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Why am I having sex dreams about my dad?

I am having these really weird dreams. They start off with me flirting with an older gentleman and then it evolves quickly into heated sexual passion. The thing that is really disgusting about it is that the older gentlemen switches personalities from random strangers inevitably into my father. I'm really upset about this whole "Electra-complex" thing and it rudes me out. I always wake up when it starts getting too heated and then I feel really ashamed for having dreamt it.

I have a good relationship with my father, although sometimes I wish that he would pay more attention to other aspects of my life other than my schooling and career. Is there something wrong with me? I am happy in my relationship with my boyfriend, I have lots of friends who care about me, I'm doing very well in school, etc., but I don't know why these dreams are happening all of a sudden. PLEASE HELP! Where can I go to seek more answers?

Maybe I should also tell you that my boyfriend and I are very good friends and I love him to death, but sometimes the sexual spark isn't there as it was with prior boyfriends. I don't know if this is because we have been together for so long (about 5 years) or if I've just gotten old and crotchety, but then where do these dreams fit in?


Is it safe to chew and spit out food?

I have been chewing and spitting large amounts of food (pretty much always sweet stuff — pastries, chocolate, etc.) almost every night for eight or nine months. I am eating a healthy, balanced diet otherwise, maybe a little on the lower caloric side (1300 to 1500 calories per day). My chewing and spitting sessions usually follow a balanced meal. I know this is a type of eating disorder. I have done a lot of research online and I know that there are side effects, although they vary depending on who you ask. Some sites mention that chewing and spitting activates the release of insulin and results in hyperinsulinemia, insulin resistance and weight gain. Is this true? How long would it take to develop these problems? Are these reversible if I were to stop this behavior?


How can I tell my religious parents that I'm a lesbian without them disowning me?

I have a question that I am very afraid to ask anyone else. I am a 21-year-old college student who has been in a three year lesbian relationship with my college roommate. We are both deeply in love with each other and when it came time to tell her parents about our relationship, they were very supportive of our decision. My parents, on the other hand, are a different story. I was brought up in a very strict Roman Catholic family, where homosexuality is very much frowned upon. How can I tell my parents that I am a lesbian and make them understand without disowning me?


Is fear of dietary fat considered an eating disorder?

Are there other types of eating disorders other than anorexia and bulimia? For example, I have this fear of unnecessary fat in food and eat everything "plain," that is, without butter, oil, dressing, or sauce, etc. I thought that it's good that I'm this health conscious, but my friends say that it's a little obsessive. Is this an eating disorder?


What can I do if my parents don't believe I'm bi?

I came out recently to my parents as being bisexual. They were surprised, as expected, but they didn't believe me! They said it's "not normal for someone to suddenly change their orientation." But it wasn't sudden — I've known for a while! What should I tell them?


Can being hospitalized for anorexia be helpful for recovery?

I am a freshman in college and I also happen to be anorexic. I have been to the medical services on campus and I am going to be attending the eating disorders group at my university. I also have been seeing an individual therapist for three years, but my weight is pretty bad right now. The doctor who has been keeping tabs on me says that I am very close to my “critical weight.” My therapist and I have discussed hospitalization ad-nauseam, but he's really not in favor of it, saying that hardly anything can be accomplished in a one month stay (which is basically all insurance companies allow for nowadays). He also said that the whole system is like a “revolving door” because people typically go back to their “old” behaviors one to two days after their discharge. However, I feel like the hospital might be the best place for me right now. My parents also are kind-of against the hospital. I really don't know what to do because my gut feelings so contradict my parents and partially my therapist. Also, what is the relapse rate of anorexics after they are released from the hospital? Is there any info on that?


Why do I choose not to eat?

I really hope you can help me. I'm 21 years old and never had any problems with eating. At 18, I sunk into a very deep depression and since then my eating has not been the same. It started slowly, where I would just skip a meal every now and then, but now I sometimes choose to go for days without eating and it's not because I want to lose weight, even though I have lost quite a bit, I just feel like I can't change anything in my life. I love my friends and I always have a great time with them, but at the same time, I find it so much easier to not eat when with them. That's what I can't understand. Why, if I feel happy around my friends, do I still choose not to eat? I went for almost a week without eating when I was away with them. For some bizarre reason, I feel better about my life when I stick to my decision to not do something, but at the same time, I want to stop, but I'm afraid I'll get really depressed. It doesn't really hurt me, but my friends harass me and I can't help them to understand when I don't even understand. Why am I doing this??


How can I stop binge eating?

I suffer from overeating constantly and binge eating. I've gained a considerable amount of weight and have tried to get my eating under control as a result, but when I try to stick to a diet, all I think about is food. I can't stop thinking about food until I eat something; when I try to ignore it, the urge doesn't go away. It's hard to think about anything else, so I usually give in. I feel out of control, like food controls my life, and like I'll never get my weight down to a weight I'm comfortable with. I don't have health insurance, so I can't get psychotherapy. How can I get my eating under control? Do you know of any free accessible resources I can use like books or websites that would be helpful?


If I'm recovering from anorexia, when should I expect to get my period back?

I was anorexic for three years and I have been in recovery for two. At the moment, I am doing well. I have a healthy weight, I eat a balanced diet, I work out regularly though not excessively, and I feel good. However, I haven't had my period in about three years now. I had been told it would come back once I reached a healthy weight, but so far, no deal, even though I've been at this weight for over a year now.

Before I became anorexic, I did get my period regularly. I am 23 years old. I am taking a calcium supplement daily to prevent osteoporosis, but I would feel more comfortable if I did get my period again. What is going on? How worried should I be? Should I go see a doctor? What can I do about this?


How can I deal with disapproval of my interracial relationship?

My question is about interracial relationships. I came here from a really small town, very conservative — well, you get the idea. Now, my second week in, I met the most wonderful man. Only he is black. We have been dating now for over a year. He treats me wonderfully but I still get odd looks from people and my parents really don't approve.

I told them it shouldn't matter what color his skin is if I love him, but their small town values seem to say otherwise. How can I cope with the odd looks and my parents without losing my man?


Where can I find support as an adult child of an alcoholic?

1) Are there any adult children of alcoholics groups on campus?

2) My father is an alcoholic and I've been told that I should stay away from drinking altogether. I'm a freshman this year and it seems like most of my friends always want to go to keg parties or hang out and drink. Sometimes I drink with them, but then I feel guilty and worried afterwards as I think about my dad. It's hard to avoid alcohol here, but I don't want to follow in my father's footsteps either. Any advice or support you can give would help. Thanks.


Why do I pull my hair out as a form of self punishment?

Ever since I was in junior high, I have been pulling out my hair. I can remember not being able to pull my hair into a ponytail because the hair at the nape of my neck wouldn't reach. I still have this awful and shameful habit. I don't see it so much as just a habit, like the way one might bite one's nails, it's more like an obsession. I'll just sit and stare into space and pull clumps of hair out of my head. I remember having seen a program on T.V. which dealt with this habit as a medical problem that is curable with medication. Unlike the men and women represented on this program, I am not stripping myself bald — yet. I tend to consider it a form of self-punishment, perhaps. Just to give you some background information, I have a tendency towards bulimia (cycles of bulimia occur when my depression is at its worst) and am in general not a happy camper. What can you tell me about this?


What should I do if my religious parents find out I'm changing faiths?

I need some good advice. All my life, I've been raised as a Catholic. Both my parents are fairly religious, but I have completely lost interest in Catholicism as a religion because I feel it does nothing for me but preach and tell me how to live my life. It has now gotten to the point that I have become very interested in alternative religions, so much so that I want to change faiths. However, I'm terrified my parents will find out. What should I do?


How to gain weight while recovering from bulimia?

I was bulimic for about four or five months and went from 5'6.5" at 115 pounds to 95 pounds. I have not told anyone, and will not, so please don't ask me to, but I am back up to 110 to 112 pounds and pretty much graze throughout the day so I don't throw up. I mostly snack on white bread, fruit, potatoes, and cereal in large portions, but want to stop and eat a healthy, more balanced diet. The problem is, I am not sure what a healthy weight should be. Charts say I am too skinny, but I don't believe it because I know girls in the media are thinner than me and they seem fine. I want to be as small a weight as possible without being unhealthy. I skipped my period for three months but did get it in January. I have not lost any weight since then though, and I should have gotten my period about a week ago but didn't. I don't understand, it is so confusing, can you help me?


What can I do about my food issues, exercise compulsion, and loss of bladder control?

Last year I was Teetering on the Brink and this year I've fallen off of it. The teetering individual who was worried about how much she thought about food and her weight has turned into a very scared person who has fallen off the brink, with little on her mind but what she eats, when she eats it, and how she looks. I haven't had my period for almost a year and exercise compulsively until I can't anymore, when my legs simply hurt so bad and my knees won't hold me up. Worse, I seem to be losing bladder control — several times when I've been very tired, I've wet the bed at night or been unable to wait until I got to a bathroom. I can't live like this anymore and every morning I promise myself I'm going to change but then night rolls around and I've not changed a thing. Please tell me something that will help — I never knew desperation's face was this thin.


How can I help a roommate with an eating disorder?

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?


Can I get over my food aversions?

I have a very strong aversion to certain food textures such as potato (mashed, chipped, roasted, etc.), that causes me to gag violently. I am 22 years old and have a BMI of 16 which I blame in part to my very unbalanced diet. I am constantly lethargic but am eating three good portion meals a day. I was wondering if there was a way to get over this sensitivity as I am eating cereal without milk every morning, plain pasta for lunch and a pizza for dinner every day, I am looking to be a lot healthier with my life.


How can I learn how to recover from my eating disorder?

I have been bulimic for six years now. I have tried so many times to quit, but I always fail. When I eat I feel guilty about it sooo much that it is impossible not to purge. I feel so helpless. My boyfriend walked in on me the other day, and the look on his face broke my heart. I REALLY want to recover, but I need help. And I have no idea where to go. I will be a starting college this September, but I don't want to wait that long. I want help now.


How can I tell my mom about my boyfriend and birth control?

I am 18 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years. I love him very much! Well we started sleeping together when I was 16! I love him very much! I even recently got put on birth control! My family is very religious, but I want to tell my mother about us and don't know how. Can you help??


Should I get serious with someone from a different background?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He is perfect for me, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, and we really love each other. The problem is that we have really different backgrounds socially and economically.

I have the more traditional family, parents married for 26 years and we're blessed enough to be financially very well off. However, his family has had lots of problems financially. In addition, his father isn’t financially responsible and he cheated on his mother. Besides that, we are different ethnicities.

My parents tell me that I can't be serious about him — they are afraid that his problems with his family will become my problems when we get married. Also, I can't communicate with his parents since they don't speak English very well. Over the past few months I've become increasingly irritated at his family. I have expressed to him that I don't know if we can really become serious because I don't want to deal with his family in the future. Am I overreacting?? I love him so much, but I feel like I can't marry him because of his background. What should I do? Am I blowing his background out of proportion in regards to a possible future together?


Why am I still having trouble dealing with my parent's divorce?

I have been going through emotional problems lately. I have been crying a lot and thinking about my mom and dad's divorce and how I want them together. I don't understand why now, after all these years, it is bothering me. It has never bothered me till this past school year and nothing has happened in school either.

I keep thinking about how I will never know how it was to live with both my parents. On Christmas, I kept thinking about how I really only had one true Christmas with both of them together and I don't even remember it. People always say the younger the child is when parents get a divorce, the easier it is on a child, but for some reason, that's not true for me because I missed out on it all! All my friends have at least experienced their parents together, and I haven't and never will. They get along fine so it's not like they fight. I haven't told anyone about this and it is getting to the point I can't keep it to myself and can't stop crying. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know why it is bothering me twelve years after they got a divorce and how I can get it to go away. Please help.


If my partner lives with bulimia, what can I do to help her and myself?

I just found out that my wife of five years is bulimic. I don't know how I should feel or what I should do. I feel like it is my fault but my wife tells me that she has had this problem for over ten years. I am torn between my emotions, I love her dearly and wish to help but I feel like she has hidden this from me and I don't know about this. How can I help and who can I talk to? My wife told me that I should be supported but not to ask her too many questions. What should I do?


How can I visit a gyno without my parents finding out I've had sex?

I recently had sex with a guy, and now I suffer extreme vaginal itching and white cottage cheese-ish discharge. This is driving me crazy! I'm afraid it might be Cervicitis, but I'm not sure. Also, I can't ask my parents to take me to a doctor because there is no way I'm telling them I've had sex! Is this even sex-related? PLEASE answer my question because I'm tired of sleepless nights worrying what this is. Please respond! Thank you so much!


How can I help loved ones who have bulimia?

1) I've recently just found out that my boyfriend of four years is bulimic... He hasn't told me, but I have put the puzzle pieces together after living with him for the past 18 months... I had even heard him purging in the bathroom while we were on vacation. I'm really struggling with this information and I don't know how to approach him about it... I'm guessing it has been going on for around six years now. How do I confront him about it??

2) I was wondering if bulimics lose weight rapidly, because I have a friend who I think may be bulimic, because she eats, but I think she may be throwing up her food. She has lost 25 pounds in the last month. She binges, and I would like to know how I can help her.


Am I anorexic if I can never decide what to eat?

I have a problem with food. I hate it and never know what I want to eat. Sometimes I'll be famished to the point of shaking, and I'll just lie there thinking about what to put into my body, sometimes for hours. I know I should eat something, and I really am hungry, but at the same time, nothing appeals to me. Is this a form of anorexia? Or could it be a symptom of stress, depression, etc.? I would really appreciate it if you could help me.


Is it weird that I'm attracted to people older than me?

For some reason I'm only attracted men who are about ten years older than I am (currently 21). I drive my poor mother crazy, but whenever I try to date someone my own age I end up finding them naive, too eager, and/or boring.

My last boyfriend was a med school student, he and I were together for a little under two years and he's nine years older. My boyfriend now is an economist, ten years older. I mean to say that these guys are not dumb or unsuccessful, and it's not just about sex. It feels natural for me to be with someone older.

Am I just a pervert, or should my mother be more understanding? Or both?


Do I have bulimia and will it interfere with my birth control pills?

Once a day, after meals — whenever my roommate isn't around, I stick my fingers down my throat and throw up most of the food that I had just eaten. I do not binge — I only purge. I understand from my Psychology professor that the diagnosis of bulimia nervosa requires that the person binge and then purge. I am curious, then, what I have — do I have a form of anorexia nervosa or what? Also, I am on birth control pills and I am afraid that I might hurt their effect by throwing up. How long does it take for the pill to get absorbed into my system? I usually don't throw up until about 5 or six hours after I have taken the pill. Will this hurt the effect of the pill?


Is diabulimia a risky weight management strategy for type 1 diabetics?

I recently read an article in a magazine regarding a new disorder termed "Diabulimia." Supposedly, this is a disorder displayed by women with type 1 diabetes in order to lose weight. The women with type 1 diabetes, who take insulin shots, compared these shots to "injectable fat" and therefore they skip their shots all together.

The reason why this topic is so surprising to me is because I am a type 1 diabetic and have been for almost 17 years and I have gained weight since beginning treatment. What happens to the body when this occurs? Also, if a person tries to treat the "diabulimia," will all the weight that was lost be gained right back when she begins to inject the shots again? What other method of losing weight would you suggest for someone like this? I would never risk my life in order to lose weight, but I would still like to learn about it because it is something I have never heard of. Thank you so much!


Am I bulimic, or is it just a phase?

I am a college freshman and I think I'm on my way to becoming bulimic. Since my junior year of high school, I have periodically binged and tried to purge, but I was never really successful and it was never frequent. My senior year I made myself semi-successfully throw up for the first time, but it was gross and scary and made my throat bleed and I stopped. However, since I've gotten to school this year, I feel like things have gotten out of control. I started out eating healthfully and losing weight, because I am about 15 pounds overweight and need to make a lower weight class for my sport. (I am at a high level and compete internationally.) I'm also terrified of the "freshman fifteen" since I've always been chubby at the least. I couldn't keep up my healthy eating and snapped, and now I binge all the time and for the past few weeks have been throwing up. I think I could stop but I'm not sure. Am I bulimic or just going through typical freshman food phase?

Thanks for any advice.


How do I begin to talk with my children about sex?

I have three young daughters (ages 8, 6, and 3 years), and I know that it is about time to begin teaching them and talking to them about sexual issues. But my mother never talked to me about such things, so I really don't know where to begin. I do need to do it soon, though, because I was molested as a child and I don't want my girls to go through the same thing, you know, thinking they have no one to talk to about such things. Because my Mother never believed me when I told her that someone had molested me, I want my girls to be able to talk to me about anything. But I am very shy and easily embarrassed by certain issues, such as sex. How can I overcome this, and how do I spark a conversation about sex with a six-year-old, what should or shouldn't she know, and how can I explain things so she will understand? Same thing for the three-year-old.


How do I define my sexuality and tell my parents about my transgender partner?

I am a girl, in love with a transgender guy. He was born with the wrong parts, but is truly the kindest person I have ever met. I love him very much, but I am afraid to tell my parents. "Adam" may have been born a female, but he is now a male, and is planing on getting surgery to prove it. My parents are Christians, and I'm not sure they will approve of him. Does me liking Adam, and female to male transgender people, make me a lesbian? Or bi-sexual? My parents deeply disagree with these things and I am afraid to talk to them about Adam.


Why did my father abandon me?

My father left my mother before I was born. They had a good relationship and were happy, but then my mom became pregnant with me. She had trouble telling my father, who was only eighteen at the time, and said she didn't expect him to play a role in my life. So, he left.

I've never seen him or spoken to him in my life. I have no idea what he looks like or who he is and he seems to have no desire to have anything at all to do with me. In fact, he ditched town the day after he found out. I'm mad... I'm mad at my mother for making it so easy for him to leave and I hate that man for what he did. I'm still young and even I can't imagine deserting a child and leaving them without a parent for their entire life. But then maybe that's because I know how it feels and I would never put anyone through that kind of pain. As a girl, I suppose it's hard to understand. Perhaps you can help me to understand his reasoning?