What to do when my boyfriend cares more if I cum than I do?

It's very hard for me to orgasm during sex, even if I help myself. I can do it all by my lonesome very quickly, but as soon as I'm with a guy, I just can't cum. However, I'm not worried by this whatsoever. I love sex, and I love everything about it. I love the act of sex, I love pleasuring my partner, I love the sights, smells, and sounds of sex. If I don't cum, meh, I'm still very happy. I'm no happier if I do orgasm during sex.

My problem seems to be keeping my partners happy with my contentment with not orgasming. They seem to think it's their life mission to make me orgasm. I had one boyfriend with whom I actually faked orgasming for a good two years because he was so upset that he couldn't make me cum. Every other partner I've had since then has taken it personally that I can't orgasm with them. It seems to put a bit of strain on my relationships.

I am with a new guy that I care for very deeply. He has been very understanding of my not orgasming, but he seems to try that much harder, and I think he is getting frustrated. I have orgasmed once since we've been together (a mere month and a bit), so it can be done, but I really don't want him to take it personally. I've told him already about this, and he said he was surprised that I'm cool with it. I REALLY don't want him to be disappointed and have this strain our relationship (like every other relationship I've had). I really do like him that much.

What can I do or say to ease his mind?


What can I do to prevent vaginal dryness during sex?

My problem is about vaginal dryness. I am an otherwise healthy twenty-one-year-old female, but cannot seem to get wet enough for pleasurable sex with my husband. We both get sore afterwards and I feel like I am not "performing" much like I would imagine a man would feel if he couldn't get an erection. Here's the thing, my husband doesn't want me to use artificial lubricants. Honestly I don't either. Are there any alternatives to K-Y? Is dehydration or draining enough fluids a factor? Any info would be of much help. Thanks so much.


How can I safely use male sex toys?

First let me just say how much I love your website and your terrific advice — it has saved me from a lot of embarrassing questions. LOL.

You see I am interested in buying a sex toy, preferably a penis sleeve or masturbator (for me to masturbate with). I have recently asked my mom about this and she does seem like it is open for discussion. The only thing is, she wants to know if the use of sex toys such as these (that vibrate or not) are safe and if I can damage my penis somehow or if there are any risks using these kinds of devices. I don't think there are any risks except for allergic reactions or not enough use of lubrication. But I am not sure. So please, please Alice, answer my question.


Does altitude have any impact on sex?

I'm sending you this message from the top of the Sierra Nevada mountains of California. My wife just experienced her best orgasm ever. We live by the beach, a very low altitude... so that made me wonder, although crazy, "Does altitude have any impact on sex?"

If it doesn't impact sex, it definately impacts the lube bottle as it came squirting out on it's own...