I enjoy performing cunnilingus on my girlfriend, and every so often, I get a sore throat. My question is, is it all right to perform cunnilingus on my girlfriend if I have a sore throat? Or is there a chance that whatever causing my throat discomfort could cause her trouble as well? Can the “giver” of oral sex pass along sore throat germs to the “receiver”?

I have tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. My boyfriend has also tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. This a a long-term stable relationship. Neither of us has outbreaks very often.

Since this is a monogamous relationship, do we need to use any protection for genital or oral sex? I understand that we both have antibodies for 1 and 2 so I don't believe we can reinfect each other. However, when I consulted some doctors and sites, they suggested refraining from any sexual intimacy whenever one of us has an outbreak or feels an outbreak is about to happen.

My question is: if we both already have herpes 1 & 2 can we a) re-infect each other or b) cause either of us to have more outbreaks? Also, can we spread the virus to other locations on our own bodies?

Thanks, Alice. I hope you can help us.

I have recently gone to a Planned Parenthood STD Clinic. From what they told me, they tested for everything "curable" (i.e., they did not test for HIV, genital warts, or herpes). I know where to get tested for HIV, but my question is: are there tests for herpes and genital warts? What are the odds of someone having herpes or genital warts and being asymptomatic? I plan to use a condom during intercourse regardless, but must I do the same for oral sex as well? Is there any way of knowing for sure if someone is clean of STDs?

If my husband takes antivirals or post-exposure prophylaxis can we still have sex with a condom and still complete the process like normal? It is affecting our sex life because he does not want to infect me. I don't want to be infected but I knew what I was getting into from the start. I might start PrEP as it is now available to me. What are your thoughts?

What is it that doctors are looking for in a urine test for STIs? How exactly do they test the urine for the various infections?

Thank you for your time and help.

I ended a relationship about a year ago. I have always seemed to have a yeast infection when I went to doctors before. In my relationship I had went to the doctors before because of discharge and just told them I didn’t need to really be looked at because I know what it is. Well at the end of my relationship I went to the doctor to get a whole check-up. Come to find out that what I thought was a yeast infection turned out to be trichomoniasis. I think I have had it for a couple of years now. I have gone to be treated for it two times. Each time it would go away and then come back. I was wondering if it was because I had it for such a long time?

1) Can you get AIDS from a mosquito bite? I heard you can't, but I'm really paranoid about this. Actually, it wasn't a bite — I squashed the bug and all the blood in it splattered everywhere and then here I am with someone's blood on a cut in my finger. HELP! I'm really freaking out. I don't know if I should get tested or not again, because I did get tested before (negative), but the anguish of waiting for results was horrible. Maybe I'm just ultra paranoid?

2) Is it possible to contract AIDS by handling raw bloody meat?

Dear Alice, 

I take Valtrex daily to protect me from cold sores I get on my face. I haven’t had one since I started taking it a few years ago. My partner gets cold sores on his mouth and has recently performed oral sex on me while having a cold sore. Will the daily Valtrex protect me from developing genital herpes? How will this affect me in the future?

1) I have recently discovered that I have what appear to be crabs in my pubic hair. They are itchy and annoying and appear to be laying eggs. How do I get rid of them?

2) I think I have pubic lice, a.k.a. "crabs." Do I need to see a doctor about this problem, or is there over-the-counter medication of some kind I can use to expel the little buggers from their new home? Also, I'm curious as to how I got them since I haven't had sex for several months and this is a recent development. Can one contract this problem from sharing clothing, towels, or bedclothes?

What are the risks of HIV infection for the passive partner of oral sex?

My question is about AIDS/HIV: I had a sexual affair that lasted two-and-a-half months, and, unfortunately, I was not using condoms. I happen to know nothing about my partner's previous sex life. I know that, for a test to show something, you must wait for six to nine months. I would like to know whether, provided that I am infected, I will experience any symptoms in this six to nine month period? Is it possible to have the virus and not have any symptoms or indications all this time? Right now, I am a graduate student and I am experiencing anxiety, fatigue, sleepiness, weight loss (three to five pounds in the last two months). Are these related to the disease, or is it just in my mind?

What are the signs of an advanced case of syphilis, say twelve years down the road? Is treatment still possible or is it too late? I have reason to believe that I've been infected that long, and denying it. Would I still be contagious? Would I have been after five years?

1) What are the symptoms of gonorrhea?

2) How long of a time frame could you have gonorrhea and not know it? The doctors say you can't track how long you have had it so how do we know? I feel my last partner gave it to me and that was nine months ago. Is that possible?

Thanks. I can't get much information in regards to this subject so I have no idea. And it can't be received from sitting on a toilet or anything of that sort, correct?

I am aware of the effects of HPV in women such as cervical cancer, but if there are no signs and symptoms how will a male know that he has HPV and how is it treated in men?

Just wondering what you could tell me about Hepatitis B. My mother was just recently diagnosed with it, so I'd like some more information about what it is, what it does, who gets it, and the like.

I got tested for HIV a year and a half ago. Since then, I've been with two other people. One guy was a virgin but we had unprotected sex sometimes. He was tested in December (after us being together for one year) and it came back negative. I'm afraid to get tested again because I heard that the guy I was with two years ago before I was tested is HIV positive. I was already tested after I heard this and it came back negative. But, people around campus just won't stopped talking and I'm starting to panic. So, I thought about doing an at-home test because I'm too scared to go to the clinic. I found an at home test that says that you can get at home results in 15 minutes.

It's called the HOME ACCESS and it says it's FDA-approved. Is this accurate? Also, I have another question: with the information I provided you, do you think I'm at risk?

My boyfriend claims he is HIV negative based on the fact that his blood donations have not been rejected. Is this a safe assumption? Is each and every pint of donated blood really tested for HIV and other blood-transmittable diseases? Do they really contact the donor if the blood is rejected because it tested positive for a blood-borne disease?

My best friend has AIDS and he's sexually active. He has unprotected sex with other men with HIV/AIDS. Should he use a condom instead or can does unprotected sex make no difference at all at this stage? Thank you.

I am 28 years old, and became sexually active two years ago. My husband is the only man I've ever had sex with, and I am his only sexual partner as well. Where does the gene or whatever it is that the HPV vaccine helps guard against come from? Because I'm too old to get the vaccine, are my chances of getting cervical cancer from this particular gene increased then? Thank you for your help.

1) What exactly is chlamydia? How is it transmitted? Can you get it through oral sex (man on woman)? How is it treated (especially in the case of males)?

2) Could you tell me about the symptoms of chlamydia and if one test is enough to detect that disease? Thank you.

I have talked to my doctor, to my local Planned Parenthood, and to the local health department. I have gotten the same story from all of them, that unless there are symptoms or a reason, one shouldn't have STD lab work done (or that there wasn't a 'routine' inclusive screen). It wasn't until recently that I discovered that a lot of STDs are asymptomatic. Are there 'routine' tests that should be performed for each of us (besides my normal annual)? If so, where can one go for this kind of testing and what should be tested for?

Recently my girlfriend and I purchased a home pregnancy test and it came out positive. Four days later, we were sitting in a clinic awaiting her name to be called for an abortion. My girlfriend wouldn't hear of any idea but going through the process as quickly as possible.

Throughout the entire experience I tried to be as supportive as possible, taking as much care of her and giving her as much love as I could, and in the meantime suppressing as much of the stress I was under as I could; she has even told me that I was 'perfect' throughout the whole thing. The period following the procedure, though, has been a roller coaster ride: she was subject to mood swings, going from a state of total bliss in my company to practically despising my existence.

She told me she wants time away from me. She is convinced that an experience like this (an abortion) irrevocably changes a relationship. She is pro-choice, but this abortion has affected her more than she expected; she cannot shake the feeling that she killed our child — she has even dreamed about the would-be baby...

Now, I understand that an abortion can bring a person to her emotional knees, regardless of how she might have thought about it previously. But here I am witnessing her shutting me completely out... and I ask myself, is this how it has to be? I love her very, very much — she absolutely means the world to me. She has repeatedly let me know she feels the same about me. How do people deal with this crisis? Is this common? What are the resources available for CU students, post-abortion? How do I convince her that this doesn't have to be the undoing of our relationship, or am I wrong in believing this fate can be avoided?

1) While I found a lot of info on oral sex and AIDS on this blissfully honest site, there didn't seem to be any info on "fingering" (not sure of the technical term?) a woman. I'm in a high risk AIDS country and recently "used my fingers" for a couple of minutes to delight a local woman who has turned out to be having her period. After noticing a considerable amount of bloody discharge, we stopped. But do I have a considerable AIDS risk? There were no cuts on the fingers I used but a small, possibly healed, cut on the thumb of the same hand. Break it down for me. I'm a bit on edge.

2) Can you contract HIV from anal fingering your partner if you had cuts/scratches on your fingers?

I have been thinking about getting tested for STIs for a while now but have been concerned with medical privacy policy. From the research I have done, I have not been able to find if I tested positive for an STI would I be referred to in name as a 'risk to public safety' or simply as a statistic. I know that this will be placed in my medical records and documented for the rest of my life. Will I have a label attached to my name for the rest of my life? Who will be notified if I do test positive for something like syphilis or herpes?

I have been seeing my boyfriend for four weeks. He has told me all about his past relationships. Is it safe to stop using condoms now?

I'm 18 years old and have never had sex. But three years ago, I started masturbating. And this past week I have been having swelling in my vagina. You can't get any STD on your own, can you? I'm scared to go to the doctor because I don't want my Mom to know I have been doing this. Please respond.

Is it possible to get sick from oral sex, when your partner doesn't have any STD's? I've only ever had one partner, and recently I performed oral sex on him. Only ever since I have had a sore throat, and swollen glands. Is this related, or did I just pick up cold germs he was carrying?

I am really nervous because my period is a week late so far and I am studying abroad in Egypt. I really don't know who to talk to about this. Premarital sex is a big taboo, abortion is illegal, and I can't even find a pregnancy test at a pharmacy. What should I do? I can't come back to the U.S. with a big belly — I can't tell my family! I am so afraid! I left the U.S. a month ago (my partner is still there). I read that jetlag can influence your menstrual cycle, as can weight gain or loss. I was jetlagged, but my weight is more or less the same (except I am eating more rice and oil than I do normally). Could diet change your cycle? Anyway, I guess my main question is, what should you do if you find out you are pregnant in a conservative country where abortion is illegal and don't have enough money to fly home and back? Thanks.

I am nineteen-years-old. I just found out that I'm pregnant. I have been with the guy for two years and in college for one year. We are not financially stable. We have given it a lot of thought, but still do not know what to do. I have looked at the pros and cons and still I'm not sure. I have three little sisters and know that raising children is a hard job. Throughout this time I have leaned more toward the abortion, but don't feel like I know enough about it. Can you please HELP?

I've just had my first condom break ever. I'm on the pill, so I'm not worried about pregnancy, but a couple of days afterwards I had yeast infection-like symptoms — no unusual discharge, just itching. If I pick up some over-the-counter yeast infection medication and the symptoms go away, would I be safe to assume that was the problem? Or should I definitely go in for an STI check?

1) I recently had intercourse with a sheep at a friend's house. He is a sheeprancher and one day he was talking about how good it was. He left town for a few days and asked me to feed his animals. I took the chance and gave it a try. The strange thing is that I enjoyed it more than having sex with my girlfriend. When I was a young lad I was molested by a female babysitter. I was wondering if you may think that the earlier incident in my life has affected my sexuality. I liked it so much that I want to do it again, but I am worried that I may contract a STD from the ewe. I have heard that you can.

Could you please help me?

2) I have read about men and women having sex with animals, e.g., dogs (Women on Top by Nancy Friday, Simon & Schuster, 1991). Apart from it being against the law (I think), are there medical reasons why this is not a good idea? For example, are there STDs that can be passed from animals to humans? Are there immunological consequences from depositing sperm into the vagina of another species? Is this kind of sex common?

Is there any data indicating that recurrences of genital herpes occur more often during the winter? That seems to be the case with me.

Are there any other sexually transmitted diseases or causes of raised bumps on the vulva?? I have had reciprocal oral sex with two male virgins. The bump is sometimes red and sometimes flesh in color. It causes me no discomfort or pain, and I have no other symptoms that I can recognize.

Dear Alice,

I recently had a routine HIV screening done for prenatal labs. It was positive. Thank GOD, western blot came out to be negative. My OB is reassuring me not to worry, that false positives sometimes come out in pregnancy, and as long as the western blot is negative — I'm negative. Could you explain a little more in detail as to why and if you agree with my doctor? I'm at very little risk otherwise and had a negative HIV test about five years ago and am with the same person (my husband).