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How can I tell my nosy roommate to step off?

I'm a junior in college and I live in a suite with five other girls. We are all best friends, except for one girl. None of us like her because she says anything that pops into her head (she told one of my suitemates, who is battling an eating disorder, that she looked pregnant), and she is constantly trying to find out gossip about us. After a night of fun, she will come into all of our rooms, and pump us for info (she hasn't gone out with us yet this year). She thrives on knowing gossip about anyone and everyone. My question is: how can we tell her to mind her own business and shut her mouth? Also: how can we tell her that we don't want her to live with us next year? Thanks for your help!


Is neck and back cracking all it's cracked up to be?

1) I read the information on your website about knuckle cracking, and I was wondering if it applies to cracking backs and necks. I know that people often have their backs cracked by friends, etc. because it feels good and seems to relieve tension. Also, when my neck feels tight, I often turn it from side to side until it cracks and feels better. I've heard that chiropractors do some version of this, and call it "realignment." Is this safe? Is there a right or a wrong way to crack a back or neck? Is cracking your back/neck actually therapeutic in some way?

2) As a college student, I sometimes spend long hours reading books or looking at computer screens, and often my neck gets stiff. Like many of my joints that get stiff, sometimes I crack my neck, like I would crack my knees or fingers when they feel stiff. I often wind up doing this several times a day.

My question is, could I do irreparable damage to my spinal system if I continue using this method to soothe a stiff neck? Could I wind up a paraplegic if I continue to crack my neck? Leak spinal fluid, etc.?


Can I get lead poisoning from crystal glass?

1) Many people are buying Swarovski crystal beads to make crafts. I understand that they have 32 percent lead. People are making jewelry and figurines with the crystal beads. Is this a danger to our health?

2) We received a 24 percent leaded crystal decanter from Poland as a gift. We would like to use it for a liquor decanter. Is it safe? Are we in danger of lead poisoning?


Why do I have allergies after moving to a new place?

I relocated to a new area within the past six months. Since then, I have been experiencing congestion in the morning and pressure in my sinus area, such as stuffed nose and difficulty breathing, at night when I lay on my back and in the morning. Although I do not have a cold, I seem to always have a small amount of drainage on a daily basis. Within the past week, I am sneezing quite a bit in the mornings and at night, my eyes are so itchy I can't help but rub them to a nice shade of red. I have never had allergies before, just for your info. Thanks for any tips.


Do birth control pills cause brain aneurysms?

Sadly, today I found out that a friend of my family has just passed away. The cause of her sudden death was a brain aneurysm. I have been researching brain aneurysms and have found out that oral contraceptives are thought to sometimes cause them. I am 19 and I am taking birth control, and now I am very worried. Can you give me some statistics about brain aneurysms linked to oral contraceptives? Thank you.


What's up with FluMist?

I have heard numerous reports in the media where they make mention of the "live flu virus" in the flu vaccine, specifically "flu-mist." This is mentioned in conjunction with a warning to avoid contact with this and that (yadda, yadda) for a certain time period. This confuses me. I was under the impression that the flu vaccines contain dead viruses and that it was not possible to catch the flu from the vaccine. Which is it?


How can I support a friend with mental health concerns when I’m struggling myself?

1) This is more of a coping question. I am a first-year who applied for a single room over the summer and was denied. I figured that everything would be okay nevertheless. I tried to look at the situation as a character-builder. Well, that is not the case. My roommate is very depressed. I talked to the RA on my floor, but she didn't take any action, except to talk with her. Unfortunately, my roommate is so ashamed of what's happening that she denied the facts, and the RA believed her. No one except me has realized yet that she is sleeping most of the day and all of the night, and that it is indeed a real problem. I have expressed my concern to her and encouraged her to go to counseling services. She went a couple of times and then started canceling appointments left and right. I have worried about her, but I have no backup whatsoever, so there is really nothing I can do to help at this point. We get along relatively well otherwise.

Right now, the concern I have is that her depression is pulling me down, too. I literally have not been alone anywhere for more than two to three minutes in weeks. I wanted a single because it's a requirement that I spend some time by myself, and I'm going crazy these days. The lights are always out in the room, and I've noticed that I'm sleeping more than usual myself as the situation has progressed. Also, I am having to deal with some personal issues of my own this semester, and I simply don't have the energy to take care of someone else who desperately wishes that I would do so. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

2) I know that when a friend is depressed, it's important to reach out, discuss the issue, and be there for the person as much as possible. But that's quite hard to do when I myself have a history with depression — I feel as if her emotions are taking me back to a place that I don't want to go. I really empathize with my friend and feel her pain, but at the same time know that I'd be useless to both of us if I'm in the troughs too. How can I help without sacrificing my always precarious emotional equilibrium?


Should I be concerned about BPA from hard plastic water bottles?

I use Nalgene bottles for about 75 percent of the water I drink each day. Therefore, I was startled to find out that there is some possibility that these bottles leach chemicals into the water. I've found conflicting opinions about the veracity of these claims on the Internet. What's the truth? Should I dump my Nalgene for glass? You have an earlier post about bottled water, but it doesn't seem to address this issue specifically, and you recommend purchasing reusable bottles like the ones that might be poisoning me. The bottles I use have #7 on the bottom in the recycle symbol.


What should I do if I inhaled bleach fumes?

After a night out with friends, I stopped in a nearby cafe before heading home to use the restroom. Unbeknownst to me, the staff had just mopped the restroom with bleach. Usually, a clean bathroom is a welcome amenity, but this one in particular is very small (barely a water closet) with zero ventilation. Though I was in there a brief time, my eyes and nose began to burn and water, and I could not very well open the door until it was time to wash my hands. It's been well over an hour since I inhaled all that bleach, and my eyes, nose, throat, and lungs all burn. I can't taste anything, and all I can smell is bleach. My head also hurts. I've gotten a lot of fresh air and plan to go back outside shortly, but these side effects have yet to abate. Am I in danger of respiratory damage? Is there anything specific to this situation I can do to alleviate the pain and discomfort?

Thanks for your help.


Is head banging hazardous to my health?

I am the front man for a heavy metal band that is steadily growing in popularity. During shows, the whole band head bangs, but I seem to go a little bit harder than everyone else. Every morning after a show, I wake up with stiffness, soreness, and slight swelling of my neck and upper shoulders. Lately, I have been thinking that maybe thrashing my head around as if it isn't connected to my body is a bad idea.

My question is this: Does head banging cause any permanent injury that I should be concerned with? If so, how could I head bang differently to lessen the injury?


Is it possible to reopen a closed piercing?

I have two piercings in each earlobe; however I have not worn earrings in the second set of holes for several years. Recently I tried to insert earrings into the seldom-used pierce holes. One earring went in with no problem, but the second did not go through after several attempts (I actually gave up because my last attempt bent the earring post). I have tried inserting other earrings but they also will not go all the way through. Is this something I can fix myself? Do I have to get the same hole professionally re-pierced? Will there be problems with scar tissue at the site?


Why are my wounds healing more slowly?

I have noticed lately that wounds such as cuts are healing much more slowly than before. I have also noticed that I am scarring more. For example, a tiny hole in my hand has developed a scar that is four times the size of the actual injury, and it is slightly raised. Am I missing something in my diet that is causing this? Or could it be an effect from on-going stress and anxiety? I am a vegetarian with some vegan tendencies, and I take a multi-vitamin every day or so.


Is the bump on the side of my anus hemorrhoids or something else?

1) This is sort of an embarrassing question...Recently I found out that there is something unusual just outside of my anus. It has grown like a pea. When I touch it, it is sort of hard but smooth, and it hurts a bit. What should I do? Is this like some kind of cancer?

2) I have this problem and I am too embarrassed to ask a doctor about it. I am a nineteen-year-old male and have this growth in my anus. It popped up about one week ago. It is about the size of a pea. Could it be hemorrhoids? If not, what can it be? Should I be worried, and what should I do about it?


Why do I faint and have a low pain tolerance?

If I get hurt really sharply or suddenly, I end up passing out. This has happened once when I slammed my finger in a doorway, once when I bashed my elbow on the shower wall, once when my finger was held in an awkward, painful position, and once when I got a flu shot. Why do I pass out like this, and why do I have such low pain tolerance?


How to navigate relationship with gay roommate?

When I came to Columbia, my roommate and I got along really well. We still do. However, three weeks into the year, I learned that he is gay. I have no problems with this, I'd like to think that I'm open-minded — but can you give me some advice on how to handle this relationship?


Do mumps and swollen testes affect fertility?

I have a question about mumps: I had mumps while I was thirteen-years-old. I remembered that because of embarrassment. I was afraid to tell my parents about the inflammation (swelling of the testicles) at the same time I had mumps. I did not have treatment for the swelling of my testicles due to mumps. Later, the swelling went away about the same time as my mumps. Although I still can produce semen, I am deeply disturbed whether that swelling could have hindered my fertility (i.e., no production of sperm due to the blockage of the sperm channels).


Can I still sleep over now that my girlfriend has a roommate?

I have a problem. The problem is my new roommate. We didn't know that he was gay when we asked him to be our roommate because he went out with girls before he moved in. After a month of living with us he started going to gay night at the local clubs and then found this guy. It is a week later and when my other roommate came home from seeing his girlfriend he found condoms all over the place. He didn't even clean up his mess! What should we do? We still have to live with him for another year.


What can I do if I have no privacy to masturbate?

I used to always masturbate at least once a day before I came here to college. However, now that I have a roommate, I can never find time alone to masturbate. I feel a need to masturbate at least once a day, but now I can't go through with my urge every day. Thus I start thinking about masturbation during class, and it's really affecting my mind. I need to masturbate or else I can't function correctly. Please help me out. Maybe there is another means to get out my sexual urges.


Is there a way to stop being so sensitive to noise?

I have sensitive hearing. This is a major problem when I am trying to go to sleep. I find myself singling out every noise. Currently, I live in an apartment close to a major ventilation system. I can hear a very low frequency sound coming from it. It wouldn't bother me except for the fact that it is a random, consistent noise. Think of a ticking clock that doesn't tick at an exact rate, but ticks once, twice, maybe three times every second.

However, my roommate cannot hear this sound and my girlfriend can only hear it if she really strains to. Myself, I can hear it over music, TV, running water, etc...

I am beginning to envy people with hearing disorders. I am at the point I'd be happy to be deaf.

My question is: Is there a way to decrease my hearing ability at least in the lower frequency range?

Thank you.


How can I navigate conversations with my partner about his living situation?

At my school, there are three kinds of rooms: singles (one person in one room), doubles (two people in one room), and walk-throughs (two people in two rooms with a door separating them). My partner is living in a walk-through double with a friend of his. He lives on the inside room, which means I have to walk through his roommate’s room to get to his room. I hate it! I feel so guilty leaving my partner's room late at night and if my partner's roommate isn't home, I feel like I'm somehow invading his privacy by walking through his room. When we hang out, I get uncomfortable being intimate (or even just hanging out pantsless!) with my partner knowing that his roommate is on the other side of the door. There's supposed to be more privacy, but in some ways, it feels like we have less! My partner and his roommate haven't had any trouble with the walk-through arrangement... but I do. I feel weird talking to his roommate about guidelines and solutions because it isn't my room. How can I find ways to set guidelines and boundaries for this peculiar situation without making myself a huge nuisance?


How can I help a roommate with an eating disorder?

I am writing in hopes that your answer to this question will help other readers. A few years ago, when I was in college, I discovered that my college roommate was bulimic. My boyfriend and I found evidence in the mornings that she had been vomiting on a daily basis; she also developed weird eating habits (at 6 A.M., she would wake up and buy two pints of ice cream and eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day). We didn't know how to address the problem, and were afraid of hurting her. When we called the Health Service, they took the "my best friend is bulimic" line to suggest that I was bulimic instead! I didn't want to become the food "hall monitor" — are you eating? What did you eat today? etc. — but we tried to include her in healthy meals.

Eventually, some other stress factors in her life calmed down and her binge/purge behavior seemed to subside. However, I've always regretted that I couldn't attack this situation head-on. Do you have any advice for people that might be in a similar situation?


How can I move forward with a homophobic roommate?

I'm a lesbian and I think that my roommate could be slightly homophobic. We have never really had a great relationship but now that I've come out to her, we don't talk much at all. How do I talk with her about this issue so that we can put it behind is without making it so awkward?


How can I prevent and relieve neck pain?

When I worry/stress out, I find the muscles on one side of my neck (usually the right side) begin to tighten up to the point of acute pain. On occasion, the pain reaches from the back of my ear, down my neck (the most painful point), through my shoulder, down the arm, and in extreme cases to the tips of my fingers. Two questions:

1. How do I stop this?
2. How do I relieve the pain when it occurs?

I'm currently suffering from one of these neck aches, and can't turn my head, so I'd really appreciate your response.


Is it dangerous to get oral sex from someone with braces?

1) I'm a young gay man, and I'm concerned about oral sex and HIV. What are the risks, statistically and in your opinion, of receiving oral sex without a condom? Also, and this will sound kind of funny, I have braces, so I'm assuming giving head is dangerous.

2) A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were having oral sex and... well, to make a long story short, my penis got "snagged" on her braces and I received a deep cut on the head. I put Neosporin on it every night for a week, but the cut doesn't seem to be healing very quickly. I don't want to go to Health Services because of the embarrassing nature of the problem.

Help me quickly, please, because it also is very painful to urinate, let alone have any sexual activity. I was also wondering if there was a risk in contracting any STDs from this occurrence. I would really appreciate any advice you can give me.


Is there lead in stoneware and if so, is it harmful?

I have purchased a set of stoneware dishes for a friend for Christmas, but my family has told me that stoneware (even when microwave and dishwasher safe) can be harmful due to a high lead content. Is this true of all stoneware dinnerware? I would appreciate any information on the subject. Thanks!


Is it possible to get BSE (mad cow disease) from gelatin?

I would like to know if I should be concerned with the risk of contracting "bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE)" or its human variant, from the use of vitamins, supplements, over-the-counter medication, or pills prescribed by a doctor which contain gelatin?

I understand that one of the main components of gelatin comes from the bones and skin of cows and that it is often imported from other countries. I also understand that it is highly unlikely that the standard processes involved in producing gelatin would ever remove or disable the BSE contamination.

It is also very alarming that BSE has a long incubation period (years) whereby the infected person has no symptoms. However, when symptoms do occur, the person dies a horrible death, via a deformed and shrinking brain, usually soon thereafter.

Since gelatin is used in so many food products, is it realistic to try avoiding all gelatin?

What are the mathematical chances of contracting the disease from gelatin in a food product?

Is there fewer gelatins in a standard hard pill as opposed to a "soft gel" capsule?

I feel the FDA, U.S. Government, and more importantly, the food and supplement industries, should do more to insure that all food products and supplements used in America are free from contamination of this horrible disease in order to prevent any chance of an outbreak like the one seen in Europe a few years ago.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this subject.


How can I sleep with my girlfriend without making my roommate uncomfortable?

My girlfriend and I both go to the same college and have been sleeping together for a while now, which has been easy because she has a room of her own. However, because of the way university housing worked out for next year, both of us are going to be living in doubles with roommates. We would like to continue sleeping together, but I realize that having a roommate could make this difficult. Should I approach my future roommate about the situation, and if so how should I go about doing so?


What's the value of food sensitivity tests?

First of all I would like to thank you for your work and help. Could you tell me, what is the significance of expensive food sensitivity tests based on IgG values? Most people receive a list of dozens of foods to eliminate from their diets without causing them any problems. I think it can lead to develop eating disorders or nutrient deficiencies. What do you think? Thank you so much for your opinion!


What's TMJ and how can I get some relief?

1) What is TMJ? What kind of doctor handles this problem?

2) I have a rather odd problem. For the past several years, I have noticed that when I open my mouth wide to yawn or take a bite out of a sandwich, the right condyle of my jawbone slips laterally from the temporomandibular joint, making it difficult, and at times, painful, to close my mouth. I basically have to slip the condyle back into the socket; otherwise, it slips in by itself, which is what causes the pain.

Other than being inconvenient, this has not adversely affected me in any way that I can tell, except that I am now careful not to open my mouth completely when I yawn. I am reluctant to see a doctor about this because I cannot reproduce the situation at will, and don't know if the problem can be diagnosed or detected unless the doctor actually sees the condyle slip out.

Also, any time I have gone to Health Services, it seems that whatever the problem, they just send me home with a jar full of ibuprofen. What do you think is wrong? Is this problem serious? Does it deserve immediate attention? What type of doctor would I need to see and could I get a referral from Health Services?