Dear Alice,

As a bisexual young woman, I find myself thinking about both men and women, though my sexual fantasies more commonly involve other females. This has led me to wonder several things: At what age would it be appropriate to begin exploring sexual experiences with a trusted partner? I feel emotionally ready for this step now, but I'm questioning whether these feelings are normal for someone my age. I'm also curious about the relative safety of different sexual encounters - would it be safer to experiment with women rather than men when first becoming sexually active?

Can having a Pap test during menstruation have effects on the result? I've heard not to get one during this period. Can it cause abnormal results? Why is this?

1) Is having sex in the shower that is hot or in a hot tub safe? Someone told me the heat kills the sperm. I thought it sounds dumb but I was just wondering.

2) I have a question about sex in swimming pools and hot tubs. Will the chemicals deteriorate a condom? Also, can spermicide be used in water or will it be washed away? Please answer. Thank you.

1) I had my first sexual experience on the weekend. Now I'm still bleeding. It's been about two days. Is this normal? How long does it last?

2) Recently, my boyfriend and I were fooling around and he was fingering me. He has really big hands with really long fingers and, for the first time, I felt a lot of pain followed by a lot of pleasure. After he was done, I checked my underwear and it was drenched in blood. I am assuming that my hymen was broken but I didn't think it was supposed to bleed for over two days and certainly not this much. Is this normal or is something else happening?

While reading some of your responses to female arousal, you say that the clitoris is as sensitive as the penis. Why is it then that when I touch mine, I get only a little pleasure, if any? Yes, I know where the clitoris is, so that's not the problem. What's wrong with me?

1) I like to kiss my wife's feet. Do I have a foot fetish?

2) I get sexually aroused by feet. Am I a freak, or what?

3) I have two questions:

1. It's getting to be summer over here; I don't know if that's part of it, but why do so many people wear sneakers or sports shoes without socks? Is it a new style or something?

2. Does it mean I have a foot fetish if I get a "hard on" when I see other guys not wearing socks? I mean, I've seen the foot fetish web pages and I have no reaction to them (basically the same reaction as if I were reading a VCR manual). And, occasionally, I do get a really big "woody" when I go out in public barefoot in my high-top sneakers or see other people do it.

My fiance and I frequently enjoy anal sex. We no longer use condoms with each other during vaginal sex or anal sex. He enjoys ejaculating in me during anal sex and I don't mind it. Immediately afterwards I go to the bathroom and get out his cum, but sometimes it takes awhile for it to all come out. I'm wondering if this is OK to do or if it is harmful to my body because I do enjoy it and would like to continue. I just don't know anyone else who does this and wonder if it could harm me in any way. I've been wondering so much about it lately that I don't want to have anal sex anymore because I'm worried.

This is a very informative site. Maybe your male colleagues can help with this one. I once heard a guy say that "a man has to position himself." I have noticed guys adjusting and have always wondered why. I have also found that I am turned on by this. Have other women reported feeling this way?