Was I raped?

In the beginning, I told my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex outside of marriage and he accepted that.

But then, about a week ago, I made a very big mistake and allowed him to take my clothes off completely and enter my vagina slightly. I know it was wrong and the following day I told him that I didn't feel right about it and I didn't want us to do that again.

Unfortunately, the very next day, we were alone together, and we got a bit carried away again. But when he tried to "enter" me, I said: "I think we should stop now, let's stop — ok? Please, let's stop now. I don't feel right about this." But he didn't... he spread my legs anyway and got on top of me. And he penetrated me quite deeply. As he was doing it, I was saying, "Stop, please, I really think we should stop," but I didn't push him away. I didn't physically PUSH him or something to make him stop.

I was quite shook up afterwards but I didn't know if I should be angry with him or not. We are still together and I don't even think he thinks he did anything wrong... DID he do anything wrong? Or is what he did alright because my body wasn't saying "no"? I didn't fight him physically. Do you think I was raped? I'm so confused and I've lost all my self-respect!


Why did she break up with me?

I don't know what I did wrong. My girlfriend of one and a half years broke up with me out of the blue. We never fought or argued. I asked her why, she said "I don't know." I asked her what did I do wrong and she said "nothing." She was my first ever girlfriend and I was planning to ask her to marry me. I don't understand what I did wrong. There has to be a reason. Why won't she tell me?


Can our relationship survive summer break if we haven't had sex yet?

I am a 19-year-old college student and am seriously involved with my boyfriend who is a 20-year-old college student. We have even talked of getting married someday. Our relationship is very close and we talk about everything, and he is very wonderful and supportive. I feel very committed to him and would really like to have sex with him. We have tried twice, but it hasn't really worked out because my vagina is too tight. I am pretty sure the problem is just that it needs to be stretched more, because I have been to the gynecologist and don't have any infections. He says that he is okay with whatever we do and that he loves me no matter what, but I still feel guilty about not being able to go all the way. How do I get over this guilt? I will be leaving college for the summer soon and we will be separated for awhile and I want to make sure that our relationship is as solid as possible before I leave so we have the absolute best chances of surviving the summer!


How do I tell my girlfriend I'm sterile?

I am an 18-year-old male. And I lost my ability to reproduce in a bull riding accident at a rodeo I competed in about two years ago. I would like to father children more than anything. And now I have a girlfriend who is talking of wanting to have kids in the future. But I can't bring myself to tell her that I can't because I still haven't dealt with the problem of coping with it myself. I need to know how to deal with the fact I cannot have kids, especially now that my significant other wants them, but is ignorant to the fact that I am sterile. Please help me ASAP! This is tearing me apart.


Where to meet fellow grad students

1) I am 24 and just started a part time Masters' program. My last relationship was two years ago and I find it pretty difficult at my age to meet respectable guys. I enjoy the bar scene with friends, but don't find that it's very easy to meet good people there.

Anyway, do you have any suggestions as to where to meet decent men at my school and in my age group?

2) As an incoming grad student, I have a rather obvious question, which is something troubling lots of people here, I'm sure. Since we rarely have any academic contacts outside our own departments, where on campus are the best places and/or methods to meet women? It is a little too pretentious to just start talking to them out of nowhere....


How can boyfriend with cerebral palsy get in touch with his body?

I am dating a wonderful, intelligent, and caring man who happens to have cerebral palsy. We are both 20 years old, and this is the first romantic relationship he's been involved in. I am the kind of person who expresses things physically; through hugs, caresses, kisses, etc. Unfortunately, those sort of things make him terribly uncomfortable (psychologically, not physically). He's not used to physical affection and he just doesn't know how to interpret it.

He doesn't see himself as attractive, and it scares him to think that he can be so to anyone, let alone me. Having lived with a disability his entire life, he has pretty much dissociated himself from his body, it having been mainly a source of frustration to him. Is there anything I/he/we can do to help him feel comfortable in and get connected with his body?


Why did my father abandon me?

My father left my mother before I was born. They had a good relationship and were happy, but then my mom became pregnant with me. She had trouble telling my father, who was only eighteen at the time, and said she didn't expect him to play a role in my life. So, he left.

I've never seen him or spoken to him in my life. I have no idea what he looks like or who he is and he seems to have no desire to have anything at all to do with me. In fact, he ditched town the day after he found out. I'm mad... I'm mad at my mother for making it so easy for him to leave and I hate that man for what he did. I'm still young and even I can't imagine deserting a child and leaving them without a parent for their entire life. But then maybe that's because I know how it feels and I would never put anyone through that kind of pain. As a girl, I suppose it's hard to understand. Perhaps you can help me to understand his reasoning?


Does fear of another sex impact my sexuality?

I am a woman who has always been attracted to other women. Until recently, I was attracted to men as well. Now I am almost exclusively attracted to women... which would be fine, except that I think this attraction has a lot to do with painful experiences I’ve had with men. When I was younger, my father was dominant and somewhat abusive, and my first boyfriend was emotionally manipulative and pressured me to have sex with him. After breaking things off with him, I had a very positive sexual relationship with a woman. Am I a lesbian, or am I a bisexual who is just afraid of men? If the latter is true, is there any way to get over this fear?


Can I treat depression on my own?

I'm a first year college student. Since the holidays I started experiencing a very strong horrible feeling; so horrible I preferred to die than to keep on feeling it (the suicidal thoughts come and go still, but it's not as strong as in the beginning). It's very puzzling though because I don't have a reason to feel like this, not one that I know of at least.

I thought of going to a psychologist, or psychiatrist, but I don't have money to do so, and I thought that maybe I should try curing myself first. Is there any way to try to fight depression by myself? Also, if I don't have a reason to feel depressed, what reasons could there be for what's happening to me? I read in other things you wrote to people that depression may be also caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. How do I know if that's happening to me?


Is it possible to be afraid of being raped if I’ve never had sex?

Sometimes I think what it would be like to be with a man, romantically. I am a single woman, and have never had any relationships. Sometimes, though, when I am imagining what it could be like, it turns violent on me, in my mind, and I always end up being raped. This makes me apprehensive and scared of ever becoming involved with anyone. I am scared that everyone I meet will do this to me. I think that it wouldn't be too bad to be single for the rest of my life, but I want to be loved, to be held. What do you think?