What is the criteria for determining if a relationship is abusive? My husband has never struck me in anger or injured me, but he is constantly poking, tickling, flicking me, etc. When I tell him to stop, he usually says, "Why should I?" and continues a little bit more. It's like a kid tormenting a little sister. He gets right in my face and sometimes pokes me in the chest while he's telling me something. There's never any anger until I get mad at him for doing it, and then he tells me he's just playing. The other night when I told him to stop poking me, he said, "I'll do whatever I want." That really bothered me. When he does get angry, he usually just ignores me, but occasionally he'll throw something (but not at me). What do you think? How can I make him understand that his "playing" is upsetting? Is this type of behavior a precursor of actual violence?