Showing 1 - 50 of 53 results

Why have I started fantasizing about women when I've only ever liked men?

I have always been attracted to men, and have only been with men. I am currently happily engaged to a man, and have no doubts about our relationship. However, I've discovered over the past couple of years (even when I was with my previous boyfriend) that I do not like porn with men in it. I like lesbian porn! And anytime I've masturbated I've fantasized about women (never one that I know or have seen.) It's made me very uncomfortable, finally admitting it to myself. I do remember when I was in 7th grade there was a new girl at our school. When she got a boyfriend I was very jealous; I just assumed it was because she was new and I didn't have all her attention *ha* Is this normal? Am I out of my mind!?


Is it safe to chew and spit out food?

I have been chewing and spitting large amounts of food (pretty much always sweet stuff — pastries, chocolate, etc.) almost every night for eight or nine months. I am eating a healthy, balanced diet otherwise, maybe a little on the lower caloric side (1300 to 1500 calories per day). My chewing and spitting sessions usually follow a balanced meal. I know this is a type of eating disorder. I have done a lot of research online and I know that there are side effects, although they vary depending on who you ask. Some sites mention that chewing and spitting activates the release of insulin and results in hyperinsulinemia, insulin resistance and weight gain. Is this true? How long would it take to develop these problems? Are these reversible if I were to stop this behavior?


How can I feel more comfortable with co-ed bathrooms?

I'm a new student at my school and have a kind of odd problem. You see, I went to a really conservative boarding school and was never very comfortable with my body (especially when it entailed someone else seeing it naked!), so this whole co-ed bathroom thing is freakin' me out! I know this is pretty silly, but every time I shower I become paranoid that a guy is on the verge of accidentally pulling back the curtain (or worse yet — can see my nude silhouette through those revealing plastic sheets). I just unpacked and classes start tomorrow so I don't want to move out of my dorm... please help or else my speedy showers are going to lead to a stinky start!


Is it normal for straight men to masturbate together?

1) I'm a 21 year old male virgin. I have a male friend the same age. Every now and then we watch an X-rated movie together and masturbate at the same time and in the same room. We have done this for a number of years. We are both straight. Is this a normal act for men or not?

2) I'm male and eighteen. I have known my best friend for over two years now. He is the same age, and we are roommates in college. We are straight and love women. But every now and then we will sit beside each other and masturbate each other before we go to bed. Is this normal? Or is there something wrong? Should we be doing this at all?


Why am I insatiably hungry and losing weight?

I've read a lot lately about midnight snacking and late night eating and obesity and calorie worries, but my problem lies in the opposite direction — I'm LOSING weight, and insatiably hungry, day and night! The only advice I get is, "Eat healthy," which is preaching to the choir, since I consume more fresh produce, mostly vegetables, and home-cook all my own meals. At a recent nutrition check-up, the nutritionist patted me on the back in congratulations for having one of the healthiest lifestyles he's seen, and shrugged at my inexplicable hunger. The fact is, I'm in the kitchen every other hour, and my body doesn't differentiate between awake and asleep anymore when it comes to hunger. I go to bed on a full stomach, and wake up every three hours to eat again. It's exhausting! I'm falling asleep during the day — but never more than an hour, because hunger strikes. And amid all this, my grocery bill climbs and my weight drops. I don't get it. What am I doing wrong?


Why is mpox being spoken about as if it's a gay STD?

So I'm wondering some stuff about mpox. Why is mpox being spoken about as if it's a gay STD? Mpox can be spread through nonsexual contact and fomite transmission, according to health authorities, and many other diseases such as the flu and corona can be obviously spread through sexual intercourse (via close contact). Additionally, according to the CDC, Ebola can be spread through semen of a previously infected male a while after recovery while not symptomatic (which appears to be unlike mpox in which it's only spread while actively symptomatic and, although mpox is extremely severe, it doesn't last for more than several weeks) but Ebola isn't thought of as a STD (and of course Ebola can obviously be spread through nonsexual as well as sexual contact) just like corona and the flu among many other diseases. Yet mpox is basically now thought of as being a STD — and a gay STD at that — whereas other diseases that also spread through nonsexual means like mpox aren't. This is very concerning to me both because it would be contributing to ineffective containment measures which would let mpox continue spreading and because it could lead to an increase in discrimination against an already marginalized demographic. What's going on here?


Can I lose fat and build muscle mass at the same time?

A friend of mine and I were disagreeing about this point and I thought maybe you could help. I have heard that it is not possible to both lose fat and build muscle mass simultaneously: ideally, a person should do cardiovascular exercise with dieting to lose extra body fat, and then start to focus on building up muscle mass. He says it's possible to both burn fat and build up muscle over the same period of time. Which is the case?


What should I do if I want to be a gay man though I'm a straight female?

I am a straight female in my mid-twenties. Well, not really. Ever since my childhood I have been fantasizing about being a male. Specifically, I increasingly fantasize about being a homosexual male and even have dreams of having male organs. I have a steady boyfriend that enjoys anal play which really excites me (I imagine myself having anal intercourse with him). Since I am not technically a male, I also enjoy watching homosexual intercourse and fantasize about watching my boyfriend with another man.

I feel like I am having sexual identity issues. Have you heard of anyone else having a similar experience? Do you think a bisexual partner would be ideal for me? Do you think role playing or three-way sexual experience would help me get satisfied?


Am I the right BMI and weight for my height?

1) A friend and I were discussing this. We both try to stay healthy by eating well (high fiber, low fat, lots of veggies, fruit, etc.) and living an active enough lifestyle (hiking, rock climbing, biking, etc.) that we stay in shape. The question we have, then, is what the current "rules" are for appropriate weight/height ratios? Or are such measurements now thrown out in favor of body fat percentage measurements? She's 5'1" and I'm 6'1" and we're curious what the medical rule of thumb would be for how much each of us "should" weigh...mostly because we're wondering if it takes into account things like muscle mass. What would the current medical/health industry recommend each of us weigh? Are these numbers accepted or are they seen as not as important as they might have been 20 years ago. If you have actual numbers, we'd be curious to see that too. Thanks! I have a dinner riding on this!

2) Could you clarify the Body Mass Index deal? According to one BMI chart, I am "slightly overweight" because I am 5' 5-1/2" tall and weigh 160 lb. I am also very muscular and have a large frame. The lower BMI readings are labeled "ideal," but I've heard muscle weighs more than fat, so if the chart does not include the muscle factor, is it basically saying that it's "ideal" NOT to have extra muscle? I look slender and have never been told by a doctor to lose weight. I'm a twenty-four-year-old female, lacto-ovo-vegetarian, and get lots of exercise, including walking and frequent "sweaty" workouts.


Does exercising on an empty stomach maximize fat burning?

I have recently learned that in order to burn fat as a fuel, your body requires carbohydrate. Up until this point I had been doing cardio training first thing in the morning on an empty stomach, as I had read that this is optimum for fat burning. However, now I have a small carbohydrate snack before I train in order to prevent my body using lean muscle tissue as a fuel. Today I have again read in another book that training on an empty stomach first thing in the morning burns the most fat. I am a little confused over the best thing to do! I train with weights twice a week and do cardio three times per week. I do want to maintain my lean muscle, but am looking to reduce my body fat.


Is there a connection between cortisol, depression, and weight loss?

I recently went to my doctor because I've been unable to lose weight. I've been on a successful diet, accompanied with a reasonable exercise plan, but I've seen no real results. A series of tests were run — I've got optimum blood pressure, low cholesterol, and I am not diabetic. But, when my cortisol levels were checked — they were very high. The doctor suspected there was a possibility that I might have Cushings' Syndrome — but another test was run and that came up negative.

I was doing research on the internet, and I found that there was a link between excessive cortisol and depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 12 (I am now 21). And I am currently untreated. What is the link between cortisol levels and depression? Are excessive cortisol levels a physical manifestation of depression? Or does an excess of cortisol for some other reason cause depression? Does an excessive amount of cortisol cause weight gain, or in my case prohibit weight loss? And if there is a connection — will treatment for my clinical depression (in the form of prescription pills) help me?

I've been unable to find answers anywhere, or at least a good source to tell me to stop worrying — any help would be appreciated.


Can you lose weight if you meet your caloric goal early in the day?

My friends and I disagree — can you settle the dispute? I feel a calorie is a calorie no matter what time of day that you eat it. They say that if you eat all of your calories early in the day, that it is less fattening, because you will be moving around burning off those calories. I say that if you eat 1800 calories a day, it doesn't matter if you eat them in five meals or ten meals, it is still 1800 calories. I believe that the idea of not eating anything after 7 p.m. helps you to lose weight because you cut out the high calorie, high fat foods that are often eaten late in the evening. They say that by not eating after 7 p.m., you lose weight because you're not moving to burn off those calories. Please settle the dispute. Thanks.


Why do people do drag?

I have a friend who recently came out of the closet, and now he's very involved in his college GLSBT (not sure if I have the letters right) community. My question is this: He has now, as a matter of pride and fun, I think, become involved in drag shows. He looks pretty good as a woman, if I do say so, but I just don't get it. What's the point of drag? Why do gay men do it? It's especially confusing for me because I don't hear of lesbian women dressing up as men, or at least not as much, and it's not a "spectacle" like drag shows are. I'm just confused — what exactly is drag FOR?


Is liposuction permanent fat removal?

My husband and I are having a debate over the value of liposuction as a means to permanent fat removal. He has read that we are born with specific number of fat cells and therefore believes liposuction has the ability to reduce the number, resulting in permanent fat loss in the areas that are surgically treated. I differ in the belief that fat loss and its permanency depends on maintaining and correcting diet that is related to metabolism. I also maintain that there is no such thing as permanent fat loss from liposuction. Have you an answer to our debate?


How to gain weight while recovering from bulimia?

I was bulimic for about four or five months and went from 5'6.5" at 115 pounds to 95 pounds. I have not told anyone, and will not, so please don't ask me to, but I am back up to 110 to 112 pounds and pretty much graze throughout the day so I don't throw up. I mostly snack on white bread, fruit, potatoes, and cereal in large portions, but want to stop and eat a healthy, more balanced diet. The problem is, I am not sure what a healthy weight should be. Charts say I am too skinny, but I don't believe it because I know girls in the media are thinner than me and they seem fine. I want to be as small a weight as possible without being unhealthy. I skipped my period for three months but did get it in January. I have not lost any weight since then though, and I should have gotten my period about a week ago but didn't. I don't understand, it is so confusing, can you help me?


Should I come out as transgender?

I want to become a male but I'm trapped in a female's body. I recently saw "Boys Don't Cry" and everything Teena felt I felt. Becoming a male would make me truly happy but I'm hopeless and desperate for a first step to take. I only cross dress in privacy and around my close confidants. My mother would die if she found out. Lately I have been feeling suicidal over my complete and dire unhappiness and uneasiness. PLEASE HELP ME!


Do diet teas and meal-substitute shakes work to lose weight?

I've been trying to diet for over two years. My goal is to lose about 25 pounds, but the most I've been able to get is 15, and I can hardly keep it off. I concentrate on eating very little and since exercise is so hard to keep up, I pretty much starve myself to death. I manage to maintain the weight for a month, and then I lose control again. I've been thinking about the various diet products in the market, such as diet teas, herbs, meal- substitution shakes, and other medical products. I'd like to know what kind of side-effects they have, and how effective they are. (Some boast a seven-day plan, but that seems hardly believable.) Also, I'd like to know how well-researched the information is on these products (i.e., are they long-term enough to cover all the side-effects?) As for aspartame, is it really harmless, or is it just not researched yet?


Can you revitalize your sex drive?

My wife never liked sex when she was younger even though she had about a dozen partners. When she met me all that changed and she loved making love every night for about a year. Her sex drive then began to lessen until she finally does not like it at all. She believes it is a physical act that she can do without, whereas I believe it is the ultimate form of intimacy. Do you have any suggestions for her to revitalize her sex drive since right now we are not making love at all?


Is body fat genetic?

I am a female, five feet tall and about 127 lbs. I am not satisfied with my size. I am not obsessed with weight but with the way I look. I am very strong and have plenty of muscle. It just happens to be covered by a thick layer of fat. Yes, it runs in my family. On my father's side everyone has trouble with their weight.

I am writing to you because I don't understand why I am not losing weight. I am a vegan. I have no dairy products and no fat content in my diet. Except for the occasional pat of margarine and fried falafel, I don't see why I haven't lost weight because I just cut the dairy products out about two months ago. I have been a vegetarian for 9 years. I ride a stationary bike twice a week in my target heart rate zone. I work out with weights and do calisthenics in my room every night. What is wrong? Is there another factor I am not considering? Glands? Do I just need to be patient? I like being big, I just don't want it all to be fat.

Thank You.


Does your metabolism slow when you hit 30?

I'm a 22-year-old woman. Many of my friends in their late 20s and early 30s (and older) have been warning me about an inevitable metabolism slow-down and subsequent weight gain around my 30th birthday. They say, "You just wait. When I was your age, I sat around all day eating pizza and I never gained a pound. Now I can't lose weight no matter what I do."

I am sure there's some truth to this, but I DON'T sit around eating pizza all day. I run three to four times a week and eat very healthfully. Will these habits ease the slowing down of my metabolism? Or should I expect some weight gain no matter what I do (as they say will happen)?


Is it better to spread out or binge alcohol consumption?

I am a healthy, fit, 18-year-old male. I have tried both ways: consuming small amounts of alcohol regularly (one standard drink a day) and consuming a lot of alcohol irregularly (10 to 20 standard drinks in one night, but only two days a month, or thereabouts).

I have tended towards drinking a lot irregularly because I have found that I can't notice any effects until I have had at least four or five drinks, 80 to 100 proof shots, usually mixed with soft drink.

I was wondering if either way was less healthy or more of a risk as the same amount of alcohol is ultimately consumed. Also, I noticed that I got a bit more of a 'beer gut' when I had one-a-day than 15 at once; is that likely or just my imagination?


Do you have suggestions for an effective, short-term weight loss and toning plan?

I am 18 years old and I am determined to lose a few pounds and tone my body by the end of May. I just began running and I'm starting off by running a mile and hope to work up to a four-mile run four or five days a week. My diet is generally a bowl of cereal in the morning, and a turkey or ham sandwich with some type of fruit and a bottle of water. Dinner is something different every day, but usually healthy. I also have been doing an ab workout for about seven minutes after I run. Is what I'm doing effective? What are your suggestions?


How can I cook for my partner who has different nutritional needs?

I have a job that is largely sedentary — mostly sitting in an office in front of a computer. My partner's work is very physically active. Since we've been living together, food and nutrition have increasingly become a source of stress and conflict. He needs big meals with lots of protein and calories, and I need better portion control with lots of vegetables. We're having real problems with shopping and menu planning. Since we've been living together, I've been gaining weight and he's been losing! Can you give us any advice or direct us to information on how to live and eat together while addressing both of our nutritional needs?


Am I under eating and overexercising?

I am very concerned about my eating and exercise habits. I'm a first-year, and since I got here last fall, I've lost about 35 pounds. I've been exercising almost obsessively and eating a rigid, low-fat diet. I try to eat about 2000 calories a day, but still feel hungry a lot (especially in the morning) and still seem to be losing weight at the rate of about a pound a week. I'm 6'0" tall and weigh 133 lbs. right now; my family and friends are all worried and although I keep telling them I'm not sick, I wonder if I am. I've seen a nutritionist in Health Services; she gave me some advice about good nutrition and what I should be eating, and I've been trying to follow her guidelines, but it's gotten very hard for me to know what is a "normal" diet. Am I anorexic? If I am, what can I do to help myself? I know I could never go to counseling; I'm too independent. Can you give me any advice?


Is it okay to replace cravings or "boredom eating" with herbal teas?

I am currently trying to revise my eating habits to eat less often (I'm a throughout the day snacker, and normally don't eat meals). Is it okay to replace cravings or "boredom eating" with herbal teas? I was told that tea is a no calorie drink, and yet it fills me up when I'm hungry. I have started to replace most of my cravings with tea now, so that I actually eat a lot less than before. Is tea healthy for you if it is no caffeine, herbal, and I use honey to sweeten it? I am not used to drinking much of anything in the day and am fairly slim, so could the extra water intake have any weight gaining effects on me? Could this be a healthy diet?


Do male-identified people have body image concerns?

1) My boyfriend, who I have been dating for a while now, says that he is fat and I don't think he is. He is built, but he isn't fat. And he talks about it all the time, and I just don't know what to say to him. He said that when he used to talk with his other girlfriend about it, that she would say, "well, go on a diet," and he said that made him feel like he was fat. And I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I know that by losing weight, he would feel better about himself. But I like him for who he is and how he looks. But what should I say to him when he says things like he is fat, do you think I'm fat, etc.?

2) I am a male, 24 years old, height 5'10", and currently I weigh 143 lbs... When I was 17 or so, I weighed a hefty 190 lbs... at that time, that really had a negative effect on my self image, and now at 143, I still don't think I'm thin enough... I have lost all my weight 100 percent through diet and running about 20 miles/week... but I don't eat enough and I always worry before I leave home if I "look ok"? Do I have serious issues?!?


How to gain weight?

I am a 22-year-old male. I would like your advice as to how to increase my weight. I am extremely thin, and would like to put on weight for both appearance and strength purposes.

I believe that thin people have a very fast metabolic rate. Is there any way of slowing this rate down? Does it fall naturally with age? I have often been told that I should lift weights, but cannot find time on a regular basis to do so. I do, however, have time to do push-ups at home.

Anyway, I'd much appreciate it if you could give me guidelines as to how to increase weight, especially through diet. What kinds of food should I be eating? How many times a day should I eat? How big should the meals be? I hear the soybean is very nutritious — is this true; if so, what could I eat or drink that contains soy?


Am I bulimic, or is it just a phase?

I am a college freshman and I think I'm on my way to becoming bulimic. Since my junior year of high school, I have periodically binged and tried to purge, but I was never really successful and it was never frequent. My senior year I made myself semi-successfully throw up for the first time, but it was gross and scary and made my throat bleed and I stopped. However, since I've gotten to school this year, I feel like things have gotten out of control. I started out eating healthfully and losing weight, because I am about 15 pounds overweight and need to make a lower weight class for my sport. (I am at a high level and compete internationally.) I'm also terrified of the "freshman fifteen" since I've always been chubby at the least. I couldn't keep up my healthy eating and snapped, and now I binge all the time and for the past few weeks have been throwing up. I think I could stop but I'm not sure. Am I bulimic or just going through typical freshman food phase?

Thanks for any advice.