Why am I depressed as I navigate my sexuality?

Thank you for everything, and it is being appreciated by thousands. I have read all your advice to others and have learned a lot. However, I have a problem that I do not know how to handle. It started when I decided to turn myself around from being bisexual to straight (nobody knew what I was, except my best friend, who is also bisexual). I now have a big hole inside me that is being filled by the dark things of life (such as hatred). I had good qualities, such as a great personality, being open-minded, and I would rather go through life without it than turn back to the "bad" habits (please do not get me wrong, I will never judge gays for I have been close to being one). Please help me to fill the hole with life, to get back or improve on my qualities, and to gain the knowledge to approach and attract someone of the opposite sex. And one last thing, do you think it is wise to let my future girlfriend know what I used to be?


Are there health concerns associated with consuming Sucralose (Splenda)?

1) What are your thoughts regarding the use of Splenda as a sugar substitute? I have heard that the body is not able to metabolize this and that it is excreted through the urine. Do you have any current research on Splenda and the side effects? I realize it is a relatively new product. Thank you!

2) I searched the archives and found no information on Splenda or sucralose. Lately, it seems like Splenda is gaining popularity in the crowded sugar-substitute category. It seems too good to be true — measures cup for cup like sugar, you can bake with it and mix it into drinks, and it is made from sugar so it really tastes like sugar. My two questions are... is this a safe product, or are there some disadvantages with the product? And secondly, if it is very safe and versatile, why aren't more companies using it now?


Am I eating good or bad fats?

I know it's necessary to have a certain amount of fat in your diet, but occasionally I hear about "good fat" and "bad fat." What is the difference? Is that the same as saturated/unsaturated? What foods have "good fat"? Can I tell by looking at the nutrition label on a food product which kind of fat I'm eating?


What can I do if I forget to eat or have a low appetite?

1) For as long as I can remember, I've had a fairly low appetite. I love food — cooking it, eating it, savoring it — but if it's not in front of me, I can easily forget about it. In high school, it wasn't uncommon for me to make it through a whole day without realizing I'd only had half a sandwich and a handful of M&Ms to eat. I'm living on my own and cooking my own meals now, but without predetermined family meal times, I'm struggling with portion control and meal planning. So many resources say that I should just "trust my body" when it comes to my diet, but my body won't tell me what it needs! Some days I feel like I'm packing too much food for lunch; other days, I completely forget about lunch altogether. How can I make sure I don't accidentally become a chronic under eater — or overcompensate and eat too much? When and how much should I be eating?

2) Lots of people worry about overeating. I have the opposite problem. I just don't get hungry. Some days I'll realize it's 10 pm and I haven't eaten anything in 24 hours, but I don't feel any need to have food. (At this point I'll usually make myself eat something).

I maintain a healthy weight, but I'm sure this habit of forgetting to eat isn't good. Do you have any advice for boosting appetite?


Are there resources for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse and incest?

I am a male survivor of childhood (homo)sexual abuse and incest. I have recently stopped my horribly abusive alcohol and drug habits and am having to deal more with my issues now that I'm not using "painkillers." I'm worried that if I don't do something soon, I might be miserable for the rest of my life and may never be able to have a relationship or even sex. I am very hurt by the fact that there are no resources on campus for male survivors. All the groups are for women, as if male survivors don't exist. Anyways, please refer me to any resources you are aware of in NYC. Thanks.