I've seen you have given so much great advice in the past I was hoping you could give me some. I always use a condom when I have sex. I don't seem to last as long as I want to. I was thinking of trying one of those gels or creams that make you last longer. Is this stuff safe to use with a condom? Could it possibly break down the condom, causing it to fail? Thanks for any help, Alice.

What are the signs of an advanced case of syphilis, say twelve years down the road? Is treatment still possible or is it too late? I have reason to believe that I've been infected that long, and denying it. Would I still be contagious? Would I have been after five years?

I have always been attracted to men, and have only been with men. I am currently happily engaged to a man, and have no doubts about our relationship. However, I've discovered over the past couple of years (even when I was with my previous boyfriend) that I do not like porn with men in it. I like lesbian porn! And anytime I've masturbated I've fantasized about women (never one that I know or have seen.) It's made me very uncomfortable, finally admitting it to myself. I do remember when I was in 7th grade there was a new girl at our school. When she got a boyfriend I was very jealous; I just assumed it was because she was new and I didn't have all her attention *ha* Is this normal? Am I out of my mind!?

1) Both you and the Columbia AIDS manual note that the risk of AIDS transmission by unprotected cunnilingus is less (at least when the woman's not having her period) than via unprotected anal/vaginal intercourse. What I'd like to know is, how much less? Are there any statistics? Are there any documented cases of AIDS being spread this way? If so, how often does it seem to occur? It's difficult to know whether it makes sense to take my chances unless I know what the chances are.

Also, both you and the manual say transmission can't occur without contact with a mucous membrane. I have another AIDS brochure that says there's at least a small chance the virus could pass through tears around the cuticles of the hand. Is this the case, and if so, how great a risk is there in putting your fingers in somebody's vagina or anus for extended periods?

2) What are the risks of HIV infection for the passive partner of oral sex?

One question I keep looking for good advice on: what's the best way to clean a leather cat o'nine tails between uses, especially if it drew blood? I'm worried about HIV and Hepatitis, although there are probably other health risks involved, too. Anyway, thanks!

Just wondering if Vaseline is an okay form of lubrication... I notice that the container says, "for external use only," but I am wondering if this includes vaginas! Thanks. You're hilarious.