How can I feel more comfortable with gynecological exams as a virgin?

1) I am 24 years old and still a virgin. I have health issues such as uterine fibroids. Therefore, I have to undergo certain tests like transvaginal ultra sounds and Pap smears. This bothers me as I feel very violated and feel like something has been taken from me that I can never get back. Doctors and medical technicians seem to lack concern during these situations. Mentally, I know these exams do not have an effect on my virginity, but how can I get over this feeling of being violated?

2) How soon after losing my virginity should I see a gynecologist for the first time?


Should I start a relationship with someone who has a terminal illness?

I recently met this guy who is amazing. We get along very well. I really like him, and I would love to have a relationship with him, but I found out that he has pancreatic cancer and only has three to five years to live. I just really don't know what to do. I think it would be considered screwing myself over by getting emotionally involved with someone who is going to die soon. But, I also feel for him, and I think everyone should have a chance at love. What should I do?


Is there a connection between cortisol, depression, and weight loss?

I recently went to my doctor because I've been unable to lose weight. I've been on a successful diet, accompanied with a reasonable exercise plan, but I've seen no real results. A series of tests were run — I've got optimum blood pressure, low cholesterol, and I am not diabetic. But, when my cortisol levels were checked — they were very high. The doctor suspected there was a possibility that I might have Cushings' Syndrome — but another test was run and that came up negative.

I was doing research on the internet, and I found that there was a link between excessive cortisol and depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 12 (I am now 21). And I am currently untreated. What is the link between cortisol levels and depression? Are excessive cortisol levels a physical manifestation of depression? Or does an excess of cortisol for some other reason cause depression? Does an excessive amount of cortisol cause weight gain, or in my case prohibit weight loss? And if there is a connection — will treatment for my clinical depression (in the form of prescription pills) help me?

I've been unable to find answers anywhere, or at least a good source to tell me to stop worrying — any help would be appreciated.


Why am I depressed as I navigate my sexuality?

Thank you for everything, and it is being appreciated by thousands. I have read all your advice to others and have learned a lot. However, I have a problem that I do not know how to handle. It started when I decided to turn myself around from being bisexual to straight (nobody knew what I was, except my best friend, who is also bisexual). I now have a big hole inside me that is being filled by the dark things of life (such as hatred). I had good qualities, such as a great personality, being open-minded, and I would rather go through life without it than turn back to the "bad" habits (please do not get me wrong, I will never judge gays for I have been close to being one). Please help me to fill the hole with life, to get back or improve on my qualities, and to gain the knowledge to approach and attract someone of the opposite sex. And one last thing, do you think it is wise to let my future girlfriend know what I used to be?


Was I molested?

I really don't know what to call my situation. Some people say I was molested, others say I was sexually assaulted in the third degree, and others call it sexual misconduct. But when I was thirteen years old, I was touched by a fifteen-year-old boy on the bus for six months. I didn't want this or invite it. I would often fight and say no. He used to fondle my thighs and go into my pants. What is this called? Please e-mail me back.


Should I come out to my girlfriend about my boy-crush?

I am a bisexual guy, and I have a problem. I have a girlfriend and a major crush on my best male friend, each of them are straight. I have already told my friend about my sexuality and my crush on him, but I am afraid to tell my girlfriend. She is an understanding person, but I think she might think I went bi because of her. How should I tell her? I am pretty paranoid about this, and I haven't even told my parents about my sexuality. Please help me.


How can I find support as a gay student in New York?

I'm an undergraduate student from China. And I'm going to the mathematics department with fellowship. I'm really very happy and eager for my future life in Columbia.

I'm now twenty years, but still have no girlfriends. Why? Because I'm a gay student. Sometimes I really feel very sad about that. You see, I'm also an emotional person and I'm eager for love, but I can't. I'd not prefer to make gay friends on Web sites since many of them are lying and I'm afraid to get AIDS. Since I'm very pure, good looking, and excellent in study, some classmates and schoolmates (male) show great affection to me. But I dare not accept it because I'm AFRAID.

Both my parents are professors, but they are very traditional and could not accept that. At the same time, I do not want to hurt them, so I really don't know what to do. I know New York City have a lot of gay students, and it's also such a "free" metropolitan city, so I'm really very glad, but still mixed feeling.

Here I wanna ask you:

(1) Are there a lot of gay students in Columbia University?

(2) Is there any gay club or activity in CU?

(3) What should I do now?

Thanks so much! I've seen your answer to a lot of questions and feel very excellent. Best wishes!


How can I prevent athletic performance anxiety?

I compete in an individual sport. The problem is that on the day of a major competition, I have really bad indigestion. Sometimes, I have to run to the bathroom every half hour for a bowel movement! Besides being annoying, disgusting, and a little embarrassing, this interrupts my competition and adds unneeded stress. Why is this happening and what can I do to prevent it?