How can I help friend with a cocaine addiction?

My friend recently told me that she has a serious blow problem. She lives with her boyfriend and she said that all they do is work, sleep, and blow. By telling me this I understand that she has taken some very important steps into wanting to get better, but I'm completely useless in trying to help because I just don't know enough about the drug and rehab and ways to support her.

So far I've made the suggestion that she come spend some time with me and away from home so that the reminder of it is lessened, I can prevent her from bringing it in, and can try and keep her occupied to take her mind off it. What else can you suggest?


How can I move forward with a homophobic roommate?

I'm a lesbian and I think that my roommate could be slightly homophobic. We have never really had a great relationship but now that I've come out to her, we don't talk much at all. How do I talk with her about this issue so that we can put it behind is without making it so awkward?


Is menstrual synchrony fact or fiction?

Okay, so my mother does not believe, as I do, that when a group of women live closely together (i.e., in a dorm setting) that their menstrual cycles become roughly similar, due to the release of pheromones. I'm pretty sure that I heard this somewhere, but I can't find anything to back it up. I swear I'm not making it up, but my mom doesn't believe me.

Thanks for your help.


What to do when my boyfriend cares more if I cum than I do?

It's very hard for me to orgasm during sex, even if I help myself. I can do it all by my lonesome very quickly, but as soon as I'm with a guy, I just can't cum. However, I'm not worried by this whatsoever. I love sex, and I love everything about it. I love the act of sex, I love pleasuring my partner, I love the sights, smells, and sounds of sex. If I don't cum, meh, I'm still very happy. I'm no happier if I do orgasm during sex.

My problem seems to be keeping my partners happy with my contentment with not orgasming. They seem to think it's their life mission to make me orgasm. I had one boyfriend with whom I actually faked orgasming for a good two years because he was so upset that he couldn't make me cum. Every other partner I've had since then has taken it personally that I can't orgasm with them. It seems to put a bit of strain on my relationships.

I am with a new guy that I care for very deeply. He has been very understanding of my not orgasming, but he seems to try that much harder, and I think he is getting frustrated. I have orgasmed once since we've been together (a mere month and a bit), so it can be done, but I really don't want him to take it personally. I've told him already about this, and he said he was surprised that I'm cool with it. I REALLY don't want him to be disappointed and have this strain our relationship (like every other relationship I've had). I really do like him that much.

What can I do or say to ease his mind?


What are the different phases of the menstrual cycle?

1) You've mentioned a lot in this service about a woman's menstrual cycle, and the risks involved with unprotected sex. Details that you have mentioned include, for example, the high risk of pregnancy (i.e., as a result of unprotected sex or failed contraception) during the "fertile period" of a woman's cycle. What I would like to know is: what (typically) are the various stages in the cycle (e.g., ovulation followed by menstruation, etc.), when do they typically occur in the cycle, and, most importantly, WHEN are the (typical, of course) fertile and infertile (minimum chance of pregnancy) parts of the cycle?

2) When calculating the length of your menstrual cycle, what is considered to be the actual first day of your cycle? Is it the first day there is "red" bleeding, or does it also include the first day or two of brown discharge?


How can I convince my girlfriend I'm committed?

I have a girlfriend who I love dearly, but every time I say I love her, she tells me that someday I'll leave her for another girl just because it happened to her before she met me. How can I prove to her that I'll never leave her and make everything right again? Your answer may save our relationship. Please Alice, I need your help.


What can I do if partner finds doggie style painful?

1) My partner says she does not care for the "doggie" position because it causes her pain. I, on the other hand like to experiment and want to try everything. I guess I want more than just vanilla and she says if vanilla is great, continue to go for it. I guess I'm trying to sort out facts first. First, I know that only about 8 percent of women engage in this position. I guess I want to try it occasionally because the position gives me sight sensory as well as feeling. Anyway, I tell her I'd do anything she wants, anything to satisfy her in exchange for having sex in this position. I guess it's an obsession which becomes more of an obsession when it is denied!

Back to what she says. First, is that the angle is painful. She says the position is against the normal "curve" of the penis as it would enter in missionary position. Now on to the emotional side. What happens is that she will eventually consent but then because I feel guilty I jackrabbit and I can't enjoy it! What can be done to stop the pain she says is there? Is some of it emotional?

2) I like to have sex 'doggy style' more often than I could at the moment because my wife complains that it is painful. Is that common?


Can you tell me more about the efficacy, safety, and legality of Cannabidiol (CBD) oil?

I recently heard about CBD oil - that it can be effective for chronic pain and anxiety, both of which I've struggled with (and seen many specialists about) for years. But when I went looking for more information, I couldn't find many resources that looked like they came from legitimate, trustworthy sources. Can you shed some light on the subject?


How can I find a girlfriend?

I am a college grad who has always had trouble finding a girl to have a romantic relationship with. I have had only one real relationship during my junior year in college and it ended before the point in which we would have had sex. (Alas, I am still a virgin!). The other day my older brother (by one year) and I were talking about this and he advised me to be more aggressive. (I am admittedly somewhat shy). However, I fear that it may be something more basic than that. I used to not think that my brother was that much better looking than me but seeing girls walk across a crowded room to talk to him on more than one occasion while I stood right beside and watched has changed my mind and affected the confidence I have in myself. I'm starting to realize that all the girls I am interested in don't see me as attractive. Without even asking, I can see it in their eyes: "Let's just be friends." If my problem is lack of physical charms maybe I should set my sights lower.

What do you think??


Why am I uncomfortable with college stressors?

Until college, I was able to handle stress very well. I managed many responsibilities in and out of school, and was thrilled when I was accepted here. Now that I am here, however, I feel unusually unable to deal with daily stresses. I find myself sleeping more than I used to; I have difficulty focusing on work, and the feelings of stress that come upon me seem always to bring extra feelings of depression and confusion. I have decided to cut down on my drinking in order to keep up with my work, but it was never much of a problem before anyway. I don't use drugs, and I don't feel as though I have a hard time making friends. I am not, I don't think, homesick. I am however, somehow uncomfortable with college stresses. I know this isn't much to go on, but can you offer any insight? I don't feel crazy or insane, just a bit uncomfortable.


Can I get circumsized as an adult?

1) I am a male in his twenties, and I am considering circumcision. Is it safe to be circumcised at my age? And how many days do I need to recover?

2) I'm a guy who's considering being circumcised. What sort of health benefits are there to the procedure? Are there any drawbacks? Also, how much of the foreskin is removed? A little bit? Most of it? All of it, right down to the base of the head? Or what?


Should I get serious with someone from a different background?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He is perfect for me, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend, and we really love each other. The problem is that we have really different backgrounds socially and economically.

I have the more traditional family, parents married for 26 years and we're blessed enough to be financially very well off. However, his family has had lots of problems financially. In addition, his father isn’t financially responsible and he cheated on his mother. Besides that, we are different ethnicities.

My parents tell me that I can't be serious about him — they are afraid that his problems with his family will become my problems when we get married. Also, I can't communicate with his parents since they don't speak English very well. Over the past few months I've become increasingly irritated at his family. I have expressed to him that I don't know if we can really become serious because I don't want to deal with his family in the future. Am I overreacting?? I love him so much, but I feel like I can't marry him because of his background. What should I do? Am I blowing his background out of proportion in regards to a possible future together?


Why do I feel unrested when I dream?

I go through phases where, when I sleep, I don't have any dreams (that I remember, at least). I sleep well and I wake up rested. Every few months I go through a week or two when I have nights full of incredibly vivid dreams and I wake up remembering at least five or six of them. Because of all these vivid dreams, I wake up feeling far less rested than I do when I don’t dream at all. Is there a particular reason for this? Does dreaming more at night mean your sleep is less restful?


Is it dangerous to not drink water during sport practice?

I have a question about dehydration. I am an eighteen-year-old female and play on a varsity basketball team. We usually have two-hour practices in which we work very hard. Our coach does not give us water breaks, and usually by the end of practice, we have cottonmouth and are "dying" for water. It is horrible. Is there any way that not having water during that time can be dangerous? Sometimes the team can feel sick or weak by the end of a practice.


How can I prevent and relieve neck pain?

When I worry/stress out, I find the muscles on one side of my neck (usually the right side) begin to tighten up to the point of acute pain. On occasion, the pain reaches from the back of my ear, down my neck (the most painful point), through my shoulder, down the arm, and in extreme cases to the tips of my fingers. Two questions:

1. How do I stop this?
2. How do I relieve the pain when it occurs?

I'm currently suffering from one of these neck aches, and can't turn my head, so I'd really appreciate your response.


How can I exercise with bowlegs?

I have bowlegs. It is quite frustrating because I cannot do exercises that isolate and tone the thighs (lunges, squats, etc). When I do squats, my pressure/force comes from the calves and the knees, but not the thighs. Reason being is that the legs are not properly aligned, and pressure/force cannot go up to the thighs. It even hurts when I do squats because they involve bending the (crooked) knees. Are there any alternative thigh exercises?


Do you have suggestions for an effective, short-term weight loss and toning plan?

I am 18 years old and I am determined to lose a few pounds and tone my body by the end of May. I just began running and I'm starting off by running a mile and hope to work up to a four-mile run four or five days a week. My diet is generally a bowl of cereal in the morning, and a turkey or ham sandwich with some type of fruit and a bottle of water. Dinner is something different every day, but usually healthy. I also have been doing an ab workout for about seven minutes after I run. Is what I'm doing effective? What are your suggestions?


What can I do about vaginal odor?

1) For like several years I have been afflicted with a really smelly crotch. It's like I sweat a lot down there and it just has a really sweaty vaginal odor. I bathe regularly but nothing really helps; by the end of the day I always smell funky. This wouldn't gross me out if it was just an occasional problem, but it happens every day. What can I do?

2) I have an embarrassing odor problem in the crotch area due to sweating. The odor is the same as underarm body odor. FDS didn't seem to help any. Cornstarch and powders work for about an hour. I wear only cotton panties. It seems that gel deodorants (Mitchum/Soft & Dri) are the only products that will control the odor for more than one hour (not long enough). Is using antiperspirants/deodorants harmful to my body (I do not use it in the clitoral/vaginal region, only on the "mound" of hair)? Also, how can I eliminate this sweating? My friends don't seem to have this problem. I am 32 and the problem seems to worsen each year.


Is what I'm experiencing a urinary tract infection?

I think I may have some kind of urinary tract infection. It came on very suddenly, about three nights ago. And when I pee, there is a burning sensation when my bladder has almost emptied. It's not an STD because I'm in a monogamous relationship, and yes, I'm sure! Please help. Thank you.


Should I go back to my ex now that he wants me back?

Where do I begin? My ex-boyfriend recently professed his undying love for me. It had been a year since we broke up and he told me it was one of the biggest mistakes he made in his life. In the year that we were "broken up," I struggled to let go of the past, to let go of losing him (he picked up a new girl in that time). So, of course I jumped at the offer of "getting back together." It has been a couple of months that we have been trying to rekindle our lost love, and it seems to me that he has made little effort to keep the flame burning or to light the candle for that matter. I fight day and night with the idea of moving on with my life (because these were the very same problems that ended our relationship the first time), but after waiting and dreaming for a year that I could have his true love back, I am very afraid that throwing it away will only devastate me. HELP!!!!


Why does my face look permanently sunburnt?

What is wrong with my face? It permanently looks sunburnt across my nose, cheeks and on my chin. Sometimes it appears worse than others. It is hot to touch and often bleeds. Typical rosacea treatments do not improve the redness or pain. I'm overweight but otherwise healthy. Thanks!


Why does my boyfriend want to wait till marriage?

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a year and a half now. He makes me happy most of the time that we are together! We share almost everything in common. Except one thing, SEX! We have discussed the subject numerous times. He tells me that he loves me very deeply and I tell him that that makes me the happiest woman in the world. However, he says that we should wait until we are married. The problem is that I want to show him my feelings by giving up my virginity to him now, the one true love of my life, and he still says that we should wait.

My question is this: Is he cheating on me, or does he really love me enough to wait until the night of our wedding so that it will be more special?


How can I cook for my partner who has different nutritional needs?

I have a job that is largely sedentary — mostly sitting in an office in front of a computer. My partner's work is very physically active. Since we've been living together, food and nutrition have increasingly become a source of stress and conflict. He needs big meals with lots of protein and calories, and I need better portion control with lots of vegetables. We're having real problems with shopping and menu planning. Since we've been living together, I've been gaining weight and he's been losing! Can you give us any advice or direct us to information on how to live and eat together while addressing both of our nutritional needs?


Why am I still having trouble dealing with my parent's divorce?

I have been going through emotional problems lately. I have been crying a lot and thinking about my mom and dad's divorce and how I want them together. I don't understand why now, after all these years, it is bothering me. It has never bothered me till this past school year and nothing has happened in school either.

I keep thinking about how I will never know how it was to live with both my parents. On Christmas, I kept thinking about how I really only had one true Christmas with both of them together and I don't even remember it. People always say the younger the child is when parents get a divorce, the easier it is on a child, but for some reason, that's not true for me because I missed out on it all! All my friends have at least experienced their parents together, and I haven't and never will. They get along fine so it's not like they fight. I haven't told anyone about this and it is getting to the point I can't keep it to myself and can't stop crying. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know why it is bothering me twelve years after they got a divorce and how I can get it to go away. Please help.


Is it bad to crack my back if I have scoliosis?

I just was diagnosed with minor scoliosis. I am 38 years old (today!). I do yoga and while at a retreat, was told by the instructor that it looked like I had a little scoliosis on the right side. I crack my back, neck, and so on. I mainly do this on my right side (the side I have minor scoliosis). I feel very tight if I don't do it, and feel better afterwards, but I just know it's wrong. I don't know if my cracking my back is worse with this problem, or if I do it because of this problem. I have tried to stop, but even when I stop for a short period of time (month), my right shoulder "pops" (not snaps or cracks like when I do it intentionally while doing certain activities, like push ups or bench press (and it will happen over and over). This also occurs on my right hip when I do things, such as leg lifts. What do you think? Will this possibly go away if I stop or are they not related?


How can I rev up my relationship?

What would you suggest I do to spice up my relationship with my boyfriend? We are no longer affectionate to each other like we used to be when we just met. Please help me. I am desperate for your advice.


Do electronic muscle toners work?

I know most of us have seen the ads to buy various muscle toning equipment that uses electric pulses to "build more tissue" (hypertrophy), and I was wondering what you thought about this way of "toning muscle." Also, if you knew where else I could go to further my research on these sorts of devices?

Thank you very much for your help in advance.


Am I under eating and overexercising?

I am very concerned about my eating and exercise habits. I'm a first-year, and since I got here last fall, I've lost about 35 pounds. I've been exercising almost obsessively and eating a rigid, low-fat diet. I try to eat about 2000 calories a day, but still feel hungry a lot (especially in the morning) and still seem to be losing weight at the rate of about a pound a week. I'm 6'0" tall and weigh 133 lbs. right now; my family and friends are all worried and although I keep telling them I'm not sick, I wonder if I am. I've seen a nutritionist in Health Services; she gave me some advice about good nutrition and what I should be eating, and I've been trying to follow her guidelines, but it's gotten very hard for me to know what is a "normal" diet. Am I anorexic? If I am, what can I do to help myself? I know I could never go to counseling; I'm too independent. Can you give me any advice?


How can I stop being jealous?

I am in a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend and we love each other very much, but I can't get over being jealous of certain little things. It is starting to get so bad that it is causing arguments between us. I try to control it, but sometimes I just can't help it. When she tells me any little thing that involves her with another guy, my first reaction is to get mad. How can I get rid of my jealousy, or change it?


What can I do about my coworker who's very religious?

This is my first time writing, so thank you for being available! I have searched the web for any insight but haven't found much. Here it goes...

I have a friend at work who is very religious. He's not outspoken or boisterous about it, but it is generally known. I tend to keep away from talk of religion/politics at the work place — I am an Agnostic. My problem is that this friend sends text message bible quotes around holidays. They are foreboding and very fire-and-brimstone like. I am unsure how to handle these.

In the past I have ignored the messages, but at work I am asked if I received the messages where I usually reply that I had my phone off, or that I had not. To which he will resend on the spot. If I say I have received the message, then he will attempt to chat about it, to which I am resistant. I see this person almost every day, and he is genuinely a nice person, but I cringe around holidays. Doing anything drastic I feel will make things awkward, but more subtle tactics have had no effect. I don't even mind "Bless you's" or "have a blessed new year!" It's the fear and power and almighty thunder that really rattles my nerves. I feel stuck, what other options do I have?