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How can I stop seeking sexual attention?

I am afraid my need for sexual attention is getting out of hand. The past several weekends I have wound up kissing guys in bars, and I find myself less interested in flirting or having interesting conversations with them than I am in getting that rush of meeting someone new. This weekend I had sex with a guy I had just met in a bar and I have no idea why. Making matters worse is that he was much younger than I am and I don't think we had anything in common whatsoever. I feel like I am devaluing myself and I don't want to lose my self-respect. How can I find the cause of my behavior and how can I stop?


What's normal when it comes to wet dreams?

1) Are wet dreams in a sexually active 23-year-old male unusual?

2) I only had about three to four "wet dreams" in my entire life and now I'm 20 years old. I wonder if it is normal, or it's because I masturbate often that I don't have these kinds of dreams. Is there a way of having one like that again?

3) I have a normal sex life with my wife (once or twice a week), but I have been having a problem lately. I have had about four wet dreams last year. I don't know why but I feel really bad about this. Is there something wrong with me? How can I stop this???


Is there any way to make pap smears less painful?

I am a lesbian who does not enjoy penetration and does not include this in my sexual repertoire. I am concerned, however, about Pap smears. I find the speculum very uncomfortable, even painful — my last Pap was agonizing and embarrassing. If I didn't know how important this annual exam was, I would just stop going.

I am seeking ways to make this experience less traumatic, so my question to you is, is there a way I can obtain a speculum of my own so I can practice at home? Any other advice on the subject of less painful Paps would be appreciated!

Thanks!