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What can I do if I'm experiencing an aversion to sex with my long-term partner?

I've been with my boyfriend for just over 4 years. Our sex life has always been the strong thread in our relationship, even when we've had trouble in other areas. We both feel we are the best sexual matches we've ever had. But over the past 8 months things have slowly degraded on my end. He is still as excited as ever, but I just don't feel like it. When we try, I actually feel physically protective, as if blocking my body from a stranger, especially my breasts. It's like a physical compulsion to protect, but neither of us have a history of abuse in our relationship or outside of it, and his approach is loving and open. When he's clothed and we're not about to have sex I love holding him, being held by him, standing next to him, touching him, etc. I'm not physically repulsed by his body: I recognize that he's a ridiculously attractive man! I had some advice that I shouldn't force myself to have sex if I don't want to, but I've also heard the opposite: that I should stop thinking and just push through my body's shutdown. Most of the times when I do force myself I end up enjoying it, but that doesn't take away this "repulsion" feeling at the start. The worst thing is that he feels rejected and dissatisfied and keeps asking what he can do to turn me on. What to do?


If I don't take birth control pills at exactly the same time am I unprotected?

I have two questions, first: On my birth control pill box instructions it says to take a pill each day at ABOUT the same time. I was wondering, does this mean that I should set an alarm to make sure I take it the exact minute every day (which is what I've been doing) or can I take it within a couple of hours difference if I decide to sleep in on Saturday?

Secondly: My doctor told me that if I miss a pill to consider myself unprotected for that month. However, after I left I realized that in biology class we learned that a ovum (or egg) can only survive a few days inside the fallopian tubes and uterus and then it get absorbed into the body (or dies). If I missed a pill then wouldn't I only be unprotected for the next couple of days (if an egg was produced in the 24 hr period that I didn't take the pill) instead of the whole month?


Is my vegetarian diet making me feel tired?

I am a vegetarian and frequently feel like it takes a long time to "wake up" in the morning and some days I feel like I never quite get there. I can't help but think this may be diet related. I went to a doctor for a test for anemia which was negative and I always try to get a good nights' sleep (six to eight hours). In the past I have tried to gain weight and failed miserably. I remain a little underweight but get a good deal of exercise each day. Any ideas?


Do whitening toothpastes work?

So far I have been extremely impressed by your service. I trust you with a question which I know many people share: Are whitening toothpastes detrimental to the longevity of one's teeth?


Pride flag with stethoscope

Gender Affirming Care: Surgical

Gender-affirming care (GAC) is an umbrella term for health care that aims to help a transgender or gender diverse person’s body better align with their gender identity. You might seek out GAC if you experience gender incongruence—when the gender you identify with conflicts with the sex you were assigned at birth. There are many different forms of GAC, including both lifestyle changes and medical interventions. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)—the organization often recognized as the gold standard for GAC— outline guiding recommendations for GAC. Additionally, it’s helpful to keep in mind that medical transition isn’t necessary to identify as transgender or gender diverse.

View Resource Gender Affirming Care: Surgical
Health care provider with stethoscope holding heart shape with transgender flag colors

Gender Affirming Care: Non-surgical

irming care (GAC) is an umbrella term for health care that aims to help a transgender or gender diverse person’s body better align with their gender identity. You might seek out GAC if you experience gender incongruence—the state in which the gender you identify with conflicts with the sex you were assigned at birth. There are many different forms of GAC, including both lifestyle changes and medical interventions. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)—the organization often recognized as the gold standard for GAC— outline guiding recommendations for GAC. Additionally, it’s helpful to keep in mind that medical transition isn’t necessary to identify as transgender or gender diverse.

View Resource Gender Affirming Care: Non-surgical
Two characters talking with floating trans flag hearts

Transgender Health and Wellness Recommendations

Health guidelines for transgender people are unfortunately an under-researched topic. Most existing guidelines are extremely binary and based on sex assigned at birth, which comprises anatomy, body composition, and hormones. The research doesn’t offer much guidance for non-binary or intersex individuals. Knowing whether to follow existing female or male guidelines can therefore be confusing and often requires the guidance and support of a health care provider.

View Resource Transgender Health and Wellness Recommendations

Why am I depressed as I navigate my sexuality?

Thank you for everything, and it is being appreciated by thousands. I have read all your advice to others and have learned a lot. However, I have a problem that I do not know how to handle. It started when I decided to turn myself around from being bisexual to straight (nobody knew what I was, except my best friend, who is also bisexual). I now have a big hole inside me that is being filled by the dark things of life (such as hatred). I had good qualities, such as a great personality, being open-minded, and I would rather go through life without it than turn back to the "bad" habits (please do not get me wrong, I will never judge gays for I have been close to being one). Please help me to fill the hole with life, to get back or improve on my qualities, and to gain the knowledge to approach and attract someone of the opposite sex. And one last thing, do you think it is wise to let my future girlfriend know what I used to be?


Why is mpox being spoken about as if it's a gay STD?

So I'm wondering some stuff about mpox. Why is mpox being spoken about as if it's a gay STD? Mpox can be spread through nonsexual contact and fomite transmission, according to health authorities, and many other diseases such as the flu and corona can be obviously spread through sexual intercourse (via close contact). Additionally, according to the CDC, Ebola can be spread through semen of a previously infected male a while after recovery while not symptomatic (which appears to be unlike mpox in which it's only spread while actively symptomatic and, although mpox is extremely severe, it doesn't last for more than several weeks) but Ebola isn't thought of as a STD (and of course Ebola can obviously be spread through nonsexual as well as sexual contact) just like corona and the flu among many other diseases. Yet mpox is basically now thought of as being a STD — and a gay STD at that — whereas other diseases that also spread through nonsexual means like mpox aren't. This is very concerning to me both because it would be contributing to ineffective containment measures which would let mpox continue spreading and because it could lead to an increase in discrimination against an already marginalized demographic. What's going on here?