Showing 1 - 42 of 42 results

What should I do if I'm attracted to someone besides my boyfriend?

I have been dating a guy for well over a year-and-a-half, and we really enjoy each other's companionship. We have a great friendship and a great sex life. The problem is that I am finding myself attracted to another person. I think this other person has a girlfriend. Furthermore, I don't want to have a relationship with this other person — it's just that I find myself dreaming about kissing him because he is so attractive. I know I'm crazy because everything is great in my relationship and people envy the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I just can't get this guy off my mind. What should I do?


Can I donate a kidney to my friend?

I just found out that a friend requires a kidney transplant. I've heard that we are all equipped with two kidneys and can live with just one. How do I find out if I can donate a kidney? What's involved in a kidney donation? Thanks!


Should I get the meningitis vaccine?

1) I'm a college student and I've heard in the media that meningitis vaccine shots are recommended. How do I get more information and a shot?

2) As a parent of a college freshman this fall, I was concerned about the increasing publicity that Meningitis has received recently over the networks. Since the population most likely to be infected includes young adults living in close quarters, do you recommend vaccination and where is it available?


Why is mpox being spoken about as if it's a gay STD?

So I'm wondering some stuff about mpox. Why is mpox being spoken about as if it's a gay STD? Mpox can be spread through nonsexual contact and fomite transmission, according to health authorities, and many other diseases such as the flu and corona can be obviously spread through sexual intercourse (via close contact). Additionally, according to the CDC, Ebola can be spread through semen of a previously infected male a while after recovery while not symptomatic (which appears to be unlike mpox in which it's only spread while actively symptomatic and, although mpox is extremely severe, it doesn't last for more than several weeks) but Ebola isn't thought of as a STD (and of course Ebola can obviously be spread through nonsexual as well as sexual contact) just like corona and the flu among many other diseases. Yet mpox is basically now thought of as being a STD — and a gay STD at that — whereas other diseases that also spread through nonsexual means like mpox aren't. This is very concerning to me both because it would be contributing to ineffective containment measures which would let mpox continue spreading and because it could lead to an increase in discrimination against an already marginalized demographic. What's going on here?


Will I ever find a gay partner?

I've been gay all of my life, and until just now, I've learned to accept it. I've told all my friends that I am gay. Some of them didn't like that, and now they're not my friends. None of my other friends are gay, which was a disappointment because I had a crush on one of them. Now I don't know what to do because not only do I not know who else is gay, but I don't have the courage to ask someone out. I'm afraid that if I can't ask someone out by the time I'm out of college, I'll never be able to have a relationship. I don't want to have to resort to online dating either. I want to know how I can overcome my fear.


How can I stop seeking sexual attention?

I am afraid my need for sexual attention is getting out of hand. The past several weekends I have wound up kissing guys in bars, and I find myself less interested in flirting or having interesting conversations with them than I am in getting that rush of meeting someone new. This weekend I had sex with a guy I had just met in a bar and I have no idea why. Making matters worse is that he was much younger than I am and I don't think we had anything in common whatsoever. I feel like I am devaluing myself and I don't want to lose my self-respect. How can I find the cause of my behavior and how can I stop?


What's up with FluMist?

I have heard numerous reports in the media where they make mention of the "live flu virus" in the flu vaccine, specifically "flu-mist." This is mentioned in conjunction with a warning to avoid contact with this and that (yadda, yadda) for a certain time period. This confuses me. I was under the impression that the flu vaccines contain dead viruses and that it was not possible to catch the flu from the vaccine. Which is it?


Why do nice guys always finish last?

Just a quick question: why is it that nice guys always finish last? I've tried being nice all my life (nineteen years) to women, yet I get nothing. Yet if some guy who treats them really badly comes in, they're the ones who end up with a girlfriend — and me with squat. What's the deal?!


How can I start practicing meditation, yoga, or tai-chi?

Recently I've been thinking a lot about ways to relieve my stress and other mental problems such as OCD and ADD and I have been hearing that meditation, yoga, tai-chi, etc. can possilby help with these problems that I have been suffering with all my life, but I am very confused as to which one would be the best for me.

Also, if I find out which one would work the best for me, how would I go about finding someone that could teach me these things? Or is a book a good way to go? If a book is a good way to go would you suggest one of those "The Complete Idiot's Guide to..." books?


Is my hair addicted to dandruff shampoos?

I have dandruff that responds well to over-the-counter shampoo. Ergo, I have been using the stuff almost exclusively for ten years. No brand in particular, sometimes zinc pyrithione (the blue stuff!), sometimes coal tar (the smelly brown stuff!). Anytime I switch to non-dandruff shampoo for like three to four days straight, I get my dandruff back. I worry that I might be addicted to dandruff shampoo. Should I worry?


Was this a one night stand or more?

My friend and I went to a male strip club last Saturday. One of which caught my eye. I would have chickened out if the guy we were with hadn't gone over to him and brought him back. We talked for a while and then went back to my friend's house — I was so attracted to this guy I could have died. We started to fool around and things got heavy so he went out to the store (CONDOMS, CONDOMS, CONDOMS!!!).

He seemed very sensitive in the way he acted, letting me know that it would go only as far as I wanted it to, afterwards asking me about how I was doing, how I was feeling — he even started cooking the next morning. After breakfast, though, things got a little weird when he expressed that he wanted to see me again and I took his number, but didn't give him mine. Of course, I also told him that I'm living with a guy who I've been going out with, but that I am moving out in the next month — I felt that I'd better be honest...

How seriously should I take this guy? How much of what he told me should I believe? Do you think that this guy just has sex and moves on? I didn't initiate the subject of seeing him again, although I would totally be into that. How should I handle the subject of the guy I live with??? HELP!!!


How can I get over fear of rejection in romantic pursuits?

I am an undergrad who knows many people at my school. Interestingly enough while I am a very outgoing person and a very self-confident person, I am very shy when it comes to initiating a relationship. I know that I simply am afraid of the big "R" (rejection). I know that this is normal, but I feel that my fear is possibly causing me to miss out on a chance of having a good relationship.

I have been asked out a few times this year, but the guys did not interest me at all (one was divorced with two kids, the others I found nice but dull). All my friends are male, and I talk to them about my problems, but it hasn't helped at all. How can I gain self-confidence in the area of romance (I don't have a problem once I am in a relationship), and why is it that all my friends are males? Am I seen always as the sister or mother type? (Don't get me wrong, I am not interested romantically in any of my friends.)


How can I tell the girl I've been hooking up with that I just want to be friends?

I'm a 25 year-old guy, average looking, and I think I have a normal personality. I met this very nice and pretty girl a little more than a month ago. Almost since the beginning, all she wants to do is go to bed and make love. This was great in the beginning, but, you and some guys out there may think I am crazy, I am starting to get worn out. I like her very much and we get along great in bed, but I want to date her just like my friends date their girlfriends, although my friends tell me they wish they had my problem.

Anyway, when I suggest going out, she shrugs her shoulders and says that she likes to be in bed with me. I'm sure that you get a lot of inquiries about how to move a friendship over to bed. Can you give me some advice about how to move the bed over to a friendship?


What should I do if I'm interested in my nurse practitioner?

I am a graduate student and have been using Health Services for a number of years. On recent visits, I couldn't help but notice a certain nurse practitioner on whom I now have a big crush (pardon the school-kid terminology). On my last visit through walk-in, luck would have it that I got this person to treat me (a random happening--I didn't choose it in any way). I felt somewhat awkward during the visit, yet happy to see this person. Nonetheless, I realize that this is not an ideal state of affairs, but I don't know how to handle it. I am due to return to this same N.P. for follow-up.

Should I tell this person that I feel awkward receiving medical treatment from someone I would rather be dating, or should I just make an appointment with another person? Would it be possible to seek medical attention from this person after letting them know how I feel? If I do end my medical relationship with this person, how would I begin a different one? There don't seem to be many occasions when students and the Health Service staff interact outside a medical setting. I would hate to pass up the possibility of meeting that someone special due to professional constraints that would not hold had we met under different circumstances.


How can I start dating?

I am beginning my sophomore year in college. Last year, I was disappointed to not become friendly with any women. I have been back a week and I'm looking to turn my situation around. I would like to start dating once and for all. Any suggestions?


How can I find someone who understands my sobriety?

I am an ex-hardcore drug user — speed and cocaine to heroin — with 25 months of sobriety from drugs and alcohol. Now that I do not go out to clubs or party, I am finding difficulty in relationships.

Women do not understand why I do not drink. When they ask, I tell them where drugs and alcohol have gotten me in the past. This always seems to scare them off.

I feel guilty not telling them that I used to be an intravenous drug user, but when they ask about the tattoo on my arm that symbolizes a promise to myself never to inject again. I am honest about what it stands for. I never shared needles, I have been tested for AIDS/Hep-C and all of the tests have returned negative.

I am having difficulty finding someone that understands.


What can I do if I have no time for a social life?

I am a 22-year-old male grad student, now starting my second semester at in graduate school. I have been doing very well academically, but my studies and my work-study job leave me absolutely no time for a social life! I have not been on a date since I got here; though I meet a lot of interesting people, and am in the habit of collecting their phone numbers. However, I can never seem to find any time to spend with them. Sometimes this really depresses me. I have noticed that I have lately been smoking much more heavily than I used to.


How can I find a girlfriend?

I am a college grad who has always had trouble finding a girl to have a romantic relationship with. I have had only one real relationship during my junior year in college and it ended before the point in which we would have had sex. (Alas, I am still a virgin!). The other day my older brother (by one year) and I were talking about this and he advised me to be more aggressive. (I am admittedly somewhat shy). However, I fear that it may be something more basic than that. I used to not think that my brother was that much better looking than me but seeing girls walk across a crowded room to talk to him on more than one occasion while I stood right beside and watched has changed my mind and affected the confidence I have in myself. I'm starting to realize that all the girls I am interested in don't see me as attractive. Without even asking, I can see it in their eyes: "Let's just be friends." If my problem is lack of physical charms maybe I should set my sights lower.

What do you think??


Is what I'm experiencing a urinary tract infection?

I think I may have some kind of urinary tract infection. It came on very suddenly, about three nights ago. And when I pee, there is a burning sensation when my bladder has almost emptied. It's not an STD because I'm in a monogamous relationship, and yes, I'm sure! Please help. Thank you.


How can I have a relationship that's not just based on sex?

I've had a great time at college, but all my relationships have been based on one thing... sex. Sometimes it is all that I want, but sometimes it is all that she wants. Any suggestions on how to find a "nice girl," just to have a good honest relationship with? I'm a model so I don't have problems meeting girls, just keeping them! I am also a very nice person, concerned with nature and I could never hurt a person's feelings if I tried. This leads to problems, however, because it is hard for me to "make my move" for fear of upsetting the girl. I have never been turned down for a first date — plenty of second dates though, but only because I make sure before the first date, through a friend, that there is an interest. If any of this makes any sense, give me a write!


How can I blow my nose better?

1) You know when you get a cold and you have to blow your nose a lot and it gets all sore from rubbing it over and over again with a Kleenex? Do you know of any kind of cream or something that you can put on your nose to help soothe the soreness caused by frequent nose blowing? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

2) I am a 16 year old girl who isn't very good at blowing her nose. I can blow the air down hard enough, but nobody has ever taught me a good technique for a proper clear-out. What is the best way to hold your nose in the tissue to get a really good nose-blow? How would you recommend I try to blow my nose?


Am I ready to start dating a new guy?

I have recently started seeing this man who I think is adorable and things are going really well. My last relationship was a three year nightmare that ended a long time before I finally broke it off. Everyone keeps saying to follow the rules and take it slow and to be careful because I am on the rebound and it is too soon to get involved. How can I know if what I am feeling is right and if I should just go with the flow? I am still feeling so new at all this stuff and I am often very scared to get hurt again. Please give me some of your expert advice!


What can I do if eczema creams aren't working?

In a recent question about abnormal hair-growth, the writer mentioned a long history of hydrocortisone use as a means of treating eczema. I too have a long history of severely uncomfortable and troubling eczema. During the worst outbreaks, I have visited several different dermatologists, and all have prescribed topical hydrocortisones, such as Hytone or Topicort, as well as anti-itching pills, such as Atarax. One prescribed Diprolene ointment, which I used for a year, until my next dermatologist dismissively told me it was far too strong and could be damaging.

I would like to know once and for all how damaging the extensive and long-term use of any of these creams is. Please give me one of your straightforward answers; I have been frustrated by the differing views and lack of concern among the dermatologists I have visited. I am tired of being told it is "just eczema." I already use the gentlest cleansing products available, tons of moisturizing cream, rinse all my clothes twice, wear soft fabrics, etc. I am still absolutely tortured by itching, often resorting to scratching at my skin with a hairbrush. The eczema reappears without fail in the same places, even on my face, and is particularly bad after stress periods, when I absolutely cannot control my itching or scratching. Isn't there anyone anywhere doing research on this? Is there anything else I can try? I am not averse to vitamin, holistic, or homeopathic therapies, if there are any. Please help. This is really a very ugly and upsetting problem.


Where to meet fellow grad students

1) I am 24 and just started a part time Masters' program. My last relationship was two years ago and I find it pretty difficult at my age to meet respectable guys. I enjoy the bar scene with friends, but don't find that it's very easy to meet good people there.

Anyway, do you have any suggestions as to where to meet decent men at my school and in my age group?

2) As an incoming grad student, I have a rather obvious question, which is something troubling lots of people here, I'm sure. Since we rarely have any academic contacts outside our own departments, where on campus are the best places and/or methods to meet women? It is a little too pretentious to just start talking to them out of nowhere....


Is it possible to be afraid of being raped if I’ve never had sex?

Sometimes I think what it would be like to be with a man, romantically. I am a single woman, and have never had any relationships. Sometimes, though, when I am imagining what it could be like, it turns violent on me, in my mind, and I always end up being raped. This makes me apprehensive and scared of ever becoming involved with anyone. I am scared that everyone I meet will do this to me. I think that it wouldn't be too bad to be single for the rest of my life, but I want to be loved, to be held. What do you think?


How do I navigate a friends with benefits relationship?

1) You have so much information and advice for those who want to start, maintain, or end a relationship; but then there are people like me. I have no desire to be in a relationship with anyone. I'm a full time student, I work two jobs, and I like hanging out with my friends and family when I do have spare time. I'm not interested in the feelings, emotions, and time it takes to be in a relationship. Basically, I'll have sex with anyone before I even think about holding their hand. Then afterwards, the guy will usually end up getting his feelings hurt because I don't want to date him. Is there anything strange or unhealthy about this??

2) I have a good guy friend, and we were talking about friends with benefits. We said how sometimes you want the relationship, but then sometimes not. Then we were talking about how if you want just the perks without the ties, then why not with someone you know and trust. I asked him if he was looking at someone in particular, and he said no, and he asked me and I said not really. The dilemma is that I want to go that step with him. I want to become friends with benefits. But I'm afraid that if I talk to him about it, he'll freak out and reject the idea and I'll lose a friend. I don't know if he would really react that way, but I'm just afraid. We both seem to be looking for the same things and I've been feeling like this for a while now... Should I talk to him about it or just forget about it?


Should a younger man have sex with an older woman?

All my friends are always telling me that I should try having sex with a girl who is ten years older than me. I am 22 years old and my sexual partners have always been my own age or even a few years younger than me. Personally, I don't fancy the thought of going to bed with an older woman, even though my friends tell me that I would learn a lot and would enjoy the experience. What do you think? I really can't bring myself to have sex with an older person. Am I abnormal or do you think I am right? Have you ever come across this type of problem before and, if so, what have you advised the people to do?