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How can I tell my nosy roommate to step off?

I'm a junior in college and I live in a suite with five other girls. We are all best friends, except for one girl. None of us like her because she says anything that pops into her head (she told one of my suitemates, who is battling an eating disorder, that she looked pregnant), and she is constantly trying to find out gossip about us. After a night of fun, she will come into all of our rooms, and pump us for info (she hasn't gone out with us yet this year). She thrives on knowing gossip about anyone and everyone. My question is: how can we tell her to mind her own business and shut her mouth? Also: how can we tell her that we don't want her to live with us next year? Thanks for your help!


What’s the deal with my bad breath?

1) I often have a bad taste in my mouth, and bad breath as well, I assume. This doesn't stem from poor hygiene: I brush my teeth at least three times a day, and usually more. I'm wondering if there is anything I can do about this. Could this be a symptom of some sort of nutritional deficiency? I think my diet is pretty bad, although I'm working pretty hard on getting more protein and eating less fat. I've also been nauseous a lot lately, and vomiting some. Could that be related?

2) Like many people, I often have an embarrassing bad breath. Listerine and other mouthwashes won't be of any help for this chronic problem. There are lots of products available to get rid of "volatile sulfur compounds (VSC)" - that supposedly cause this — and I just don't know which one I should try. Also, what's your opinion on tongue-brushing?


How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


Why can’t I control my bladder?

1) When I was a child, I used to wet the bed. This finally cleared up when I was about twelve. In the last month or so, it has come back — except it's even more embarrassing now because I'm twenty-eight and share my bed with my husband! It started when I had a bad cold, so I thought perhaps it was just stress incontinence caused by coughing while asleep. I do suffer somewhat from stress incontinence, but I learned to deal with it when awake by clamping my legs together whenever I cough or sneeze. I talked to my doctor about this, and he also thought it was due to coughing while asleep. He treated my cough and assured me that once the cough was gone, the bedwetting would be, too. Well, my cough has cleared up, but I am still wetting the bed almost every night! It's mortifying, and I feel like my husband finds me disgusting (not that I really blame him). He says it doesn't matter to him, but I feel like I ought to be put in a nursing home. Is there anything I can do to stop this?

2) I have an embarrassing problem that has always held me from going to a doctor. I do not know if it's called incontinence. When I'm out of the rest room, I always find a few drops of urine being discharged later in my dress. This usually occurs when I bend down, or when I sneeze, or sometimes even due to a jerk. I have tried to prevent this many a time by remaining in the comfort room for invariably a long time trying to make sure that I'm done fully, but in vain.

Being a Muslim, I always find it very difficult to offer my prayers due to this. I'm suffering from this problem for a long time. Would you please advise if there is any cure for this? Can some pills treat this or an operation is a must?


Does wearing ear plugs disrupt the natural ear cleaning process?

I am a very light sleeper so I began wearing ear plugs to be able to sleep uninterruptedly. I moved into a quieter neighborhood now and thought that I would be able to sleep without them but it turns out that my boyfriend is a snorer and so I have to keep wearing them. I know that ears clean themselves out at night but because I'm wearing the ear plugs I have a lot of wax build-up. How can I clean my ears? And also, do you think that prolonged use of ear plugs can cause some kind of damage?


How do I manage feelings of embarrassment over having to visit a gynecologist?

I'm a 21 year old woman with white lumpy vaginal discharge (odorless)...I thought it was thrush but after two courses of yeast infection cream it has not resolved...I have never had sex, so can't have an STD...I get bad pain in my lower back and sacro-iliac region with my period and with ovulation though I don't know if this is relevant...I'm embarrassed to see a health care professional about this and don't know if I'm just concerned over nothing...


What is proper gym etiquette?

1) When you are at the gym exercising do you need to wipe down each machine that you use even if you are not sweating?

2) I'm looking for some helpful pointers you might have on the subject of health club etiquette (i.e., don't wear perfume because others will leave workout equipment wearing your perfume). I would appreciate anything you have to offer on the subject.


How to navigate relationship with gay roommate?

When I came to Columbia, my roommate and I got along really well. We still do. However, three weeks into the year, I learned that he is gay. I have no problems with this, I'd like to think that I'm open-minded — but can you give me some advice on how to handle this relationship?


Can I still sleep over now that my girlfriend has a roommate?

I have a problem. The problem is my new roommate. We didn't know that he was gay when we asked him to be our roommate because he went out with girls before he moved in. After a month of living with us he started going to gay night at the local clubs and then found this guy. It is a week later and when my other roommate came home from seeing his girlfriend he found condoms all over the place. He didn't even clean up his mess! What should we do? We still have to live with him for another year.


What can I do if I have no privacy to masturbate?

I used to always masturbate at least once a day before I came here to college. However, now that I have a roommate, I can never find time alone to masturbate. I feel a need to masturbate at least once a day, but now I can't go through with my urge every day. Thus I start thinking about masturbation during class, and it's really affecting my mind. I need to masturbate or else I can't function correctly. Please help me out. Maybe there is another means to get out my sexual urges.


How can I navigate conversations with my partner about his living situation?

At my school, there are three kinds of rooms: singles (one person in one room), doubles (two people in one room), and walk-throughs (two people in two rooms with a door separating them). My partner is living in a walk-through double with a friend of his. He lives on the inside room, which means I have to walk through his roommate’s room to get to his room. I hate it! I feel so guilty leaving my partner's room late at night and if my partner's roommate isn't home, I feel like I'm somehow invading his privacy by walking through his room. When we hang out, I get uncomfortable being intimate (or even just hanging out pantsless!) with my partner knowing that his roommate is on the other side of the door. There's supposed to be more privacy, but in some ways, it feels like we have less! My partner and his roommate haven't had any trouble with the walk-through arrangement... but I do. I feel weird talking to his roommate about guidelines and solutions because it isn't my room. How can I find ways to set guidelines and boundaries for this peculiar situation without making myself a huge nuisance?


What can I do about salty sweat stains?

I've been a good kid working out and being healthy, but the gym I go to has uniforms and I always wear a black t-shirt. That's great, until I sweat and it leaves salt rings where the sweat reached out to. Ewwww. This is embarrassing, and I have to wash the shirt before I can wear it again, which is annoying since I go almost every day and need to re-wear shirts once or twice. ANYWAYS, how can I reduce the amount of salt in my sweat, and prevent these embarrassing white rings from forming on my clothes? Eating differently, drinking more water, help!


How can I help a roommate with an eating disorder?

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?


How can I move forward with a homophobic roommate?

I'm a lesbian and I think that my roommate could be slightly homophobic. We have never really had a great relationship but now that I've come out to her, we don't talk much at all. How do I talk with her about this issue so that we can put it behind is without making it so awkward?


How can I live with fishy body odor (trimethylaminuria)?

After many years of confusion, I have been diagnosed with trimethylaminuria. It is an awful disease that has caused much emotional pain in my life. I was hoping that if the disease was discussed on your site that people's awareness may increase and perhaps people would not be quite so quick to judge others. I would appreciate it if you could post my message for this reason. Also, if the disease is caused by the lack of a certain hormone in my body, then would an injection of this hormone be a possible solution? In all of my research, I have not seen this discussed.


How can I sleep with my girlfriend without making my roommate uncomfortable?

My girlfriend and I both go to the same college and have been sleeping together for a while now, which has been easy because she has a room of her own. However, because of the way university housing worked out for next year, both of us are going to be living in doubles with roommates. We would like to continue sleeping together, but I realize that having a roommate could make this difficult. Should I approach my future roommate about the situation, and if so how should I go about doing so?


Is it normal if my boyfriend's semen is chunky?

1) I tried looking for an answer to my question in the archives, but didn't find one. What I want to know is if it is normal that my boyfriend's semen has clumps (I don't know how else to describe it) in it? The semen has never been clumpy before, but the last time I gave him a blowjob, the semen had a chunky consistency to it. Should I be worried that this may be an STD, or is this kind of thing related to other things, and if so, what are they? Thanks.

2) I just realized a few days ago that my sperm comes out in pieces. For example, they are as thick as small boiled rice pieces... is there a concern to worry?


Does ingesting semen have a laxative effect?

1) I have asked this question to many sites with no response, but came (sorry:) ) upon your site which seems to be willing to post just about any question and answer them too, so here goes:

Is there a laxative effect of ingested ejaculate, or is it ALL in my head (oh gosh, another one :) )? I have found that when I ingest my own ejaculate, almost invariably within a matter of a few minutes, I have loose bowels.

2) My boyfriend and I have been exploring oral sex for a couple months — but I've only just noticed that when I swallow I seem to experience a bout of diarrhea within a couple hours of doing so. Is it normal to have diarrhea from swallowing ejaculate?


Why do my bowel movements stink so much?

I am living in a residence hall, and I never realized this until now, but my bowel movements are really smelly. It has gotten to a point where if I don't find a place to do it secretly, it becomes a great source of embarrassment. Could I be eating something that causes my bowel movements to be really smelly?