How can boyfriend with cerebral palsy get in touch with his body?

I am dating a wonderful, intelligent, and caring man who happens to have cerebral palsy. We are both 20 years old, and this is the first romantic relationship he's been involved in. I am the kind of person who expresses things physically; through hugs, caresses, kisses, etc. Unfortunately, those sort of things make him terribly uncomfortable (psychologically, not physically). He's not used to physical affection and he just doesn't know how to interpret it.

He doesn't see himself as attractive, and it scares him to think that he can be so to anyone, let alone me. Having lived with a disability his entire life, he has pretty much dissociated himself from his body, it having been mainly a source of frustration to him. Is there anything I/he/we can do to help him feel comfortable in and get connected with his body?


How may having spina bifida affect sex?

1) I'm 20 years old. I have spina bifida and I can walk perfectly normal but I have incontinence with my bladder. I get a lot of urinary tract infections, too. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. I am kind of worried about having sex with him because I always pee myself. I was wondering what I should do to stop getting these infections so I get be comfortable during sex and not have to think that I will pee on the bed.

2) I have been friends with a guy who has spina bifida for a while now, and recently, things took a turn for the better — we are just starting a relationship. I know that he has sensation below his waist, and can get an erection, but I wondered if there is anything about how his disability will affect our sex life. I am anxious for it to be pleasing for both of us, and although we are open enough for me to ask him questions, I would like to go in prepared so to speak! Is there anything that will be able to help me in making sure that the first time for us won't be awkward, uncomfortable or downright crap?!


How do I communicate that I’m about to ejaculate during oral sex?

I tried looking through all of the letters, and even tried searching, but I didn't see anything pertaining to this:

I've never had a blow job, but would like one...some day...:) I was wondering, if, when you peak, if it's acceptable to just let yourself cum inside the person's mouth? Should you give a warning? Should you attempt to restrain from it?

I realize this question may sound rather juvenile, but who else can I turn to?


What's the difference between a vaginal and clitoral orgasm?

What's the difference between a vaginal and clitoral orgasm? Is it only possible to have a vaginal orgasm during intercourse? If you can have a clitoral orgasm through other activity, but not intercourse, why is that? If your clitoris is stimulated during intercourse, will that give you a clitoral orgasm during sex? So how do you have a vaginal one? Can you have both at the same time?


Why did my father abandon me?

My father left my mother before I was born. They had a good relationship and were happy, but then my mom became pregnant with me. She had trouble telling my father, who was only eighteen at the time, and said she didn't expect him to play a role in my life. So, he left.

I've never seen him or spoken to him in my life. I have no idea what he looks like or who he is and he seems to have no desire to have anything at all to do with me. In fact, he ditched town the day after he found out. I'm mad... I'm mad at my mother for making it so easy for him to leave and I hate that man for what he did. I'm still young and even I can't imagine deserting a child and leaving them without a parent for their entire life. But then maybe that's because I know how it feels and I would never put anyone through that kind of pain. As a girl, I suppose it's hard to understand. Perhaps you can help me to understand his reasoning?


How can I approach my friend about her constant competitiveness?

My "best friend" of almost 4 years now has always been competitive, but it's never been something we've discussed. Every time I'm wearing something trendy or saying something new, she will do the same thing. When we used to run in aerobics class, she would constantly try to beat my scores. I confronted her about that, but she never seems to learn — she still copies me and competes with everything from grades to guys. If I address the problems I've had in the past, I will look stupid because usually I would be the type to bring it up, but my life was too hectic at the time. Should I really "waste" time talking to her about her competitiveness? Or, is there a way to hint at it or persuade her to do something original?


Does fear of another sex impact my sexuality?

I am a woman who has always been attracted to other women. Until recently, I was attracted to men as well. Now I am almost exclusively attracted to women... which would be fine, except that I think this attraction has a lot to do with painful experiences I’ve had with men. When I was younger, my father was dominant and somewhat abusive, and my first boyfriend was emotionally manipulative and pressured me to have sex with him. After breaking things off with him, I had a very positive sexual relationship with a woman. Am I a lesbian, or am I a bisexual who is just afraid of men? If the latter is true, is there any way to get over this fear?


How can I tell my religious parents that I'm a lesbian without them disowning me?

I have a question that I am very afraid to ask anyone else. I am a 21-year-old college student who has been in a three year lesbian relationship with my college roommate. We are both deeply in love with each other and when it came time to tell her parents about our relationship, they were very supportive of our decision. My parents, on the other hand, are a different story. I was brought up in a very strict Roman Catholic family, where homosexuality is very much frowned upon. How can I tell my parents that I am a lesbian and make them understand without disowning me?