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How can boyfriend with cerebral palsy get in touch with his body?

I am dating a wonderful, intelligent, and caring man who happens to have cerebral palsy. We are both 20 years old, and this is the first romantic relationship he's been involved in. I am the kind of person who expresses things physically; through hugs, caresses, kisses, etc. Unfortunately, those sort of things make him terribly uncomfortable (psychologically, not physically). He's not used to physical affection and he just doesn't know how to interpret it.

He doesn't see himself as attractive, and it scares him to think that he can be so to anyone, let alone me. Having lived with a disability his entire life, he has pretty much dissociated himself from his body, it having been mainly a source of frustration to him. Is there anything I/he/we can do to help him feel comfortable in and get connected with his body?


How can I approach my friend about her constant competitiveness?

My "best friend" of almost 4 years now has always been competitive, but it's never been something we've discussed. Every time I'm wearing something trendy or saying something new, she will do the same thing. When we used to run in aerobics class, she would constantly try to beat my scores. I confronted her about that, but she never seems to learn — she still copies me and competes with everything from grades to guys. If I address the problems I've had in the past, I will look stupid because usually I would be the type to bring it up, but my life was too hectic at the time. Should I really "waste" time talking to her about her competitiveness? Or, is there a way to hint at it or persuade her to do something original?


Does fear of another sex impact my sexuality?

I am a woman who has always been attracted to other women. Until recently, I was attracted to men as well. Now I am almost exclusively attracted to women... which would be fine, except that I think this attraction has a lot to do with painful experiences I’ve had with men. When I was younger, my father was dominant and somewhat abusive, and my first boyfriend was emotionally manipulative and pressured me to have sex with him. After breaking things off with him, I had a very positive sexual relationship with a woman. Am I a lesbian, or am I a bisexual who is just afraid of men? If the latter is true, is there any way to get over this fear?


Is it possible to be afraid of being raped if I’ve never had sex?

Sometimes I think what it would be like to be with a man, romantically. I am a single woman, and have never had any relationships. Sometimes, though, when I am imagining what it could be like, it turns violent on me, in my mind, and I always end up being raped. This makes me apprehensive and scared of ever becoming involved with anyone. I am scared that everyone I meet will do this to me. I think that it wouldn't be too bad to be single for the rest of my life, but I want to be loved, to be held. What do you think?


Is it wrong to marry someone you don't get physically turned on by?

I have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly four years and we are both approaching the engagement decision. We get along great and never lose the ability to have fun and laugh together. The only problem is that while he wants to engage in intimate activities often (we are still both virgins), I am not that interested. I love him, but I still don't get physically turned on with him as I do while fantasizing about other guys. Is it wrong to marry someone whom you don't feel a total "romance novel" passion for?


How do I navigate a friends with benefits relationship?

1) You have so much information and advice for those who want to start, maintain, or end a relationship; but then there are people like me. I have no desire to be in a relationship with anyone. I'm a full time student, I work two jobs, and I like hanging out with my friends and family when I do have spare time. I'm not interested in the feelings, emotions, and time it takes to be in a relationship. Basically, I'll have sex with anyone before I even think about holding their hand. Then afterwards, the guy will usually end up getting his feelings hurt because I don't want to date him. Is there anything strange or unhealthy about this??

2) I have a good guy friend, and we were talking about friends with benefits. We said how sometimes you want the relationship, but then sometimes not. Then we were talking about how if you want just the perks without the ties, then why not with someone you know and trust. I asked him if he was looking at someone in particular, and he said no, and he asked me and I said not really. The dilemma is that I want to go that step with him. I want to become friends with benefits. But I'm afraid that if I talk to him about it, he'll freak out and reject the idea and I'll lose a friend. I don't know if he would really react that way, but I'm just afraid. We both seem to be looking for the same things and I've been feeling like this for a while now... Should I talk to him about it or just forget about it?


How can I help a friend who thinks they have cancer get help?

I have a friend who thinks he may have testicular cancer. I am the only person who knows. He is really embarrassed about it and refuses to tell anyone else. But I think his main problem is that he's afraid of what would happen next if it turns out that he did. I'll often tell him that it's not that embarrassing and he can tell his parents, but since I'm a girl, I just don't understand.

I have tried absolutely everything to make him tell someone, anyone really. But he won't. I am truly scared for him and have no idea what I would do without him. What should I do? Thanks for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it and could really use the help.