Dear Alice,

I see that in several messages and answers, that reference is made it oral sex accompanied by the use of ice cubes. I'm pretty ignorant about this and would be very grateful to you if you would tell me more about this. My boyfriend and I have a very good sex life and we enjoy making love, but we're also on the look-out for new things to try. I've asked my friends about this and some of them thought it was a joke! Thanks for the help.

A curious Irishwoman.

Dear A curious Irishwoman,

Looking for new things to try is always a fun adventure! It’s important to remember that we are all different so what may feel good for one person may not feel good to another.  The most important part about experimenting with new sex tactics is to communicate with your partner to see what makes them feel good, what they would like to try, and what they do not want to try.

For your question about ice cubes, here is a way that you can incorporate it into your sex life. Place an ice cube in your mouth and hold it there without swallowing or chewing it. As you give someone oral sex, the ice cube will slowly melt in your mouth. Some folks find the cold temperature of the ice cube, combined with the cool/warm/soft lips and gentle mouths of their partners, pleasurable on their genitals. Again, some people do not like this feeling so it is important to keep communicating, especially when trying something new in your sex life.

There are many things you can try to explore the sensory experience of sex which can include playing with different temperatures, textures and flavors. For example, you can try the ice cubes or warming lubricant to see if you and your partner enjoy the varying temperatures. To experiment with different textures, you and your partner can play with ribbed, studded or other textured condoms. There are also flavored condoms that include mint, banana, cola, strawberry and grape flavors. You can play with food items in your sex play, but be careful because any oil-based product will break down latex in latex condoms. 


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