Am I bi, gay, pansexual, or something else?

I don't like to be considered gay nor bisexual, and I identified as pansexual for a bit, until I found out that pansexuality is sexual expression of all kinds. I want to know what I am. I don't like labels and I think that everyone and anyone can fall in love with anyone else of any gender; therefore I believe that there is no such thing as sexual orientations. What is a word for that?


How can I deal with disapproval of my interracial relationship?

My question is about interracial relationships. I came here from a really small town, very conservative — well, you get the idea. Now, my second week in, I met the most wonderful man. Only he is black. We have been dating now for over a year. He treats me wonderfully but I still get odd looks from people and my parents really don't approve.

I told them it shouldn't matter what color his skin is if I love him, but their small town values seem to say otherwise. How can I cope with the odd looks and my parents without losing my man?


Why am I itchy after the condom broke?

I've just had my first condom break ever. I'm on the pill, so I'm not worried about pregnancy, but a couple of days afterwards I had yeast infection-like symptoms — no unusual discharge, just itching. If I pick up some over-the-counter yeast infection medication and the symptoms go away, would I be safe to assume that was the problem? Or should I definitely go in for an STI check?


Is weightlifting for 5 hours per day too much?

I am a wrestler and have very great ambitions within the sport. I lift weights for five to six hours a day, making sure I perform every set to failure often including negatives as well. In addition to working each muscle group two times a week, I make sure to give each muscle group 48 to 72 hours of rest. Recently though, I have learned that training longer than an hour a day can have a catabolic (muscle breakdown) effect on your body. This was very concerning to me because muscle-wasting during my training seems truly counter-productive, but I am also aware that a decrease in training may lead to muscle atrophy and that also poses a deep concern. I have also learned that cardio and even sleep can have a catabolic effect. I will have to cut my training time eventually due to time restrictions during the season because of school day and team practices, including traveling time and homework. I am posing a couple of questions within this letter: 1) Can I reduce the volume of my routine to about an hour and still make gains that are comparable or better to those I experience with my five to six hour workouts and if so, how? 2) Is catabolism truly a legitimate matter to be concerned with?


How can I keep dating my boyfriend when he's a different person on his medication?

I am a 32-year-old woman dating a very nice man my age. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just about a year and we are serious about each other. He has severe asthma and has to be on high doses of steroids during and for a long time after a flare-up. The problem is these steroids have a terrible effect on him: he breaks out in acne; he is irritable and loses control of his temper; his appetite is voracious; he puffs out in his stomach and face.

The problem with his temper and irritability is what most bothers me, it is as if he has a completely different personality and sometimes it is frightening. We have talked to his doctor who says that these steroids are the drug of choice and if he does not take them as an outpatient, he would have to be hospitalized and put on the same medications.

As I said, his personality can be frightening on the steroids, but I have seen my boyfriend in an asthma attack which is even more frightening. I once talked to a therapist about this problem. Maybe I should have been more careful in choosing a therapist, but this woman came from a feminist perspective and in a sense told me that I should break up with this man. I don't think that this is the solution since I love him very much and I know that off steroids he is the man I love.


What should I do if we became intimate before I told him I have herpes?

I recently started dating a man. On the first date, we became intimate (which I did not plan on happening). The day after, I told him that things moved too fast and that maybe we should get to know each other before becoming intimate again. My big concern is that I have genital herpes, and have been faced with the problem of becoming intimate before sharing that I have herpes. I came up with a plan on how to share this info, but it didn't happen in this particular relationship. Now, I don't know what to do because I am worried that I have shattered the trust in this relationship. Should I just walk away from it and use it as a lesson on how to approach a relationship next time or tell him?