Are there resources for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse and incest?

I am a male survivor of childhood (homo)sexual abuse and incest. I have recently stopped my horribly abusive alcohol and drug habits and am having to deal more with my issues now that I'm not using "painkillers." I'm worried that if I don't do something soon, I might be miserable for the rest of my life and may never be able to have a relationship or even sex. I am very hurt by the fact that there are no resources on campus for male survivors. All the groups are for women, as if male survivors don't exist. Anyways, please refer me to any resources you are aware of in NYC. Thanks.


How can I help my friend who's in an abusive relationship?

My best friend is in an abusive relationship! And he knows this! He married his wife about a year ago, when she was 19 and he was 21. And since then, she's verbally abused him, hit him, and even broke down their door once to get to him when he had locked himself in his room. But he refuses to do anything about it, since he "loves her so much." I hate seeing him like this. I'm worried about him. He's been physically hurt by her a lot. And while he can hold his own without getting seriously injured, it's painful to see. He calls me a lot, feeling upset about what she's done... I'm so worried about him.

He's told me he knows she's abusive, and that he wants to take her to marriage counseling... but I know that won't help. I don't want to sound biased, but she's very close minded and I know she won't listen to any counselor. But he "loves her so much" and "doesn't believe in divorce". What can I do to help him?


What should I do about my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend who won't go away?

What should I do about my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend? Their friendship is getting out of hand. He is consistently telling her how regretful it is for him and he wants her back badly. He would go out of his way to see and to talk to her. This is affecting my relationship. It is affecting my girlfriend emotionally. This has been going on for four years. I met my girlfriend two years after their break up. He is now more persistent than ever.


Am I bi, gay, pansexual, or something else?

I don't like to be considered gay nor bisexual, and I identified as pansexual for a bit, until I found out that pansexuality is sexual expression of all kinds. I want to know what I am. I don't like labels and I think that everyone and anyone can fall in love with anyone else of any gender; therefore I believe that there is no such thing as sexual orientations. What is a word for that?


What should I do to reconnect with distant boyfriend?

I wanted to ask you a question that I can’t even answer myself. Well, I have a boyfriend and we’ve been together for seven months now. We both love each other so much and I always make sure he knows that. I do everything for him: cook, clean, wash clothes, practically everything to make him happy. He used to be really loving with me. I mean, he still is, but I feel as if he’s changed in some way. Before, we used to be able to tackle our problems and if we argued, we would sit down and fix the problem. Now, he just ignores it and leaves, and smokes his weed. What’s your advice?


How can I continue in my relationship after my girlfriend cheated?

I am in a long distance relationship and my girlfriend recently admitted that she had cheated on me. She said, and I believe her, that she really loves me and that this was a mistake she regrets. However, I can't take it out of my mind and forget about it. I am angry that she ruined the purity of our love story. It feels like it's no longer "a dream come true" — merely a watered down version of it because it is no longer "flawless." I feel like a pushover for not doing anything about it. (I'm really in love with her and I can't bring myself to break up just for that.) How can I forgive her? Will I always keep these poisonous thought inside? How can I prevent this from shadowing every aspect of our relationship? Am I "selling short" and blind to her untrustworthiness? How can I trust her again?


Can I talk about my relationship in therapy without my girlfriend getting uncomfortable?

My partner gets nervous every time I see my psychotherapist because she doesn't like the idea of me talking about our relationship. For her, it's anxiety-producing because she fears there are things I tell my therapist that I don't tell her. For me, it's anxiety-producing because I feel like my therapy sessions should be a safe and confidential space for me and because I feel like having that space has made our relationship better overall. How can I assuage her fears and anxieties without feeling like I have to, a) tell her everything I say in therapy, or b) lie and say that she doesn't come up?