for masturbation and how do they work?

When my girlfriend and I have sex, we almost always (nine times out of ten) orgasm within a few seconds of each other. Honest! This has been happening daily, with the exception of her periods, for about six months. We are both quite satisfied with each other as sexual partners. Are we an unusual couple? Thank you for your time.

Recently I have discovered if I change the settings on my shower head so the water pressure is harder and faster it works wonderfully as a tool for masturbation. My question is, is there any health risks for using water for self pleasure? My main concern is getting water in my vagina...could that cause issues? Thank you so much!

Recently there have been creams for women sold over-the-counter to improve sexual enjoyment for women. Are these lotions safe for women and the men who love them, and do they work? I am familiar with a particular lotion called "Viacreme."

My girlfriend and I like to drip hot candle wax on each other. Is that safe? Can there be any damage or anything? I wouldn't exactly want anything bad to happen to either of us down there... Thanks!

I was wondering about the effects of the birth control pill on orgasms. Any connection? Some friends have told me it makes things easier while some say it makes getting orgasms more difficult. What's the real story?

When was the first dildo invented and what was it originally used for?

When I masturbate, I can never achieve orgasm. I've never had an orgasm and I think I am not concentrating enough. After a while, it just gets annoying down there and I give up. Any tips on how I can concentrate more or what I should think about?

Is it true that a woman can have multiple orgasms?

My boyfriend and I have sex almost daily and I usually get on top so my clitoris is stimulated enough for me to climax. But I've noticed that when I come after having sex every single day my orgasm isn't as great as the day before. Can my clitoris desensitize from too much sex?

Thank You!!

Are there biological differences in orgasms between women and men?

My problem is about vaginal dryness. I am an otherwise healthy twenty-one-year-old female, but cannot seem to get wet enough for pleasurable sex with my husband. We both get sore afterwards and I feel like I am not "performing" much like I would imagine a man would feel if he couldn't get an erection. Here's the thing, my husband doesn't want me to use artificial lubricants. Honestly I don't either. Are there any alternatives to K-Y? Is dehydration or draining enough fluids a factor? Any info would be of much help. Thanks so much.

One question I keep looking for good advice on: what's the best way to clean a leather cat o'nine tails between uses, especially if it drew blood? I'm worried about HIV and Hepatitis, although there are probably other health risks involved, too. Anyway, thanks!

First let me just say how much I love your website and your terrific advice — it has saved me from a lot of embarrassing questions. LOL.

You see I am interested in buying a sex toy, preferably a penis sleeve or masturbator (for me to masturbate with). I have recently asked my mom about this and she does seem like it is open for discussion. The only thing is, she wants to know if the use of sex toys such as these (that vibrate or not) are safe and if I can damage my penis somehow or if there are any risks using these kinds of devices. I don't think there are any risks except for allergic reactions or not enough use of lubrication. But I am not sure. So please, please Alice, answer my question.

I'm sending you this message from the top of the Sierra Nevada mountains of California. My wife just experienced her best orgasm ever. We live by the beach, a very low altitude... so that made me wonder, although crazy, "Does altitude have any impact on sex?"

If it doesn't impact sex, it definately impacts the lube bottle as it came squirting out on it's own...

1) What is the best way to learn how to prolong male orgasm when having intercourse? It seems that I might get thirty seconds of penetration before I blow my top. I'd like it if I could enjoy the situation and add to my partner's pleasure by helping her orgasm.

2) I just wrote asking about how I might prolong my orgasm so that my girlfriend might be able to reach hers. I've read through your archives extensively, so I've seen all the "orgasm is personal and shouldn't be concentrated on" so I've seen that and whatever. I just want one issue discussed: how to prolong MYSELF to please her. I'm looking for answers such as: exercises, workouts, diets, surgery (jk). Please help me please her.

I was wondering if it were possible for a man to tell if a woman has had an orgasm. If so, how noticeable is it to a man and is there a substantial amount of fluid involved in a woman's orgasm?

1) I know this may seem like a strange question, but what exactly IS pre-orgasmic? Does it mean that a person hasn't yet had an orgasm, or that her body isn't ready yet? I remember reading in one of your answers that many women under the age of twenty are pre-orgasmic. Why is this? Also, what is/are the purpose(s) (besides pleasure) of orgasm in women?

2) Hi, I'm not from the USA, so you may call me "the foreigner boy." I'm a 20-year-old male... I have had a lovely, nice, 19-year-old girlfriend for the past two years and I love her very much! We've started making love after six months of being together. We’ve had oral sex since the very beginning of the relationship. My girlfriend was a virgin before we met and me too. The problem is this: She never reaches orgasm! We really did try it all... it's very disturbing because she doesn't understand why I think it’s a BIG DEAL! And I really want her to have orgasms, but she just can't reach it... We really did try it ALL!

She tried to masturbate alone a few times and still had the same feeling... It’s not that she doesn't have fun, but she never really reaches the Peak! It seems as if she is stopping herself from having orgasm. Any secret I haven't read or heard about could be helpful! Thank you for your time!