Is it possible to penetrate the cervix?

Dear Reader,  

You’re not causing any unwanted intrusions! The cervical opening is around the size of a pencil eraser or smaller, so it’s way too small to be penetrated by a penis or sex toy. What your girlfriend might be experiencing is “deep dyspareunia,” which is genital pain during deep penetration. While she may have been feeling this pain because you’re hitting her cervix, it can also be linked to arousal, relaxation, and pelvic floor muscle tightness. While you note she’s past the pain, you both can work together to ensure that sex remains pain-free and pleasurable for the both of you.  

What is the cervix?  

The cervix is a bodily structure that sits at the top of the vaginal canal and acts like a tollbooth allowing liquids like menstrual fluid and sperm to pass through. Unless someone’s actively in labor—a time when the cervix expands to allow a baby to pass through the vaginal canal and exit the body—the cervix stays firmly shut to any physical intrusion.  

Why might the cervix hurt during sex?  

It’s possible that the cervix can become irritated or feel “hit” during sex, especially if someone isn’t fully aroused. During arousal, the cervix rises, making more room for penetration. If it doesn’t fully rise, there might not be enough room in the vaginal canal for the penis to be inserted fully. However, it isn’t always necessarily a problem of arousal. Tightness in the pelvic floor muscles that surround the reproductive system can also keep the cervix from rising even if someone has become fully aroused.  

What are some other causes of pain during penetrative sex?  

Although the cervix could be causing the pain that your girlfriend has experienced, it might not actually be the culprit. Because the cervix is a well-known bodily landmark, it often gets blamed for pain that it might be completely unrelated to.  

Instead, the pain that your girlfriend has felt could be from you hitting her vaginal wall, uterus, or other organs during sex. You mention that your girlfriend primarily experiences pain during deep penetration. This could be a clue that what’s she’s experiencing could be deep dyspareunia. With deep dyspareunia comes a whole host of physical and psychological factors including:  

• Pelvic floor muscle dysfunction: Tightness in the muscles supporting the reproductive system could prevent the vaginal canal from extending and the cervix from rising.
• Uterine retroversion: When the uterus sits in a slightly tilted position, it strains the muscles and increases the likelihood it’ll be hit during sex.
• Lack of lubrication: This could be hormonal, stress-related, or linked to low arousal.
• Endometriosis: This is the growth of uterine tissue outside of the uterus, which could lead to scarring throughout the pelvic region.
• Vaginismus: This is the involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles during penetration. 

List adapted from National Institutes of Health  

How can you help your partner address pain during sex?  

Continuing to communicate with your girlfriend about how she’s feeling can help you better understand what you can do to support her. You might consider asking whether she would prefer slower or more shallow penetration. You can also suggest spending a longer time easing into sex before trying deeper penetration, which can include adding or increasing the amount of time you spend on foreplay. Also, remember to use plenty of lube to make things more comfortable and keep the friction down. 

You might also discuss trying out different sex positions to see if there’s an angle that’s more comfortable for your girlfriend. Some people who experience deep dyspareunia find that it’s less painful to be on top during sex, since it allows them to control the depth of penetration.  

If penetrative sex continues to be painful for your girlfriend, there’s many non-penetrative sexual options that you might consider trying out, including mutual masturbation, oral sex, sensual massage, and even kissing. Taking the time to enjoy these acts for what they are—rather than just as foreplay leading to penetrative sex—may open new erotic experiences and sources of pleasure for you both.  

However, if the pain your girlfriend experiences is impacting her quality of life, mental health, or sexual desire and arousal, she might consider visiting with a health care professional that specializes in pelvic floor disorders or sexual pain. They can better identify the causes of her pain and develop a treatment plan that might combine physical therapy, mental health and relaxation practices, and medication. 

Cheers to taking a deeper dive into an important topic!