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Should I smoke?

Hi! Your site is very helpful. I have a few friends who smoke. We are friends since the past four years; they started smoking about a year ago. They tell me to smoke, I don't do it, so they call me a jerk. I have never TOUCHED a cigarette in my life.

Should I smoke?

If I smoke one cigarette about once a week, will it harm me in any way?

Will it make me a chain smoker?

Which is the safest brand of cigarette, health wise?

Topics:

Substance Use and Recovery Relationships

How can I have fun without drugs?

I think it would be a good idea for me to stop smoking marijuana and cut down on my drinking, at least during the school year. The problem is, I have been doing it for so long it is almost as though I have forgotten how to have fun without it. Contributing to this problem is the fact that many of my friends smoke or drink to have fun. Many of my other friends just do not seem to have fun at all; they stay in Friday and Saturday nights to do work. I've found it difficult to quit, I think because I'm just not sure of what's out there to do that's fun without being stoned or drunk. Can you recommend anything that's fun whether you're intoxicated or sober, so that I don't have to stop hanging out with certain friends if I want to relax and have fun? I want to finally enjoy life without relying on an altered state of consciousness. What's there to do when you're sick of renting movies? Also, any tips for resisting the urge to take people up on their offer to toke up? (I'm never pressured into it, but it's like the dieter who's offered some chocolate cake — it's there, it looks sooo good, and the fact that other people are doing it makes it seem more "okay.") Thanks so much.

Topics:

Substance Use and Recovery Relationships

Can I hang with younger students?

I am over 26 years old but I still am an undergraduate student. I find myself constantly hanging out with people much younger than I am and I sometimes feel out of place. Is it wrong to hangout with a younger college crowd?

Topics:

Relationships

How can I handle all my friends dumping their problems on me?

I'm the peacemaker among my friends, the introverted listener. But lately I find myself dealing with my friends and their problems more than ever. The problems drift from abuse in their homes, relationship problems, suicide, and MORE! It seems like I'm walking around with the weight of the world on my shoulders — literally, and its making me dive headfirst into depression. Don't get me wrong, I like being trusted and thought wise for advice I give, but sometimes I know I'm just being used, and all I need to do is listen. But I also feel helpless towards many of the situations, example, drug abuse or violence in their homes. They're expecting my help most of the time! I can't suggest counselors, because it's un-thought of here, my friends usually have been to more than their fair share in their years, and it flat out doesn't work. Our school counselors are bogus, teachers really don't listen, and I'm a small girl who can't necessarily take on the world!! On top of trying to help friends of mine (close and not-to-close) I've got my own problems too! It's insane.

Topics:

Mental and Emotional Health Relationships

How can I get my girlfriend to swallow?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, and I love her very much. We have a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship, and we communicate well. Recently, I told her of my fantasy of her performing oral sex on me and swallowing my sperm. She said that would be "gross," and has never brought me to climax during oral sex because she does not want me to come in her mouth. I perform oral sex for her, and I enjoy having her sexual fluids on my face and tasting them. We have discussed sexual fantasies before and have pleased each other very much. But she will still not accept my sperm in her mouth, and I feel like she does not want to accept a part of me into her body -- that she does not have the fullest desire to please me. When I first asked her to do it, I expected her to want to pleasure me, to have desire for my penis. Now, I feel like she thinks my body is not desirable. My question is: what must I do or say to make her change her mind, to make her understand how much I wish she'd do this?

Topics:

Relationships Sexual and Reproductive Health

Can I use ice cubes to improve oral sex?

I see that in several messages and answers, that reference is made to oral sex accompanied by the use of ice cubes. I'm pretty ignorant about this and would be very grateful to you if you would tell me more about this. My boyfriend and I have a very good sex life and we enjoy making love, but we're also on the look-out for new things to try. I've asked my friends about this and some of them thought it was a joke! Thanks for the help.

Topics:

Sexual and Reproductive Health

How can I get over my hosting anxiety when my friends come to town?

I am a New Yorker who is in college at the moment. Several of my friends from school are living and working in the city this summer, and I love having them around. Whenever I make plans with them, though, I feel a great pressure to make sure they have a good time. As the person who knows New York best (the subway, good restaurants, etc.), I feel like it is my responsibility to make plans and decisions when we go out, and I feel inordinately guilty or embarrassed if the plans ever go awry (e.g., if I mistake the address of a bar, if a restaurant turns out to be unexpectedly expensive, or even if the local subway line unexpectedly switches to the express — things that are often totally out of my control). I know this is silly; my friends can clearly take care of themselves, and I know they don't depend on me for fun. But the pressure that I create for myself is detracting from my own enjoyment. How can I stop holding myself to these absurd expectations and just enjoy myself?

Topics:

Mental and Emotional Health Relationships
Showing 21 - 30 of 81 results

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