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How can I tell my nosy roommate to step off?

I'm a junior in college and I live in a suite with five other girls. We are all best friends, except for one girl. None of us like her because she says anything that pops into her head (she told one of my suitemates, who is battling an eating disorder, that she looked pregnant), and she is constantly trying to find out gossip about us. After a night of fun, she will come into all of our rooms, and pump us for info (she hasn't gone out with us yet this year). She thrives on knowing gossip about anyone and everyone. My question is: how can we tell her to mind her own business and shut her mouth? Also: how can we tell her that we don't want her to live with us next year? Thanks for your help!


If my partner and I both have HSV-1 and HSV-2, will having sex cause more outbreaks?

I have tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. My boyfriend has also tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. This a a long-term stable relationship. Neither of us has outbreaks very often.

Since this is a monogamous relationship, do we need to use any protection for genital or oral sex? I understand that we both have antibodies for 1 and 2 so I don't believe we can reinfect each other. However, when I consulted some doctors and sites, they suggested refraining from any sexual intimacy whenever one of us has an outbreak or feels an outbreak is about to happen.

My question is: if we both already have herpes 1 & 2 can we a) re-infect each other or b) cause either of us to have more outbreaks? Also, can we spread the virus to other locations on our own bodies?

Thanks, Alice. I hope you can help us.


Should I refrain from using frozen condoms?

I'm not wrong when I say condoms can freeze, right? I had some condoms in my car when the temperature outside was definitely below freezing. They were only out in the cold for about thirty minutes. Would it be safe to still use them? Or, should I discard the condoms and get new ones? The box says to keep it below 100-degree temperature, but doesn't say anything about keeping them above a certain temperature. Safe or not?


Are there tests for herpes and genital warts?

I have recently gone to a Planned Parenthood STD Clinic. From what they told me, they tested for everything "curable" (i.e., they did not test for HIV, genital warts, or herpes). I know where to get tested for HIV, but my question is: are there tests for herpes and genital warts? What are the odds of someone having herpes or genital warts and being asymptomatic? I plan to use a condom during intercourse regardless, but must I do the same for oral sex as well? Is there any way of knowing for sure if someone is clean of STDs?


Can I go off and on birth control pills on my own?

I've been on birth control pills for eight years and I'm thinking about trying a few months off them. They were prescribed when I was pretty young because of very irregular periods. I also was involved in a monogamous relationship for a number of years, so they were convenient. Now I have no steady partner, and am really curious to see how I feel without taking these pills. Would it be ok to go off them at the end of my pill pack or should I consult someone at health services first? If I go off for a few months and my periods are as horrendous as they were when I was younger, would it be safe to start up again on my own (I usually just see someone once per year for pill checks)?


Is it normal to spot with a NuvaRing?

I have been on the Nuvaring for three months now, and I am keeping it in for the four weeks then changing it because my doctor said there's no need for me to have a period. About two weeks ago I started having dark brown discharge and it has gotten more heavy, but only when I run or stand up real quick. Is this normal or should I call my doctor and find out what is going on?


What are the common reasons for condom failure?

I live in Prague, Czech Republic — Europe. Before asking any question, I should tell you that I really appreciate your service. As for my question, I would like to ask you about the most common reasons for condom failure as a contraceptive method. I suppose that the most frequent one is condom breakage. But what are the others? I am especially concerned about pregnancy risk implied by the accidental transfer of sperm in pre-cum to condom by fingers while putting it on.


Are condoms from vending machines safe?

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE answer this question for me. Are condoms you buy from machines in the bathroom safe? What I mean is, could they carry some sort of disease or STD or anything that can make me sick (I don't mean allergies)? And also, could you tell me if American condoms are better than other countries' condoms? I read that U.S. condoms are electronically tested for defects or diseases, but I was wondering if other countries like Europe or Thailand or whatever tested their condoms, too. If I was older, I would buy condoms from boxes, but until then, I am stuck buying them from bathroom machines.


How do I know what condom size will fit me?

1) In my shopping and looking for condoms, I NEVER come across a formal size chart. I have been told that I was "endowed" and that I need to look toward larger sized models, but all I ever see is "snug fit," "large," and "extra large," etc. How big is big? It would be most helpful if I knew what I was buying before I actually bought it. Do you know of the sizes of some popular condoms, or of a size chart resource?

2) I have just started sleeping with my girlfriend and I was a virgin previously. Unfortunately, a slight problem has interfered... I tried to use a condom the first time (a free one from Health Services) and it was too small on me. I only rolled up about 3/4 of the way and was *very* uncomfortable. Is there any specific brand that I could use that would be more comfortable?


Is Mirena safe for those who have yet to give birth?

I have recently been advised that my on-going migraines might be caused and/or increased by the use of contraceptives containing estrogen. To that end, I have been recommended to switch to a progesterone-only form of birth control. Which, in turn, basically means I get to choose between Implanon and Mirena (I really can't stand needles, so Depo is out for me!). I am only 23 years old, and have not yet started a family. I do want to have children someday, and am very enticed by the idea of Mirena lasting to the point when I might want to begin trying to get pregnant. However, all of the advertisements for Mirena state that ideal candidates have already had children.

Is Mirena still safe for use in women who have not yet given birth? If so are there any additional side effects to consider in this instance?


How can I make sure my condom works properly? 

1) Recently, during intercourse, my condom broke. Now, of course, I am very worried about it happening again. I am constantly checking the condom during sex and find that the condom is extremely tight against the tip of my penis whenever I check. I am afraid it will get tight again and break. I'm not sure what to do or where to go. Is the condom supposed to be very tight at the tip or not? Any help would be great.

2) Here's my query. I recently started having sex, and we are committed to using condoms. What is the "right" way to use a condom? I know how to put them on and take them off. But I'm petrified about having it break or come off. Also, someone told me that I should pull out immediately after I ejaculate. Is this true? This has happened before, but I have "stayed in" because I wanted my partner to have an orgasm. Is it really important to withdraw immediately after ejaculation?


Do birth control pills cause brain aneurysms?

Sadly, today I found out that a friend of my family has just passed away. The cause of her sudden death was a brain aneurysm. I have been researching brain aneurysms and have found out that oral contraceptives are thought to sometimes cause them. I am 19 and I am taking birth control, and now I am very worried. Can you give me some statistics about brain aneurysms linked to oral contraceptives? Thank you.


What are different types of condoms?

1) I've never bought condoms before. I'm a smart shopper — I look at things like quality and value when I buy anything — and I want to do the same with my condom purchases. But I don't know what to look for!!! And I'm not sure I'm ballsy enough to walk up to the pharmacist and ask, "Now, tell me, if your daughter were having sex, which brand of condom would you want her to use with her boyfriend?"

I want a really effective condom, that doesn't, like, smell weird or fit poorly or anything. And I don't want to whip it out and have my man laughing at it.

Who do I ask for advice on this??? Where do I go?

2) My boyfriend and I have recently decided that we will use condoms and spermicide for contraceptive purposes. We have begun experimenting with various brands/types of condoms, which has caused concern. Can you explain the various types of condoms, and/or the advantages/disadvantages of each, i.e., effectiveness, etc. Lambskin vs. latex vs. polyurethane??? We are monogamous and primarily concerned with pregnancy prevention.


Can supplements affect birth control effectiveness?

1) Is it true that taking those Emergen-C packets or any other vitamin supplements can effect the effectiveness of your birth control pill?

2) I know antibiotics can lower the effectiveness of birth control, but can probiotics or prebiotics, such as a floral acidophilus FOS, also decrease effectiveness? I've been taking birth control pills for the past 10 years with no scares or baby bumps, and I don't want to wake up pregnant one day because I took a capsule that's supposed to be healthy! :)


How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


How can I put on a condom if I can't retract my foreskin when I'm erect?

I believe I have a mild case of phimosis. When my penis is not erect, I can retract my foreskin all the way back to reveal the glans. However, when I have a full erection, it is impossible to retract the foreskin to that extent. I can only retract it to reveal the slit and top part of the penis. Due to this problem, I have a question about condom use. I'm still a virgin, so I have never experienced intercourse using a condom. When I read the instructions on how to use a condom, they almost always instruct you to retract the foreskin completely if you are not circumcised. Since I cannot retract the foreskin while erect, is it still possible to use a condom without retracting the foreskin, and will this complication affect slippage of the condom or sensation problems during intercourse? On a side note, why is it recommended to retract the foreskin fully before putting on the condom? Thank you in advance.


Do I need to use condoms if my boyfriend might have an STI and not know it?

If my partner and I have been monogamous for three years (and I was a virgin before we met) and my partner tested negative for the HIV virus (twice, about two years ago, with a six-month gap between the tests) is it safe for us to use a birth control method other than a condom? That is, are there still any STDs that my partner might have without knowing it, that we should be worried about, even though nothing whatsoever has seemed wrong with either of us for three years and my partner has had several regular annual physicals in that time?


If I don't take birth control pills at exactly the same time am I unprotected?

I have two questions, first: On my birth control pill box instructions it says to take a pill each day at ABOUT the same time. I was wondering, does this mean that I should set an alarm to make sure I take it the exact minute every day (which is what I've been doing) or can I take it within a couple of hours difference if I decide to sleep in on Saturday?

Secondly: My doctor told me that if I miss a pill to consider myself unprotected for that month. However, after I left I realized that in biology class we learned that a ovum (or egg) can only survive a few days inside the fallopian tubes and uterus and then it get absorbed into the body (or dies). If I missed a pill then wouldn't I only be unprotected for the next couple of days (if an egg was produced in the 24 hr period that I didn't take the pill) instead of the whole month?


Can I take birth controls pills as emergency contraception?

Is there any way for a woman to combine her birth control pills to get the same effect as PCC (post-coital contraception)? If so, what is the dosage? For example, could I take three or four or even all of my birth control pills at once in order to get the same effect? I need to know the answer: How many pills will equal one PCC dosage? Please tell me because otherwise I'm going to take the whole month's worth at once.


Why does my boyfriend have difficulty orgasming with a condom?

After being on birth control pills for the past two-and-a-half years, I stopped taking them because of side-effects. Since going off the pill, my boyfriend and I have been using condoms with an additional spermicide. The problem is that he is having a difficult time having an orgasm. He says that the condoms do not provide him with enough stimulation to be able to ejaculate. As a result of this dilemma, our sex life has become almost non-existent.

Could it be the type of condoms that we are using? We're using latex condoms. What can we do? Our sex life is riding on this!


Will starting and stopping the pill increase my risk for cancer?

I have been on the pill for over a year now. Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. We still see each other, but I have not had sex since we broke up. I don't plan on having sex with anybody else. My question is, if I don't plan on having sex for a long while, should I stop the pill? I am afraid that if I decide to get back on the pill, I will have an increased risk of cancer or something like that. Is this true?


Why am I itchy after the condom broke?

I've just had my first condom break ever. I'm on the pill, so I'm not worried about pregnancy, but a couple of days afterwards I had yeast infection-like symptoms — no unusual discharge, just itching. If I pick up some over-the-counter yeast infection medication and the symptoms go away, would I be safe to assume that was the problem? Or should I definitely go in for an STI check?


How to navigate relationship with gay roommate?

When I came to Columbia, my roommate and I got along really well. We still do. However, three weeks into the year, I learned that he is gay. I have no problems with this, I'd like to think that I'm open-minded — but can you give me some advice on how to handle this relationship?


Can I still sleep over now that my girlfriend has a roommate?

I have a problem. The problem is my new roommate. We didn't know that he was gay when we asked him to be our roommate because he went out with girls before he moved in. After a month of living with us he started going to gay night at the local clubs and then found this guy. It is a week later and when my other roommate came home from seeing his girlfriend he found condoms all over the place. He didn't even clean up his mess! What should we do? We still have to live with him for another year.


Why do I lose my erection when I put on a condom?

I care for my girlfriend, whom I have been seeing for a few months now. I have no problem maintaining an erection when she performs oral sex on me. In fact I can climax twice in a relatively short time. We have, however, been unable to actually engage in intercourse, since when we go to put on the condom, I lose my erection. I'm not really having too much of a problem getting erect (i.e., I get an erection, and may lose it early on, but I am able to get and maintain another one for oral sex). What could be the problem? Stress? A lack of physical attraction? I will be grateful for any answer you can provide me.


What can I do if I have no privacy to masturbate?

I used to always masturbate at least once a day before I came here to college. However, now that I have a roommate, I can never find time alone to masturbate. I feel a need to masturbate at least once a day, but now I can't go through with my urge every day. Thus I start thinking about masturbation during class, and it's really affecting my mind. I need to masturbate or else I can't function correctly. Please help me out. Maybe there is another means to get out my sexual urges.


How can I navigate conversations with my partner about his living situation?

At my school, there are three kinds of rooms: singles (one person in one room), doubles (two people in one room), and walk-throughs (two people in two rooms with a door separating them). My partner is living in a walk-through double with a friend of his. He lives on the inside room, which means I have to walk through his roommate’s room to get to his room. I hate it! I feel so guilty leaving my partner's room late at night and if my partner's roommate isn't home, I feel like I'm somehow invading his privacy by walking through his room. When we hang out, I get uncomfortable being intimate (or even just hanging out pantsless!) with my partner knowing that his roommate is on the other side of the door. There's supposed to be more privacy, but in some ways, it feels like we have less! My partner and his roommate haven't had any trouble with the walk-through arrangement... but I do. I feel weird talking to his roommate about guidelines and solutions because it isn't my room. How can I find ways to set guidelines and boundaries for this peculiar situation without making myself a huge nuisance?