Will anti-anxiety meds make me a zombie?

Recently I've begun experiencing attacks of phobia and anxiety much more than I ever have before. I am aware of most of the problems in my life causing these feelings and am working on fixing the problem from the inside out, but am worried that my life will suffer if I can't get these feelings squared away soon. I often wake up nauseous and am unfit to go to work for several hours, and my eating habits have also been suffering.

My question: would taking an anti-phobic or anti-anxiety (not anti-depressant) medication fabricate calm to such an extent that I wouldn't be able to feel and deal with the causes of my stress head on? I'm looking for something to keep me functioning while I work through this, not in finding a chemical solution that I end up dependent on for my happiness and well-being.

Thanks in advance.


Was I raped?

In the beginning, I told my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex outside of marriage and he accepted that.

But then, about a week ago, I made a very big mistake and allowed him to take my clothes off completely and enter my vagina slightly. I know it was wrong and the following day I told him that I didn't feel right about it and I didn't want us to do that again.

Unfortunately, the very next day, we were alone together, and we got a bit carried away again. But when he tried to "enter" me, I said: "I think we should stop now, let's stop — ok? Please, let's stop now. I don't feel right about this." But he didn't... he spread my legs anyway and got on top of me. And he penetrated me quite deeply. As he was doing it, I was saying, "Stop, please, I really think we should stop," but I didn't push him away. I didn't physically PUSH him or something to make him stop.

I was quite shook up afterwards but I didn't know if I should be angry with him or not. We are still together and I don't even think he thinks he did anything wrong... DID he do anything wrong? Or is what he did alright because my body wasn't saying "no"? I didn't fight him physically. Do you think I was raped? I'm so confused and I've lost all my self-respect!


Am I bulimic, or is it just a phase?

I am a college freshman and I think I'm on my way to becoming bulimic. Since my junior year of high school, I have periodically binged and tried to purge, but I was never really successful and it was never frequent. My senior year I made myself semi-successfully throw up for the first time, but it was gross and scary and made my throat bleed and I stopped. However, since I've gotten to school this year, I feel like things have gotten out of control. I started out eating healthfully and losing weight, because I am about 15 pounds overweight and need to make a lower weight class for my sport. (I am at a high level and compete internationally.) I'm also terrified of the "freshman fifteen" since I've always been chubby at the least. I couldn't keep up my healthy eating and snapped, and now I binge all the time and for the past few weeks have been throwing up. I think I could stop but I'm not sure. Am I bulimic or just going through typical freshman food phase?

Thanks for any advice.


How do I begin to talk with my children about sex?

I have three young daughters (ages 8, 6, and 3 years), and I know that it is about time to begin teaching them and talking to them about sexual issues. But my mother never talked to me about such things, so I really don't know where to begin. I do need to do it soon, though, because I was molested as a child and I don't want my girls to go through the same thing, you know, thinking they have no one to talk to about such things. Because my Mother never believed me when I told her that someone had molested me, I want my girls to be able to talk to me about anything. But I am very shy and easily embarrassed by certain issues, such as sex. How can I overcome this, and how do I spark a conversation about sex with a six-year-old, what should or shouldn't she know, and how can I explain things so she will understand? Same thing for the three-year-old.


Does fear of another sex impact my sexuality?

I am a woman who has always been attracted to other women. Until recently, I was attracted to men as well. Now I am almost exclusively attracted to women... which would be fine, except that I think this attraction has a lot to do with painful experiences I’ve had with men. When I was younger, my father was dominant and somewhat abusive, and my first boyfriend was emotionally manipulative and pressured me to have sex with him. After breaking things off with him, I had a very positive sexual relationship with a woman. Am I a lesbian, or am I a bisexual who is just afraid of men? If the latter is true, is there any way to get over this fear?


Is stress causing my chest pain?

1) For the past year now, I have been getting sharp chest pains. Sometimes it feels like I am about to have a heart attack. I find it painful to breathe for the couple of seconds that it happens. The sharp pains occur mostly in the lung/heart area. However, I have also felt them in the lower chest area as well. I don't know what is causing this.

Also, it occurs most frequently during the school year. I should also note that during the school year, I tend to eat greasy fatty foods. However, I had my cholesterol level checked (95) which is low. These pains come any time of day, while I am sleeping, walking, sitting, etc. I am 21-year-old female, if that helps.

By the way, I have a doctor's appointment back home later this month. But I want to have an idea why this happening. Others mentioned to me things about stress, something about a dog's heart, and I was even thinking that it might be cancer.

2) I've recently been experiencing chest pains in the sternum area. Although I don't believe it is related to heart trouble, I think the pain is originating from the bones or muscles attached to the sternum. I have seen doctors but most are clueless as to where the pain may be specifically originating. An interesting side is that during times of stress, the pain is more severe and concentrated at specific points along the sternum. One hypothesis is that the pain may be related to an injured sterno-manubrial joint. If indeed this is the case, what therapy is available to a poor, uninsured student? My mental health is being affected since my once pumped-up, rock hard body is slowly atrophying since I can't lift weights without extreme pain. I'm depressed because the size of my chest is now smaller. What do I do? What's wrong with me?


Is it possible to be afraid of being raped if I’ve never had sex?

Sometimes I think what it would be like to be with a man, romantically. I am a single woman, and have never had any relationships. Sometimes, though, when I am imagining what it could be like, it turns violent on me, in my mind, and I always end up being raped. This makes me apprehensive and scared of ever becoming involved with anyone. I am scared that everyone I meet will do this to me. I think that it wouldn't be too bad to be single for the rest of my life, but I want to be loved, to be held. What do you think?


Should I tell my partner I was raped when I was a virgin?

Well, the thing is that I have this boyfriend. He is twenty and I am seventeen. I really like, and am falling in love with, him. We have discussed sex, and he isn't a virgin, and neither am I, but I lied and said I was. I really want to tell him, but I'm afraid he'll get mad. My first time was with a guy who I had a crush on, and we went on a date, and he raped me. In my heart, I'm still a virgin, but, in definition, I am not. Should I tell my boyfriend?