Dear Alice,

I am a twenty-three-year-old man, and I haven't had any kind of sexual intercourse for the last year and a half. I have gone this long because I am intimidated by women. Even though friends and women tell me that I am attractive, I am still very self-conscious about my physical appearance. I always feel that women will not take me seriously because of my height (5'5"). What should I do?

— Self-conscious

Dear Self-conscious,

From the sound of your letter, it seems that you have had sexual intercourse in your life, previous to the last year and a half. So, don't forget that some women have already taken you seriously, regardless of your height! You need to remember (all the time!) that what's more important than your height itself is how you feel about your height. If your height bothers you, and you walk around feeling self-conscious and intimidated, people will respond to your self-consciousness and your feelings of inadequacy. If, on the other hand, you know that you're a good person, attractive, and a young healthy guy, and project THAT image to the world, women will respond to you in a different way. Sure, some women will prefer to date a taller guy — but some women prefer those on the shorter side, too. So, focus on your good qualities and meet lots of people. At some point, the chemistry will be right, and, rather than being intimidated, you'll both be wanting to check out each other more intimately. Good luck!


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