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Why does my boyfriend want to wait until marriage?

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a year and a half now. He makes me happy most of the time that we are together! We share almost everything in common. Except one thing, SEX! We have discussed the subject numerous times. He tells me that he loves me very deeply and I tell him that that makes me the happiest woman in the world. However, he says that we should wait until we are married. The problem is that I want to show him my feelings by giving up my virginity to him now, the one true love of my life, and he still says that we should wait.

My question is this: Is he cheating on me, or does he really love me enough to wait until the night of our wedding so that it will be more special?


What's a normal age to start having sex?

Dear Alice,

As a bisexual young woman, I find myself thinking about both men and women, though my sexual fantasies more commonly involve other females. This has led me to wonder several things: At what age would it be appropriate to begin exploring sexual experiences with a trusted partner? I feel emotionally ready for this step now, but I'm questioning whether these feelings are normal for someone my age. I'm also curious about the relative safety of different sexual encounters - would it be safer to experiment with women rather than men when first becoming sexually active?


Am I anorexic if I can never decide what to eat?

I have a problem with food. I hate it and never know what I want to eat. Sometimes I'll be famished to the point of shaking, and I'll just lie there thinking about what to put into my body, sometimes for hours. I know I should eat something, and I really am hungry, but at the same time, nothing appeals to me. Is this a form of anorexia? Or could it be a symptom of stress, depression, etc.? I would really appreciate it if you could help me.


Is it ok to use stimulant drugs to study?

1) I have a large amount of course work, which is combined with a job and extra-curriculars, and while I want to succeed in all of them, I find that I simply don't have enough time, even though I currently sleep only 4 or 5 hours a night. I mentioned this to a group of my friends here at school, and it turns out they all take stimulants to help them manage jam-packed undergraduate life. The pills are called ADDERALL and PROVIGIL. I have acquired some for myself, but before I take them, could you tell me if either has serious health risks? I do not have any other health problems or take any other medications. A few of my friends tell me that they sometimes stay awake for as long as 3 or 4 days. If it is reasonably safe, that would be great! Thank you.

2) Given the fact that this is a top-notch school, it's total hoo-ha that you haven't included any info on all the non-hard core, but still illegal, "study stimulants." Is all this ADDERALL gonna do me permanent damage or what?


How can I help my partner when she has a panic attack?

I need some information about panic attacks. My partner moved with me to NY and, at the time of moving, experienced several attacks of extreme fear.

This has paralyzed her to the extent that she no longer goes to work, her career is on hold, and she requires help traveling, if she travels at all. As well as being incredibly distressing for her, it's not helping our relationship either.

My question relates to my role in helping her recover from this. At present I frequently "overlook" the problem by going everywhere with her and being as supportive as possible. Am I an "enabler"? Should I make her "tough it out," or will she just get better?


If someone's sexually adventurous, does that mean they're more likely to cheat?

If my wife is sexually adventurous, does it mean she's more likely to cheat? My wife is slowly opening up to me about how sexually adventurous she wants to be (I'm talking bondage-type stuff), and I'm afraid that maybe she might cheat in the future if her "appetite" isn't met. I haven't voiced any of these concerns, I've been completely supportive of it and actually would be completely ok with doing all of it. I just worry that maybe the adventure-ness might be a sign of promiscuity?


Is it safe to chew and spit out food?

I have been chewing and spitting large amounts of food (pretty much always sweet stuff — pastries, chocolate, etc.) almost every night for eight or nine months. I am eating a healthy, balanced diet otherwise, maybe a little on the lower caloric side (1300 to 1500 calories per day). My chewing and spitting sessions usually follow a balanced meal. I know this is a type of eating disorder. I have done a lot of research online and I know that there are side effects, although they vary depending on who you ask. Some sites mention that chewing and spitting activates the release of insulin and results in hyperinsulinemia, insulin resistance and weight gain. Is this true? How long would it take to develop these problems? Are these reversible if I were to stop this behavior?


How can I get over my boyfriend using porn magazines?

So my problem is that recently (about 6 months ago) I discovered that my boyfriend keeps pornographic magazines. We have been going out for 6 years. Much of that has been long-distance, but we have lived together for the last year. This discovery blew me away in part because until then my only complaint about our relationship was the fact that he didn't want sex nearly as often as I did — so now I'm angry that while I was feeling less than satisfied, physically, he was masturbating, and leaving me out in the cold. Since then, I've also noticed that he only wants to have sex after he's spent some time with his mags.

Given that I am horrified by the mere existence of this kind of material — I'm not going to get into a debate about its legality, but I truly believe it is exploitation worse than slavery. Given this, is there any way to work things out with him? In short, how far am I supposed to stretch my ethics, just because part of me believes that sexually, each of us is free to do what we want??