I've always been something of a hypochondriac, although my friends and family know nothing about it. As a child, I would regularly convince myself that I had appendicitis. As a teenager, I worried about being pregnant despite never having had vaginal intercourse. As a college student, I worked in a hospice for late-stage AIDS patients. Although I never had contact with blood or semen, I convinced myself that I may have contracted HIV somehow by doing their laundry with some kind of minor cuts on my hands I never noticed, or because a patient drooled on my hands. I've been tested at least three times since then, but I still haven't gotten over it and am nervously preoccupied with the idea that I have infected the whole two people that I've ever slept with. At the moment, I'm also convinced I have cancer. I *know* I'm completely wrong about all of this... I know, I know. And get this: I'm in medical school now. It's only going to get worse. Help me!