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Why am I having sex dreams about my dad?

I am having these really weird dreams. They start off with me flirting with an older gentleman and then it evolves quickly into heated sexual passion. The thing that is really disgusting about it is that the older gentlemen switches personalities from random strangers inevitably into my father. I'm really upset about this whole "Electra-complex" thing and it rudes me out. I always wake up when it starts getting too heated and then I feel really ashamed for having dreamt it.

I have a good relationship with my father, although sometimes I wish that he would pay more attention to other aspects of my life other than my schooling and career. Is there something wrong with me? I am happy in my relationship with my boyfriend, I have lots of friends who care about me, I'm doing very well in school, etc., but I don't know why these dreams are happening all of a sudden. PLEASE HELP! Where can I go to seek more answers?

Maybe I should also tell you that my boyfriend and I are very good friends and I love him to death, but sometimes the sexual spark isn't there as it was with prior boyfriends. I don't know if this is because we have been together for so long (about 5 years) or if I've just gotten old and crotchety, but then where do these dreams fit in?


How can I tell my religious parents that I'm a lesbian without them disowning me?

I have a question that I am very afraid to ask anyone else. I am a 21-year-old college student who has been in a three year lesbian relationship with my college roommate. We are both deeply in love with each other and when it came time to tell her parents about our relationship, they were very supportive of our decision. My parents, on the other hand, are a different story. I was brought up in a very strict Roman Catholic family, where homosexuality is very much frowned upon. How can I tell my parents that I am a lesbian and make them understand without disowning me?


Is anal sex okay if I'm in remission from Crohn’s?

I have had Crohn's disease for 16 years and am in remission right now. Recently my boyfriend and I have been toying with the idea of anal sex, but I'm concerned about it given my health issues. I have a lot of thickening of the terminal ileum walls and worry that the "trauma" of anal sex could set off a flare up and be painful because of the narrowing. Any thoughts? I'm way too embarrassed to discuss this with my male doctor. Thanks!


What can I do if my parents don't believe I'm bi?

I came out recently to my parents as being bisexual. They were surprised, as expected, but they didn't believe me! They said it's "not normal for someone to suddenly change their orientation." But it wasn't sudden — I've known for a while! What should I tell them?


Why do I have allergies after moving to a new place?

I relocated to a new area within the past six months. Since then, I have been experiencing congestion in the morning and pressure in my sinus area, such as stuffed nose and difficulty breathing, at night when I lay on my back and in the morning. Although I do not have a cold, I seem to always have a small amount of drainage on a daily basis. Within the past week, I am sneezing quite a bit in the mornings and at night, my eyes are so itchy I can't help but rub them to a nice shade of red. I have never had allergies before, just for your info. Thanks for any tips.


What are my chances of getting cancer if I have high-risk HPV?

I just found out I tested positive for high-risk HPV. My pap smears have been normal for years. I'm 45 years old and have had lots of basal cell skin cancer. I'm scared to death of getting cancers that are caused by HPV. I'm so stressed. What are the odds that I will actually get cancer, now that I am supposedly high-risk? It appears there it nothing I can do at all to prevent this from happening other than keeping up with my visits and pap smears and hoping I beat the odds. I just wonder at how much risk am I when they say I am HIGH-RISK???


What's polycystic ovary syndrome?

1) This is in reference to your Missed periods Q&A. Another cause of missed or late periods is PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). A lot of health care providers don't seem to be aware of this syndrome. In this syndrome, missed or irregular periods are caused by unusual hormone levels, sometimes in combination with insulin intolerance. Because missed and irregular periods cause scar tissue build-up in the uterus (which may cause endometrial cancer) and may cause infertility, it is important that your readers know to ask their health care provider about this syndrome. There are obviously other symptoms and complications, but I just thought that I might mention it to you so that you might read up on it for your readers. Thank you.

2) I was recently diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). I'm only 17 and am afraid that this will affect my chance of having children. Should I worry? Also, I know birth control pills will help me regulate my period, but if I take them, will it stop the effects PCOS has on me? Like me gaining rapid weight, missed periods, and losing my hair? This is really worrying me. Can you inform me on this syndrome?


How do I talk about ableism without losing friends?

I have an invisible disability and I'm really getting into disabilities activism. Even in liberal circles ableism is still pretty accepted and this upsets me. However, when I try to educate people around me, it sometimes goes awry. I had one friend get upset when I called her out for using the word "retard." Another got upset when I pointed out that her Facebook post of inspirational people with disabilities (that just showed people with disabilities doing normal things) was a little offensive and tried to tell her about "inspiration porn." I get that using the word "retard" is normal as is "inspiration porn." I just don't think it should be.

I know my friends are caring, socially conscious people. I expect people to be a little upset, but ultimately I would also expect them respect the fact that it's really not OK to objectify people with disabilities in the way that inspiration porn and the use of words like "retard" do. What I want to know is how do I point out that people are expressing a harmful social bias, without having them get so upset that they write me off as an over sensitive concern troll?


How can I deal with disapproval of my interracial relationship?

My question is about interracial relationships. I came here from a really small town, very conservative — well, you get the idea. Now, my second week in, I met the most wonderful man. Only he is black. We have been dating now for over a year. He treats me wonderfully but I still get odd looks from people and my parents really don't approve.

I told them it shouldn't matter what color his skin is if I love him, but their small town values seem to say otherwise. How can I cope with the odd looks and my parents without losing my man?


Is sunscreen necessary for dark skin?

I am African-American, but my skin is not that dark. I was never told that I needed sunscreen and when I worked in a daycare I was told in a very delicate manner that only the paler children needed sunscreen. I've been out in the sun for extended periods of time and was wondering if sunscreen is necessary for someone of my complexion. If so, what strength?


Does being a lightweight drinker have anything to do with my liver?

Does the classification of a "lightweight" with regard to alcohol consumption imply anything about the liver? In particular, is there anything abnormal about feeling tipsy after only one beer (vital stats = 155 lbs., 6 ft.). I know my family has a history of liver problems and I have in the past drank to excess on many occasions. It has never taken much to become inebriated and now it takes even a little less. Should I be worried?


Will starting and stopping the pill increase my risk for cancer?

I have been on the pill for over a year now. Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. We still see each other, but I have not had sex since we broke up. I don't plan on having sex with anybody else. My question is, if I don't plan on having sex for a long while, should I stop the pill? I am afraid that if I decide to get back on the pill, I will have an increased risk of cancer or something like that. Is this true?


Where can I find support as an adult child of an alcoholic?

1) Are there any adult children of alcoholics groups on campus?

2) My father is an alcoholic and I've been told that I should stay away from drinking altogether. I'm a freshman this year and it seems like most of my friends always want to go to keg parties or hang out and drink. Sometimes I drink with them, but then I feel guilty and worried afterwards as I think about my dad. It's hard to avoid alcohol here, but I don't want to follow in my father's footsteps either. Any advice or support you can give would help. Thanks.


What should I do if my religious parents find out I'm changing faiths?

I need some good advice. All my life, I've been raised as a Catholic. Both my parents are fairly religious, but I have completely lost interest in Catholicism as a religion because I feel it does nothing for me but preach and tell me how to live my life. It has now gotten to the point that I have become very interested in alternative religions, so much so that I want to change faiths. However, I'm terrified my parents will find out. What should I do?


How can I cope with recovery after cancer treatments?

A loved one of mine had a double mastectomy due to a rapid growing breast cancer, chemotherapy, and radiation. She is in her early 30s. She is a year out from treatment/surgery and suffers daily with aches and pains. She also has lymphedema in her right arm, which doesn't help with her discomfort. She feels pain in her joints, sometimes her back, she gets headaches, she is often fatigued, and she feels sick a lot. She's forgotten what it feels like to have her body feel good. Is this normal? She definitely has depression due to this and often thinks she will get cancer back somewhere else. It's been two years since her diagnosis and she has not felt a day of no pain and or sickness. I want to give her some good feedback, some light at the end of the tunnel so to speak (without using that phrase) to help her get through it. The doctors aren't too helpful. Mostly they want her to take more pills, which are becoming the size of a meal. She refuses to take the pills that are anti hormonal. I don't blame her; she can't handle the menopausal symptoms they give her on top of everything else. She is active and often just pretends to feel ok for others sake. She also eats well with a low salt diet to help the fluid in her arm. Should there, or will there be relief after undergoing so much stress on ones body?


Do I have a milk allergy or am I lactose intolerant?

This may sound like a dumb question... But I really am unsure. What is the difference between a milk allergy and lactose intolerance? Or are they one in the same? I was in an accident when I was 14. I had emergency surgery on my liver and spleen. After about the age of 20, I have developed severe mad dashes to the restroom after eating anything dairy.

But I have a lot of sinus allergies... that seem to flare up after eating milk products. Although generally milk products do cause thickening of the mucus... I was wondering if severe congestion also goes with it? I no longer eat milk products, of course. But I recently read about a child with a milk allergy who could not breathe through his nose afterward... accompanied by severe coughing. I am now 40 and learned my lesson well... But still curious and always looking for additional info and answers!!


How can I tell my mom about my boyfriend and birth control?

I am 18 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years. I love him very much! Well we started sleeping together when I was 16! I love him very much! I even recently got put on birth control! My family is very religious, but I want to tell my mother about us and don't know how. Can you help??


Should I get serious with someone from a different background?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He is perfect for me, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, and we really love each other. The problem is that we have really different backgrounds socially and economically.

I have the more traditional family, parents married for 26 years and we're blessed enough to be financially very well off. However, his family has had lots of problems financially. In addition, his father isn’t financially responsible and he cheated on his mother. Besides that, we are different ethnicities.

My parents tell me that I can't be serious about him — they are afraid that his problems with his family will become my problems when we get married. Also, I can't communicate with his parents since they don't speak English very well. Over the past few months I've become increasingly irritated at his family. I have expressed to him that I don't know if we can really become serious because I don't want to deal with his family in the future. Am I overreacting?? I love him so much, but I feel like I can't marry him because of his background. What should I do? Am I blowing his background out of proportion in regards to a possible future together?


Why does my face look permanently sunburnt?

What is wrong with my face? It permanently looks sunburnt across my nose, cheeks and on my chin. Sometimes it appears worse than others. It is hot to touch and often bleeds. Typical rosacea treatments do not improve the redness or pain. I'm overweight but otherwise healthy. Thanks!


Why am I still having trouble dealing with my parent's divorce?

I have been going through emotional problems lately. I have been crying a lot and thinking about my mom and dad's divorce and how I want them together. I don't understand why now, after all these years, it is bothering me. It has never bothered me till this past school year and nothing has happened in school either.

I keep thinking about how I will never know how it was to live with both my parents. On Christmas, I kept thinking about how I really only had one true Christmas with both of them together and I don't even remember it. People always say the younger the child is when parents get a divorce, the easier it is on a child, but for some reason, that's not true for me because I missed out on it all! All my friends have at least experienced their parents together, and I haven't and never will. They get along fine so it's not like they fight. I haven't told anyone about this and it is getting to the point I can't keep it to myself and can't stop crying. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know why it is bothering me twelve years after they got a divorce and how I can get it to go away. Please help.


Is it bad to crack my back if I have scoliosis?

I just was diagnosed with minor scoliosis. I am 38 years old (today!). I do yoga and while at a retreat, was told by the instructor that it looked like I had a little scoliosis on the right side. I crack my back, neck, and so on. I mainly do this on my right side (the side I have minor scoliosis). I feel very tight if I don't do it, and feel better afterwards, but I just know it's wrong. I don't know if my cracking my back is worse with this problem, or if I do it because of this problem. I have tried to stop, but even when I stop for a short period of time (month), my right shoulder "pops" (not snaps or cracks like when I do it intentionally while doing certain activities, like push ups or bench press (and it will happen over and over). This also occurs on my right hip when I do things, such as leg lifts. What do you think? Will this possibly go away if I stop or are they not related?


How can I visit a gyno without my parents finding out I've had sex?

I recently had sex with a guy, and now I suffer extreme vaginal itching and white cottage cheese-ish discharge. This is driving me crazy! I'm afraid it might be Cervicitis, but I'm not sure. Also, I can't ask my parents to take me to a doctor because there is no way I'm telling them I've had sex! Is this even sex-related? PLEASE answer my question because I'm tired of sleepless nights worrying what this is. Please respond! Thank you so much!


How can I live with fishy body odor (trimethylaminuria)?

After many years of confusion, I have been diagnosed with trimethylaminuria. It is an awful disease that has caused much emotional pain in my life. I was hoping that if the disease was discussed on your site that people's awareness may increase and perhaps people would not be quite so quick to judge others. I would appreciate it if you could post my message for this reason. Also, if the disease is caused by the lack of a certain hormone in my body, then would an injection of this hormone be a possible solution? In all of my research, I have not seen this discussed.


Is it weird that I'm attracted to people older than me?

For some reason I'm only attracted men who are about ten years older than I am (currently 21). I drive my poor mother crazy, but whenever I try to date someone my own age I end up finding them naive, too eager, and/or boring.

My last boyfriend was a med school student, he and I were together for a little under two years and he's nine years older. My boyfriend now is an economist, ten years older. I mean to say that these guys are not dumb or unsuccessful, and it's not just about sex. It feels natural for me to be with someone older.

Am I just a pervert, or should my mother be more understanding? Or both?


What’s up with the acid in my throat?

1) I have had acid coming up my throat from my stomach for the last 3 weeks. It comes up and just burns my throat. What is it? Do I have an ulcer? By the way, I get 3 hours of sleep a night, and my roommate doesn't help the situation.

2) I have recently asked you about my would be ulcer. I shall pose the question again. Lately I have this damn acid coming up my throat. I've been under a lot of stress and have strange sleeping habits. I am also drinking a lot of coffee. I drink about 5 cups of coffee a day and my roommate isn't exactly stress relieving. I go to bed about 3:30am and wake up about 5:45am for crew. Am I dying? Do I have an ulcer? What's wrong with me?


Is diabulimia a risky weight management strategy for type 1 diabetics?

I recently read an article in a magazine regarding a new disorder termed "Diabulimia." Supposedly, this is a disorder displayed by women with type 1 diabetes in order to lose weight. The women with type 1 diabetes, who take insulin shots, compared these shots to "injectable fat" and therefore they skip their shots all together.

The reason why this topic is so surprising to me is because I am a type 1 diabetic and have been for almost 17 years and I have gained weight since beginning treatment. What happens to the body when this occurs? Also, if a person tries to treat the "diabulimia," will all the weight that was lost be gained right back when she begins to inject the shots again? What other method of losing weight would you suggest for someone like this? I would never risk my life in order to lose weight, but I would still like to learn about it because it is something I have never heard of. Thank you so much!


Will living in New York City make my asthma worse?

I desperately want to attend school in NYC, but have one reservation. I'm asthmatic and I'm afraid that my asthma will be worse in a big city. I traveled to NYC for a week this summer and was fine, but have heard it could be worse in the winter. Can you advise me? I so don't want to let my asthma limit my dream of going to school in NYC.


How do I begin to talk with my children about sex?

I have three young daughters (ages 8, 6, and 3 years), and I know that it is about time to begin teaching them and talking to them about sexual issues. But my mother never talked to me about such things, so I really don't know where to begin. I do need to do it soon, though, because I was molested as a child and I don't want my girls to go through the same thing, you know, thinking they have no one to talk to about such things. Because my Mother never believed me when I told her that someone had molested me, I want my girls to be able to talk to me about anything. But I am very shy and easily embarrassed by certain issues, such as sex. How can I overcome this, and how do I spark a conversation about sex with a six-year-old, what should or shouldn't she know, and how can I explain things so she will understand? Same thing for the three-year-old.