I am a freshman who has just moved into the "social dorm." It's only been a few days, but I already feel like my place in the social strata is being cemented — I'm somewhat overweight, and although I can be very talkative and can force myself to make the effort to meet people despite being nervous, I feel like I'm already being classed as one of the straight-edge less popular types. I don't mind that I'm not the type who makes 500 friends instantly; I'm still managing to make a few good acquaintances/potential friends.

The problem is that the people I make friends with aren't really the party types, and while I'm not a huge party person either, I still want to get to go to some and have the whole "college experience." How is it that other people are "in the know" about parties and stuff like, as soon as they get here? What are the qualities that make them seem to bond so instantly? How do I get myself invited to at least some of these events?? I don't want to crash the parties and show up alone...

The mother of one of my best friends from high school was diagnosed with liver cancer a few months ago. She is quite ill and in a lot of pain. She's been in and out of the hospital lately and things don't look so good. My own father was diagnosed with prostate cancer a year and a half ago, but he is really doing quite well (with medication, treatment, etc.). My friend's mother will probably be dead within six months to a year, so I'm not going through an immediate crisis.

My question is: What things should (and shouldn't) I be saying to, and doing for, my friend? I try so hard to be there for her but I really don't know what she's going through. She is very matter-of-fact about the fact that her mom is going to die. But I'm sure there's something I could be doing, isn't there? I hate feeling like I'm actually making her feel worse! Could you give me some idea of what she might be going through right now and how I could help? Even if it's a method for taking her mind off it occasionally (if that's a good idea).

I have just entered into my first real relationship with a guy that I really like. The problem is, he's incredibly bright. So much so that it intimidates me a little. He doesn't brag or make me feel unintelligent (and I know I'm not), it's just a part of who he is. He cares a lot about me, but I want to feel that our relationship is more than physical. I've always valued intelligence, and I really enjoy being with this guy, but there is an aspect of him that I'm not able to be a part of. Thanks for your help.

I have Vitiligo on my penis and on other parts of my body, but it's really starting to mess with my head with girls when they first see my penis. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it just has loss of pigmentation. What should I do?

All the people in my major seem to breeze through homework, tests, and absorb every lecture like they've heard it a million times. This leads me to believe that I might have chosen the wrong major, even though it is what I really want to do. I'm already a senior, so changing majors now is out of the question for me, since I've already made all the arrangements for graduation. I know I will graduate with a very low GPA... not even high enough to get into graduate school in my major. The coursework that I'm headed towards in my last two semesters seems like total rocket science to me and asking for help, even from close friends in my major, is very embarrassing. I normally wouldn't mind asking my friends for help, but they have very belittling things to say about other people who don't understand the concepts. Plus, everyone that tutors for my major is also in my classes, so asking for help there is also impossible. I feel that if I don't get help and start understanding things essential to my major, I will completely abandon the idea of going to graduate school, or even trying to get a job related to my major. I don't want four years of schooling to go to waste... what should I do?

I go to a college that offers free counseling to students. While I would like to take advantage of this, I feel that my pride is getting in the way of getting any help that I may need. I’m afraid of someone seeing me walk into the office, and someone seeing me in the waiting room of the office as well. (The door is left open). Any ideas on how I go about this? I'm also worried because a guy I know and work with, also works in there. He is the obnoxious, jock-type and going in there while he is working, is a concern of mine — also, if he sees that I have an appointment.

Your advice to "Surround yourself with positive, healthy people" is good. But this is part of my insecurities. It seems that everyone will want to surround themselves with positive, healthy people; but if I'm not healthy mentally, why should people want to be around me? I fear I'm excluded because, even when I try to hide my insecurities, they still show and people don't want to be around a "downer." Any advice on this aspect?

It seems like me and several friends have been going through a bit of disappointment/boredom with life after graduation. I work long hours and am too tired to socialize like I did when I was in school. I was just wondering if there's such a phenomenon of post-college depression?

Last year I was Teetering on the Brink and this year I've fallen off of it. The teetering individual who was worried about how much she thought about food and her weight has turned into a very scared person who has fallen off the brink, with little on her mind but what she eats, when she eats it, and how she looks. I haven't had my period for almost a year and exercise compulsively until I can't anymore, when my legs simply hurt so bad and my knees won't hold me up. Worse, I seem to be losing bladder control — several times when I've been very tired, I've wet the bed at night or been unable to wait until I got to a bathroom. I can't live like this anymore and every morning I promise myself I'm going to change but then night rolls around and I've not changed a thing. Please tell me something that will help — I never knew desperation's face was this thin.