Will I ever get over my grief?

Thanks very much for being here, for all us angst-ridden students of the world. My problem is that my father died two years ago from a heart attack that he suffered on his way to work. It was very difficult to comprehend his death. It seemed to be so unfair and arbitrary. I was angry. Very angry for a long period of time. I am over that now. I learned that anger is easier, more expedient to deal with than the nitty gritty of emotions.

While I was in England, the leader of the British opposition party died of a fatal heart attack. The news has devastated me. I keep thinking of the awful things that I went through when the same thing happened to me. Will I ever get over this?


How can I help my friend whose mom has cancer?

The mother of one of my best friends from high school was diagnosed with liver cancer a few months ago. She is quite ill and in a lot of pain. She's been in and out of the hospital lately and things don't look so good. My own father was diagnosed with prostate cancer a year and a half ago, but he is really doing quite well (with medication, treatment, etc.). My friend's mother will probably be dead within six months to a year, so I'm not going through an immediate crisis.

My question is: What things should (and shouldn't) I be saying to, and doing for, my friend? I try so hard to be there for her but I really don't know what she's going through. She is very matter-of-fact about the fact that her mom is going to die. But I'm sure there's something I could be doing, isn't there? I hate feeling like I'm actually making her feel worse! Could you give me some idea of what she might be going through right now and how I could help? Even if it's a method for taking her mind off it occasionally (if that's a good idea).


Should I start PrEP?

If my husband takes antivirals or post-exposure prophylaxis can we still have sex with a condom and still complete the process like normal? It is affecting our sex life because he does not want to infect me. I don't want to be infected but I knew what I was getting into from the start. I might start PrEP as it is now available to me. What are your thoughts?


How can I work through the grief of a child's death?

My oldest daughter died in a motor vehicle accident seven months ago. I have a husband and three other daughters. I am very depressed. Some days I think I won't make it. Some days I don't want to. I know that my life has been changed forever, but what can I do to help ease the pain — and to help me "move on" with my life?


Is there a connection between Depo-Provera and hair loss?

I have taken three Depo-Provera shots. My hair started falling out excessively several months ago. In looking for answers I found out that this is a side effect to the shots. I was not informed of that before I took the shots. I saw in one of your Go Ask Alice! answers that depo-provera suppresses the Follicle Stimulating Hormone and the Luteinizing Hormone. What is this hormone? Is this what makes my hair fall out? And do you know if there is anything I can do to stop it? My next shot is due by May 15 but I am not going to get it. Thanks.


What should I expect when I go off of birth control pills?

I've been taking birth control pills for almost seven years and decided to stop taking them as of my last cycle last week. What kind of changes should I be expecting? How long will it take for my body to get used to not having the hormones? In the past few days, I've been feeling very edgy, tired, and with on and off headaches. Is it true that once you withdraw from birth control pills, you may actually lose a few pounds?


Why does my partner's condom keeps coming off inside?

Quite often when my boyfriend and I have sex, the condom disappears into my vagina. As you can imagine, it is extremely mood killing and a little disconcerting for me to have to reach up there and find it. I read your response to another couple with the same problem, and we'll definitely make sure to hold onto the condom before pulling out. I use Depo-Provera (so the condom is used just to be extra sure), so I'm not particularly worried about pregnancy. What I would like to know, though, is why this happens to us so often? I've never lost condoms with any other partners. I also have the feeling sometimes that it might be coming off before ejaculation. This seems to happen quite frequently (one out of every two or three times we have sex). It's kind of frustrating. Is there anything else we could do differently?