How effective are at-home HIV testing kits?

I got tested for HIV a year and a half ago. Since then, I've been with two other people. One guy was a virgin but we had unprotected sex sometimes. He was tested in December (after us being together for one year) and it came back negative. I'm afraid to get tested again because I heard that the guy I was with two years ago before I was tested is HIV positive. I was already tested after I heard this and it came back negative. But, people around campus just won't stopped talking and I'm starting to panic. So, I thought about doing an at-home test because I'm too scared to go to the clinic. I found an at home test that says that you can get at home results in 15 minutes.

It's called the HOME ACCESS and it says it's FDA-approved. Is this accurate? Also, I have another question: with the information I provided you, do you think I'm at risk?


Can supplements affect birth control effectiveness?

1) Is it true that taking those Emergen-C packets or any other vitamin supplements can effect the effectiveness of your birth control pill?

2) I know antibiotics can lower the effectiveness of birth control, but can probiotics or prebiotics, such as a floral acidophilus FOS, also decrease effectiveness? I've been taking birth control pills for the past 10 years with no scares or baby bumps, and I don't want to wake up pregnant one day because I took a capsule that's supposed to be healthy! :)


What can I do about burnout?

I've never been very good at managing my time, getting homework done, or staying organized. Yet, I learned to work around this and get things done rather successfully. However, recently, I haven't been able to do ANYTHING. I can't get school work done. It's starting to impact my grades. I think this might be a result of a stressful junior year combined with a stressful summer job. I worked 50 hours a week at an understaffed Boys and Girls Club. There might be something about taking care of children — many with serious family/home issues — that really drained me. I only had about a week of summer vacation where I wasn't either working or at home with pneumonia. I went from a rough summer into a difficult senior year. Now, I feel like I need a break to collect myself, but I know I won't get that break until I graduate. What can I do? I don't think I need new organizational strategies, I've picked those up over the years, but then again if I knew what I needed I guess I wouldn't be asking!


How do I get the most out of an all-nighter?

Some roommates of mine and I have been thinking about sleeping lately.

Usually we're all told to get eight to nine hours of sleep, and a lot of the time we do! The problem is, once in a while, when there's an essay to write or exam to study for, I or my friends may end up having no choice but to be up until 6 in the morning. No one's really explained what the best thing is to do if you have to be up.

What would you suggest? Should we eat? Take a quick nap before class, sleep during the afternoon or wait until evening? Any suggestions you have would be great.


How can I help my friend who struggles with mental health and can't afford professional support?

1) I have a close friend who has a number of rather difficult issues. One of the most important is a long history of abuse (largely psychological) from her mother during her childhood. (She is now 19.) It is incredibly difficult to talk to her about any of these things. I would like her to see Psych Services, but I am worried about the fact that there are only a limited number of sessions available — that is actually one of the reasons she has offered to me as to why it would be a waste of time to go. Unfortunately, the only medical coverage she has is through her mother's medical insurance, she has no real money outside of her parent's control — it would be extremely difficult for her to pay for counseling, in other words, without alerting her parents. What can she do? What can I do?

2) I am actually asking for a friend of mine since this situation is getting worse, and I don't know how to help. The problem is that my friend is very depressed, and has very, very low self-esteem. While sometimes able to be cheerful and "happy," he claims to rarely feel that way and mostly just hates himself. He has mentioned suicide, although I think this is more an expression of the extreme self-hatred he feels than anything. I comfort him and often tell him how wonderful he is — what a good person, good qualities, etc., but I suspect he does not believe me at all. This has been going on for a long time now, and I think it stems from a somewhat unhappy childhood and adolescence. I don't know how to help him and I don't know what to do. I feel like being strong for him is just not enough, and I can't quite convince him that counseling may do some good. It seems to me that, recently, he has been feeling even worse about himself, to the point where nothing will comfort him. He cannot afford counseling, and he has no health insurance. Is there anything you can suggest for me to tell him or suggest to him? Any help will be greatly appreciated, because I just don't how to help him. Thank you so much.


What’s the deal with my bad breath?

1) I often have a bad taste in my mouth, and bad breath as well, I assume. This doesn't stem from poor hygiene: I brush my teeth at least three times a day, and usually more. I'm wondering if there is anything I can do about this. Could this be a symptom of some sort of nutritional deficiency? I think my diet is pretty bad, although I'm working pretty hard on getting more protein and eating less fat. I've also been nauseous a lot lately, and vomiting some. Could that be related?

2) Like many people, I often have an embarrassing bad breath. Listerine and other mouthwashes won't be of any help for this chronic problem. There are lots of products available to get rid of "volatile sulfur compounds (VSC)" - that supposedly cause this — and I just don't know which one I should try. Also, what's your opinion on tongue-brushing?


How do I feel more comfortable with a new sex partner?

First, I'd like to thank you for this service! It's been so informative to read the advice you've given others. I'm a female grad student and have just gotten into a relationship for the first time. I have a few questions regarding oral sex: my boyfriend loves to suck my nipples and I feel great when he's doing it, but after a while, my nipples start to feel tender and actually hurt sometimes... is this normal? He's not rough when he's doing it, so I'm not sure why this happens.

Also, when my boyfriend "goes down" on me, I worry about what he thinks of my smell and taste. He says he likes it, but I can't be sure... is there some way of finding out if my scent is normal? Can he pass any infections (to my vagina) from his saliva? (He has had only 1 one-night stand affair and he used a condom that time).

Also, I masturbate him (I stroke his penis) until he "comes," but I'm afraid of tasting his "come." He hasn't asked me to, but I think he would like it if I did... how can I overcome this inhibition? Are there any risks for me? I appreciate any help/advice... Thanks a lot!


Can I bond with teammates without alcohol?

I am a freshman on a collegiate varsity sports team. Team gatherings, when we are not practicing, usually consist of excessive drinking with and without drinking games. I did not drink in high school and when I tried drinking with the team it made me feel really sick. I want to bond with my teammates (they are really great when not drunk) but I don't know how because if I am the only guy in the room not drinking I can't play drinking games with them, discuss favorite types of alcohol, or even carry on a real conversation because at a certain point in the night they stop forming coherent sentences. I need to be friends with this group of people but I would like to do so in a way that allows me to remember the night in the morning. Is this possible? What should I do?

While I don't really approve of their lifestyle (why devote six days a week to practice only to reduce your performance with alcohol?), I make no moral judgement. I don't want to change their way of doing things, I just want them to respect my way.


How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


Why can’t I control my bladder?

1) When I was a child, I used to wet the bed. This finally cleared up when I was about twelve. In the last month or so, it has come back — except it's even more embarrassing now because I'm twenty-eight and share my bed with my husband! It started when I had a bad cold, so I thought perhaps it was just stress incontinence caused by coughing while asleep. I do suffer somewhat from stress incontinence, but I learned to deal with it when awake by clamping my legs together whenever I cough or sneeze. I talked to my doctor about this, and he also thought it was due to coughing while asleep. He treated my cough and assured me that once the cough was gone, the bedwetting would be, too. Well, my cough has cleared up, but I am still wetting the bed almost every night! It's mortifying, and I feel like my husband finds me disgusting (not that I really blame him). He says it doesn't matter to him, but I feel like I ought to be put in a nursing home. Is there anything I can do to stop this?

2) I have an embarrassing problem that has always held me from going to a doctor. I do not know if it's called incontinence. When I'm out of the rest room, I always find a few drops of urine being discharged later in my dress. This usually occurs when I bend down, or when I sneeze, or sometimes even due to a jerk. I have tried to prevent this many a time by remaining in the comfort room for invariably a long time trying to make sure that I'm done fully, but in vain.

Being a Muslim, I always find it very difficult to offer my prayers due to this. I'm suffering from this problem for a long time. Would you please advise if there is any cure for this? Can some pills treat this or an operation is a must?


What are the side effects of masturbation?

1) Having read a few posts related to the question, "Is masturbation harmful?", most of the answers I've seen seem to suggest that the only possible harm could be psychological, in the sense that masturbation may be a distraction from one's normal routine.

What about the actual PHYSICAL side effects? Some things can not be dismissed as mere "wives' tales"! For example, when I masturbate often, I do notice a darkening under my eyes. I am only 28, but having been at this a while, it does seem as though I can not as easily become erect, or stay erect for as long as I used to. I may not have grown hair on my palms, but I have noticed (and I'm willing to concede that there may be no causal relationship here) that I have become somewhat hairier, in all the wrong places.

Please set the record straight as to what, if any, harmful PHYSICAL side effects may result from masturbation, and why, in the face of my testimonial and no doubt countless others, such symptoms as I have described are dismissed by yourself and your peers as "myths."

2) Does masturbation affect your growth if you are not yet fully grown?


What are the effects of staying awake for long periods of time?

1) What are the long-term effects of sleep deprivation?

2) Me and a few friends are planning on doing a fundraiser where we stay awake for five days straight. At first it was a great idea, but I started thinking about if there might be some serious damage to our bodies for staying awake that long. Will there be any long-term or short-term damage for staying awake for five days? If so, is it safer to stay awake for three or four days?

And how long can the body really go without sleep?


Am I the right BMI and weight for my height?

1) A friend and I were discussing this. We both try to stay healthy by eating well (high fiber, low fat, lots of veggies, fruit, etc.) and living an active enough lifestyle (hiking, rock climbing, biking, etc.) that we stay in shape. The question we have, then, is what the current "rules" are for appropriate weight/height ratios? Or are such measurements now thrown out in favor of body fat percentage measurements? She's 5'1" and I'm 6'1" and we're curious what the medical rule of thumb would be for how much each of us "should" weigh...mostly because we're wondering if it takes into account things like muscle mass. What would the current medical/health industry recommend each of us weigh? Are these numbers accepted or are they seen as not as important as they might have been 20 years ago. If you have actual numbers, we'd be curious to see that too. Thanks! I have a dinner riding on this!

2) Could you clarify the Body Mass Index deal? According to one BMI chart, I am "slightly overweight" because I am 5' 5-1/2" tall and weigh 160 lb. I am also very muscular and have a large frame. The lower BMI readings are labeled "ideal," but I've heard muscle weighs more than fat, so if the chart does not include the muscle factor, is it basically saying that it's "ideal" NOT to have extra muscle? I look slender and have never been told by a doctor to lose weight. I'm a twenty-four-year-old female, lacto-ovo-vegetarian, and get lots of exercise, including walking and frequent "sweaty" workouts.


Am I being teased or abused?

What is the criteria for determining if a relationship is abusive? My husband has never struck me in anger or injured me, but he is constantly poking, tickling, flicking me, etc. When I tell him to stop, he usually says, "Why should I?" and continues a little bit more. It's like a kid tormenting a little sister. He gets right in my face and sometimes pokes me in the chest while he's telling me something. There's never any anger until I get mad at him for doing it, and then he tells me he's just playing. The other night when I told him to stop poking me, he said, "I'll do whatever I want." That really bothered me. When he does get angry, he usually just ignores me, but occasionally he'll throw something (but not at me). What do you think? How can I make him understand that his "playing" is upsetting? Is this type of behavior a precursor of actual violence?


Does wearing ear plugs disrupt the natural ear cleaning process?

I am a very light sleeper so I began wearing ear plugs to be able to sleep uninterruptedly. I moved into a quieter neighborhood now and thought that I would be able to sleep without them but it turns out that my boyfriend is a snorer and so I have to keep wearing them. I know that ears clean themselves out at night but because I'm wearing the ear plugs I have a lot of wax build-up. How can I clean my ears? And also, do you think that prolonged use of ear plugs can cause some kind of damage?


Should I be concerned about BPA from hard plastic water bottles?

I use Nalgene bottles for about 75 percent of the water I drink each day. Therefore, I was startled to find out that there is some possibility that these bottles leach chemicals into the water. I've found conflicting opinions about the veracity of these claims on the Internet. What's the truth? Should I dump my Nalgene for glass? You have an earlier post about bottled water, but it doesn't seem to address this issue specifically, and you recommend purchasing reusable bottles like the ones that might be poisoning me. The bottles I use have #7 on the bottom in the recycle symbol.


At what age can I get the HPV vaccine?

I am 28 years old, and became sexually active two years ago. My husband is the only man I've ever had sex with, and I am his only sexual partner as well. Where does the gene or whatever it is that the HPV vaccine helps guard against come from? Because I'm too old to get the vaccine, are my chances of getting cervical cancer from this particular gene increased then? Thank you for your help.


What are my chances of getting cancer if I have high-risk HPV?

I just found out I tested positive for high-risk HPV. My pap smears have been normal for years. I'm 45 years old and have had lots of basal cell skin cancer. I'm scared to death of getting cancers that are caused by HPV. I'm so stressed. What are the odds that I will actually get cancer, now that I am supposedly high-risk? It appears there it nothing I can do at all to prevent this from happening other than keeping up with my visits and pap smears and hoping I beat the odds. I just wonder at how much risk am I when they say I am HIGH-RISK???


Does sweating release toxins?

After practicing yoga in normal temperatures for years, I recently attended a heated yoga class (heated quite hot: 95 to 100 degrees!). The experience left me dizzy, nauseous, and completely enervated. Afterwards, I expressed my concern to the teacher, asking why the studio needed to be so hot. She "explained" that by sweating, supposedly the body releases "toxins" and that my nausea and dizziness must indicate that I need to "detox." Personally, I think I was suffering from heat exhaustion. I've heard this silly explanation more than once, as many people seem to believe toxins are released through sweat. But is that true??? And — next question — doesn't exerting oneself in extremely hot temperatures seem like a recipe for dehydration? Are their any benefits that make it worthwhile, or is all this heated yoga just nonsense?


Are there routine STI tests that I should be doing?

I have talked to my doctor, to my local Planned Parenthood, and to the local health department. I have gotten the same story from all of them, that unless there are symptoms or a reason, one shouldn't have STD lab work done (or that there wasn't a 'routine' inclusive screen). It wasn't until recently that I discovered that a lot of STDs are asymptomatic. Are there 'routine' tests that should be performed for each of us (besides my normal annual)? If so, where can one go for this kind of testing and what should be tested for?


What can I do if wellbutrin makes me jittery?

I'm a senior, and for the past three years, I've been using an antidepressant called Celexa to treat my chemical depression. Recently, I asked my doctor if I could switch to Wellbutrin, because it has lower sexual side effects. I feel much better emotionally on Wellbutrin, and I am experiencing much more sexual drive and pleasure these days. However, the stupid pill makes me very jittery — slightly nervous and very twitchy, you know, like a bunny's nose. What should I do? I'm feeling so much better on this drug, but I can't go through life feeling jittery all the time.


Will an abortion ruin our relationship?

Recently my girlfriend and I purchased a home pregnancy test and it came out positive. Four days later, we were sitting in a clinic awaiting her name to be called for an abortion. My girlfriend wouldn't hear of any idea but going through the process as quickly as possible.

Throughout the entire experience I tried to be as supportive as possible, taking as much care of her and giving her as much love as I could, and in the meantime suppressing as much of the stress I was under as I could; she has even told me that I was 'perfect' throughout the whole thing. The period following the procedure, though, has been a roller coaster ride: she was subject to mood swings, going from a state of total bliss in my company to practically despising my existence.

She told me she wants time away from me. She is convinced that an experience like this (an abortion) irrevocably changes a relationship. She is pro-choice, but this abortion has affected her more than she expected; she cannot shake the feeling that she killed our child — she has even dreamed about the would-be baby...

Now, I understand that an abortion can bring a person to her emotional knees, regardless of how she might have thought about it previously. But here I am witnessing her shutting me completely out... and I ask myself, is this how it has to be? I love her very, very much — she absolutely means the world to me. She has repeatedly let me know she feels the same about me. How do people deal with this crisis? Is this common? What are the resources available for CU students, post-abortion? How do I convince her that this doesn't have to be the undoing of our relationship, or am I wrong in believing this fate can be avoided?


Are overcooked pasta and beans still nutritious?

I know if I cook vegetables too long, they would lose nutrients. How about pasta and beans? Do they lose their carbohydrates and proteins and other nutrients in them if I cook too long? I always cook pasta and beans for over an hour because I like nice and soft and plumed pastas and beans. Am I eating zero nutritious pasta and beans?


Should I come out as bi and tell my friend I’m interested in them?

1) I am a 19 year old female, and I am bisexual. I haven't come out of the closet yet, but I have told one really trustworthy friend. I am really afraid to come out of the closet because I know that my family will never accept it. That and one of my friends, I sort of like but I would never do anything to make her feel uncomfortable. So I haven't told her yet either. What do I do? I hate this whole being in the middle thing. She is really a great person and I can totally understand if she doesn't have the same feelings I do about her but I would really like to tell her the way I feel with out ruining our friendship if I did tell her. I know it's a rock and a hard place but do you have any advice for me? It would really be appreciated.

2) I'm an eighteen-year-old male. I'm beginning to become good friends with a guy, but I'm also feeling that I want something beyond friendship with him. I know that I'm bi, but I have never expressed it to anyone. I guess I fear the social implications of it, but then again I am a very liberal person. I can't stop thinking of this guy, not necessarily in a sexual way, but in a "relationship" context. He isn't dating anyone, but I have no idea if he is bi/gay or straight (he hasn't made any announcements, but he seems to be "playing it straight" as I am).

What should I do? I don't want to destroy a potential friendship by approaching him about this. But, I've never felt this way about anyone (male or female) and I don't want to let a potential opportunity slip by and be miserable. I'd also rather keep my sexuality a private thing, but I do think I can trust him.


What's polycystic ovary syndrome?

1) This is in reference to your Missed periods Q&A. Another cause of missed or late periods is PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). A lot of health care providers don't seem to be aware of this syndrome. In this syndrome, missed or irregular periods are caused by unusual hormone levels, sometimes in combination with insulin intolerance. Because missed and irregular periods cause scar tissue build-up in the uterus (which may cause endometrial cancer) and may cause infertility, it is important that your readers know to ask their health care provider about this syndrome. There are obviously other symptoms and complications, but I just thought that I might mention it to you so that you might read up on it for your readers. Thank you.

2) I was recently diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). I'm only 17 and am afraid that this will affect my chance of having children. Should I worry? Also, I know birth control pills will help me regulate my period, but if I take them, will it stop the effects PCOS has on me? Like me gaining rapid weight, missed periods, and losing my hair? This is really worrying me. Can you inform me on this syndrome?


How can I have more pleasurable sex when my partner's penis is too large?

I have encountered a problem I never expected; my boyfriend is quite simply very large. I am unable to perform oral sex except for the first couple of inches due to the girth, and vaginal sex is not totally satisfying for him because he is too long and cannot fully penetrate without causing me significant pain. I've seen my doctor, and am reassured that there is physically nothing wrong with me — no infections or scarring, but am finding it difficult to come up with a solution. Any suggestions?


Can you get HIV from fingering someone?

1) While I found a lot of info on oral sex and AIDS on this blissfully honest site, there didn't seem to be any info on "fingering" (not sure of the technical term?) a woman. I'm in a high risk AIDS country and recently "used my fingers" for a couple of minutes to delight a local woman who has turned out to be having her period. After noticing a considerable amount of bloody discharge, we stopped. But do I have a considerable AIDS risk? There were no cuts on the fingers I used but a small, possibly healed, cut on the thumb of the same hand. Break it down for me. I'm a bit on edge.

2) Can you contract HIV from anal fingering your partner if you had cuts/scratches on your fingers?


Is plugging ecstasy a safer alternative to taking it orally?

On "big nights out" (about once a month) friends of mine "plug" ecstasy tablets — by which I mean they each stick one up their butt instead of swallowing.

They claim that is a "safer" way to ingest E because it bypasses the liver and goes right into the bloodstream. They also claim the effects are heightened.

I have been tempted to try this method as they swear by it, but thought I'd get your opinion first — are there any potential side effects to plugging? Is it really a "safer" way to use E?


How can we make it more equal when it comes to initiating sex?

I have been with my long term girlfriend for five years. I am seriously thinking about getting engaged.

Over the last three years she has taken control of our sex life. I have definitely become submissive in the bedroom. We don’t get into BDSM, but she always decides when, where, and how. She loves this control. While I have come to accept my submissive role, and I do certainly enjoy making love to her and pleasing her, I have asked her on many occasions for some variety. I would like to enter her sometimes and she has not performed oral sex on me for years. Granted, I am a bit under average in the endowment area and she always has a hard time reaching orgasm with straight intercourse. I have tried to talk to her, but she always shuts down the convo by making me admit that I love pleasuring her. Of course when we start fooling around I am so excited that I just follow her lead.

Honestly, I am very happy in every other aspect and I don't want to add any friction to the relationship. She is a very private person and doesn’t like to talk sex. Visiting a therapist is not an option as I have already subtly suggested it and been rebuffed. Should I be overly concerned? Should I continue to press the issue (although it doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere) or just accept my role? Again, I do enjoy pleasing her and I usually get off. I guess I could be happy continuing this way and I don't want to lose her. I would love your thoughts.


Do plant-based sunscreens work?

Recently I bought a sun protection cream from a health food store. The cream claims to provide sun protection (it's labeled SPF 15) by a plant complex made of PABA, willow bark extract, myrtle and myrtus leaf extract. It says that myrtle and myrtus leaf help protect from both UVA and UVB.

My questions are as follows:

1) Can this PABA complex provide the sun protection it claims (SPF 15 for both UVA and UVB rays)? The reason I am asking this is because until now I had only heard of sun protection by titanium dioxide or chemicals like octyl mexaoxycinnamate (did I get it right?). So I am curious to find out.

2) I notice a slight burning sensation in my eyes after I apply the product on my face. Is it true that PABA is a common irritant? (Since I notice many products proudly claiming PABA-free I wonder if it's really not good for you.)

Please help. I hope this question falls within your realm of expertise. After all, you are the 'know it all' around here, aren't you?