Are there resources for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse and incest?

I am a male survivor of childhood (homo)sexual abuse and incest. I have recently stopped my horribly abusive alcohol and drug habits and am having to deal more with my issues now that I'm not using "painkillers." I'm worried that if I don't do something soon, I might be miserable for the rest of my life and may never be able to have a relationship or even sex. I am very hurt by the fact that there are no resources on campus for male survivors. All the groups are for women, as if male survivors don't exist. Anyways, please refer me to any resources you are aware of in NYC. Thanks.


How can I help my friend who's in an abusive relationship?

My best friend is in an abusive relationship! And he knows this! He married his wife about a year ago, when she was 19 and he was 21. And since then, she's verbally abused him, hit him, and even broke down their door once to get to him when he had locked himself in his room. But he refuses to do anything about it, since he "loves her so much." I hate seeing him like this. I'm worried about him. He's been physically hurt by her a lot. And while he can hold his own without getting seriously injured, it's painful to see. He calls me a lot, feeling upset about what she's done... I'm so worried about him.

He's told me he knows she's abusive, and that he wants to take her to marriage counseling... but I know that won't help. I don't want to sound biased, but she's very close minded and I know she won't listen to any counselor. But he "loves her so much" and "doesn't believe in divorce". What can I do to help him?


How can I have fun without drugs?

I think it would be a good idea for me to stop smoking marijuana and cut down on my drinking, at least during the school year. The problem is, I have been doing it for so long it is almost as though I have forgotten how to have fun without it. Contributing to this problem is the fact that many of my friends smoke or drink to have fun. Many of my other friends just do not seem to have fun at all; they stay in Friday and Saturday nights to do work. I've found it difficult to quit, I think because I'm just not sure of what's out there to do that's fun without being stoned or drunk. Can you recommend anything that's fun whether you're intoxicated or sober, so that I don't have to stop hanging out with certain friends if I want to relax and have fun? I want to finally enjoy life without relying on an altered state of consciousness. What's there to do when you're sick of renting movies? Also, any tips for resisting the urge to take people up on their offer to toke up? (I'm never pressured into it, but it's like the dieter who's offered some chocolate cake — it's there, it looks sooo good, and the fact that other people are doing it makes it seem more "okay.") Thanks so much.


Can I talk about my relationship in therapy without my girlfriend getting uncomfortable?

My partner gets nervous every time I see my psychotherapist because she doesn't like the idea of me talking about our relationship. For her, it's anxiety-producing because she fears there are things I tell my therapist that I don't tell her. For me, it's anxiety-producing because I feel like my therapy sessions should be a safe and confidential space for me and because I feel like having that space has made our relationship better overall. How can I assuage her fears and anxieties without feeling like I have to, a) tell her everything I say in therapy, or b) lie and say that she doesn't come up?


How do marijuana and Prozac interact?

I have two friends who were recently diagnosed with depression. They were both prescribed Prozac by their respective doctors. Both of them are heavy marijuana users and both failed to mention that to their doctors. One has been on Prozac for two months and the other for six weeks. I have noticed that their behavior has become strange: mood swings, paranoia, oversleeping, fatigue. They continue taking their Prozac (20 mg a day) and continue smoking pot. I am afraid that there might be some negative interaction between the substances, one being an antidepressant and the other a depressant. Can you provide some insight?


What should I do if someone close to me disclosed they were raped?

I've been seeing this guy off and on for a few months. We're not a couple, but we're definitely more than just friends. (College is making it a bit difficult for us to actually be a couple.) But that's beside the point.

We were having a very serious discussion the other night, as he and I have already been through quite a bit. And all of a sudden he said that he was raped by one of his friends when he first started college. He's never told anyone that, except for a therapist that he saw for a while after that.

I've had female friends that have been raped (very few, thank god), and it just seems wrong to deal with him on the same level as I deal with my female friends. One, the relationship is different. Two, he's a guy, not a girl. There are obviously different sympathies that I need to give. The only problem is, I don't know how to show him that I am sympathetic towards him, that I am here for him no matter what.

Do you have any advice about how I go about this. I really want to be here for him, whether we remain friends, or become something more. Thank you for anything in advance.