Horny all the time?

Dear Horny, 

Masturbating two or three times per week, having erections (even in relatively non-sexual settings), and thinking about your sexual wants and needs are all behaviors that may be more common than you think. Your levels of horniness can increase or decrease when under stress and when inundated by stimuli, including memories or desires. 

Rest assured, spontaneous or random erections are common. While random erections occur more frequently in teenagers and young adults, they can happen at any age. The exact reason they happen is unclear, but they may be related to physical stimulation, shifts in hormones, and varying brain activity. Remember, erections are simply a reaction to a sexual signal, including the sexual thoughts you find yourself having during class. If your erections are causing you pain or you'd like a second opinion on the frequency of your random erections, consider speaking with a trusted health care provider to rule out any potential underlying health conditions. 

The good news is when you do get erections in class, there are ways of remaining discreet. Undoubtedly you already have a few tricks that help you get through those moments. Avoid touching your erection, as this can increase the time it takes to lose your erection. Covering your crotch with an object or bunching your pants in the crotch region can draw attention away from the area. Often, if you think about something asexual, or something that is a total turn-off (like your next exam), it may help you to lose your erection. 

If you're feeling as though your sexual urges are beginning to interfere with other areas of your life, it could be a sign of compulsive sexual behavior. Compulsive sexual behavior is sometimes called hypersexuality, hypersexuality disorder, or sexual addiction. Symptoms of compulsive sexual behavior include: 

• Intense, frequent sexual fantasies that take up a lot of your time and feel difficult to control. 
• Feeling driven to do certain sexual behaviors that end in release, but you also experience guilt or shame afterward. 
• You've tried to control your sexual urges and fantasies on your own with no success.  
• Having trouble making and maintaining stable relationships. 

List adapted from Mayo Clinic 

Meeting and talking with a health care provider or mental health professional about your concerns can help them determine if you meet the criteria of compulsive sexual behavior and recommend the best course of treatment if you do. 

In the meantime, have you thought about some healthy ways of discharging your (sexual) energy? How about masturbating more frequently? What about exercise? Other forms of stress relief? Keep in mind that the frequency of sexual desire can (and likely will) change a number of times during the lifespan. What you choose as a way to handle situations today may not work forever. Be creative in expressing your desire and handling your needs. 

In terms of the woman you have a crush on, you could try talking with her. Sometimes, by acting on your feelings you can put this looming sexual energy into perspective.  Perhaps you two have more in common than you realize. Talking is a great first step toward exploring feelings and may prove to be a productive outlet for your sexual energy. 

Best of luck to you!