My problem is about vaginal dryness. I am an otherwise healthy twenty-one-year-old female, but cannot seem to get wet enough for pleasurable sex with my husband. We both get sore afterwards and I feel like I am not "performing" much like I would imagine a man would feel if he couldn't get an erection. Here's the thing, my husband doesn't want me to use artificial lubricants. Honestly I don't either. Are there any alternatives to K-Y? Is dehydration or draining enough fluids a factor? Any info would be of much help. Thanks so much.

My uncircumcised boyfriend and I recently started having sex. However, I am his first and he has had tremendous pain while penetrating and even during intercourse. He says the pain is caused from the foreskin being pulled down too far. Because of this, he has never had an orgasm during sex. What can be done to correct this so that we can both start enjoying sex?

I've seen you have given so much great advice in the past I was hoping you could give me some. I always use a condom when I have sex. I don't seem to last as long as I want to. I was thinking of trying one of those gels or creams that make you last longer. Is this stuff safe to use with a condom? Could it possibly break down the condom, causing it to fail? Thanks for any help, Alice.

One question I keep looking for good advice on: what's the best way to clean a leather cat o'nine tails between uses, especially if it drew blood? I'm worried about HIV and Hepatitis, although there are probably other health risks involved, too. Anyway, thanks!

1) Are the inner lips of the vagina supposed to be "longer" OR "shorter" than the outer lips? Also, my right inner lip is longer than my left inner lip. Like, a lot longer. My right inner lip sticks out from my outer lips and is very visible. Is this abnormal? Thank you :]

2) Is it normal for the inner labia to be different sizes? One lip is somewhat "thicker" and has a lumpy looking edge while the other is thinner and straight. Plus, should they be closed together or do they open up a bit? Mine are closed together unless I pull them apart with my fingers.

I am (still!) a virgin and have a question about the hymen. I know mine is not entirely intact, because I did a lot of horseback riding as a child. But as I'm not a tampon-user (nor wish to become one), I'm not exactly sure how painful intercourse will be, for the first time, nor what will happen to the hymen.

I always assumed it was a thin membrane that, upon penetration, would shrink evenly to the sides. But I seem to have what you might call a flesh tab, and though I've looked at pictures offered in Our Bodies, Ourselves, I'm not sure I understand how an opening will be created, and have the horrifying idea that a piece of flesh is going to drop out or be torn right out of me. Is it normal to have a flesh tab? What will happen to it? And if I tried inserting a tampon, would that facilitate the tearing process? Please help.

Here is my situation: My b/f and I had anal sex, and this was not the first time we've done it. But this time was different. After we were done I noticed there was something that kind of just popped out from my bottom. It's like a piece of your skin or muscle or something. I kept trying to push it back in, but it keeps coming back out. It doesnt cause me great pain, but just a little bit of itching sometimes. What is it? What should i do with it? Is it bad? Please let me know. Thank you.

I have found no better lubricant for masturbation than my own pre-cum. Problem is, I have plenty of it sometimes, and not nearly enough at other times (usually when I have to do it in a hurry). I would like to store some up to use for those dry times by "milking" the stuff into a small glass vial or something. However, I wonder about whether it would "spoil" or start growing bacteria, etc. If so, would that matter, since I would be using it externally on my own penis? Any ideas on how best to store it?

My boyfriend and I are having sex 2 days after my menstrual cycle. I am on birth control. I finish my cycle on a Saturday and start the new cycle on Sunday. We usually have sex on the Saturday night before I start the new cycle. Is it safe to have sex even though you have finished your menstrual cycle but have not started taking the pill for the next cycle?

How can I take a condom off without it ripping the hair off of my penis? I have considered shaving and other hair removal methods, but rejected them on the basis that the solution is nearly as painful and/or troublesome as the problem. The pain caused by this problem can kill the mood real quickly even if my partner and I are ready for more.

I've always come to this site to either browse through others' problems and compare them to my own and because I've been sexually curious for as long as I can remember. Recently, a guy I've been friends with and I have started to "get to know each other." Last night, this question arose: How exactly do you "suck balls" and what are the benefits? I looked through everyone's questions, and I didn't see this one.

I am a twenty-three-year-old male who has a question about my scrotum. My scrotum seems to be tight up against my body, only sometimes does it drop a little lower. I thought that maybe my scrotum was just late in growing properly. Now I am not so sure. What should I do?

1) I had my first sexual experience on the weekend. Now I'm still bleeding. It's been about two days. Is this normal? How long does it last?

2) Recently, my boyfriend and I were fooling around and he was fingering me. He has really big hands with really long fingers and, for the first time, I felt a lot of pain followed by a lot of pleasure. After he was done, I checked my underwear and it was drenched in blood. I am assuming that my hymen was broken but I didn't think it was supposed to bleed for over two days and certainly not this much. Is this normal or is something else happening?

First let me just say how much I love your website and your terrific advice — it has saved me from a lot of embarrassing questions. LOL.

You see I am interested in buying a sex toy, preferably a penis sleeve or masturbator (for me to masturbate with). I have recently asked my mom about this and she does seem like it is open for discussion. The only thing is, she wants to know if the use of sex toys such as these (that vibrate or not) are safe and if I can damage my penis somehow or if there are any risks using these kinds of devices. I don't think there are any risks except for allergic reactions or not enough use of lubrication. But I am not sure. So please, please Alice, answer my question.

I have a weird question. My boyfriend and I were talking and he told me that men's balls move on their own throughout the day. I did not believe him so he showed me. He got undressed and laid back on the bed and told me to lift his penis and watch real close. I did and unbelievably, his balls moved. It's like they vibrated kind of like a heart beat. It was so cool. What makes a man's balls move alone?

I have a blood disorder (leiden factor V) which prevents me from talking any form of birth control with hormones in it. This is a problem as I am very paranoid about getting pregnant, I would like to have a child at some point, but not for five or six years. Condoms just seem to risky, and diaphragms and female condoms don't work well for me. So I'm not quite sure what to do. I am able to take the plan B pill, and wondered if I can just take it after having sex. Or if there are any other options out there I would love to know about them! Thank you!

Should a normal man's penis become erect for a certain number of times throughout one day (without any external stimulus)? Or, do these erections occur only while a man is sleeping? I have been masturbating once every day or every other day, and I have noticed that I rarely get any of those spontaneous erections during the day at all. Plus, I have been waking up with no morning erection during the past week. Have I been masturbating too much?

I have a somewhat embarrassing question. Is there anything specific I can do in my diet or anything to where my PMS bleeding flow isn't so heavy? It has been so heavy that at times, I put a tampon in and in a matter of like 20 min, I have to change in the beginning of my cycle. I also have had it leak into my clothing. This can be quite embarrassing. Any help would be appreciated.

My boyfriend has genital warts, but he is very afraid of giving them to me. We were wondering if there was a condom that also covered up the scrotum. We ask because he was told that, even with a condom, he could still transmit the disease if his scrotum came in contact with my vagina. Please help.

I'm sending you this message from the top of the Sierra Nevada mountains of California. My wife just experienced her best orgasm ever. We live by the beach, a very low altitude... so that made me wonder, although crazy, "Does altitude have any impact on sex?"

If it doesn't impact sex, it definately impacts the lube bottle as it came squirting out on it's own...

While reading some of your responses to female arousal, you say that the clitoris is as sensitive as the penis. Why is it then that when I touch mine, I get only a little pleasure, if any? Yes, I know where the clitoris is, so that's not the problem. What's wrong with me?

For the past month or so, I have not been able to enjoy sex with my boyfriend. Our sex life was great, but now I can't have an orgasm anymore. It doesn't even feel good anymore. I am able to get in the mood, but when we actually start having intercourse, it does not feel like it used to. Sometimes it will hurt a little and sometimes it won't. What's wrong with me?

My fiance and I frequently enjoy anal sex. We no longer use condoms with each other during vaginal sex or anal sex. He enjoys ejaculating in me during anal sex and I don't mind it. Immediately afterwards I go to the bathroom and get out his cum, but sometimes it takes awhile for it to all come out. I'm wondering if this is OK to do or if it is harmful to my body because I do enjoy it and would like to continue. I just don't know anyone else who does this and wonder if it could harm me in any way. I've been wondering so much about it lately that I don't want to have anal sex anymore because I'm worried.