How can I become more optimistic?

Recently, I've noticed that my one or two of my friends have taken to cutting themselves. I'm concerned for them... but I've done the same thing in the past and they know it. How do I confront them without sounding like a hypocrite?

I have Vitiligo on my penis and on other parts of my body, but it's really starting to mess with my head with girls when they first see my penis. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it just has loss of pigmentation. What should I do?

My oldest daughter died in a motor vehicle accident seven months ago. I have a husband and three other daughters. I am very depressed. Some days I think I won't make it. Some days I don't want to. I know that my life has been changed forever, but what can I do to help ease the pain — and to help me "move on" with my life?

How can I reduce stress as school begins?

I am 20 years old and recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend of six months. Before this happened, I strongly believed that I would wait until marriage because of both personal and religious reasons. My boyfriend completely understood my morals but then pushed the limits after only one month together and I didn't stop him. Not to mention we had sex before we told each other, "I love you." I regretted my decision the moment it happened. I know (now) that he loves me and I love him, but I still believe that what we are doing is wrong. I hate lying and that is exactly what I am doing by being dishonest with my family and peers. He acts so hurt when we do not have sex but I don't want to anymore. How can I tell him that I want to put an end to our sexual relationship?

All the people in my major seem to breeze through homework, tests, and absorb every lecture like they've heard it a million times. This leads me to believe that I might have chosen the wrong major, even though it is what I really want to do. I'm already a senior, so changing majors now is out of the question for me, since I've already made all the arrangements for graduation. I know I will graduate with a very low GPA... not even high enough to get into graduate school in my major. The coursework that I'm headed towards in my last two semesters seems like total rocket science to me and asking for help, even from close friends in my major, is very embarrassing. I normally wouldn't mind asking my friends for help, but they have very belittling things to say about other people who don't understand the concepts. Plus, everyone that tutors for my major is also in my classes, so asking for help there is also impossible. I feel that if I don't get help and start understanding things essential to my major, I will completely abandon the idea of going to graduate school, or even trying to get a job related to my major. I don't want four years of schooling to go to waste... what should I do?

Recently, during a phone conversation with my boyfriend, he told me that he turned the volume up on his phone. Soon after, he began to masturbate, while he was talking. I am well aware of phone sex, but the conversation never came up. I had no idea what to say to him. It was very loud and there was no mistaking those sounds. Should I confront him or let it go? Do many men find this satisfying? He complains about not being able to sleep. Could this have something to do with this?

I go to a college that offers free counseling to students. While I would like to take advantage of this, I feel that my pride is getting in the way of getting any help that I may need. I’m afraid of someone seeing me walk into the office, and someone seeing me in the waiting room of the office as well. (The door is left open). Any ideas on how I go about this? I'm also worried because a guy I know and work with, also works in there. He is the obnoxious, jock-type and going in there while he is working, is a concern of mine — also, if he sees that I have an appointment.

In the past I have self-mutilated and recently there has been a lot of added stress to my life. I've heard about wearing a rubber band on your wrist as an alternative. I was just curious are there any downsides to this method, as an example I have been doing this for a week now and I have gotten a bruise on my hand, it probably isn't from me snapping the rubber band but I was just wondering if there is anything I should know about this method? Thanks

I've always been something of a hypochondriac, although my friends and family know nothing about it. As a child, I would regularly convince myself that I had appendicitis. As a teenager, I worried about being pregnant despite never having had vaginal intercourse. As a college student, I worked in a hospice for late-stage AIDS patients. Although I never had contact with blood or semen, I convinced myself that I may have contracted HIV somehow by doing their laundry with some kind of minor cuts on my hands I never noticed, or because a patient drooled on my hands. I've been tested at least three times since then, but I still haven't gotten over it and am nervously preoccupied with the idea that I have infected the whole two people that I've ever slept with. At the moment, I'm also convinced I have cancer. I *know* I'm completely wrong about all of this... I know, I know. And get this: I'm in medical school now. It's only going to get worse. Help me!

Your advice to "Surround yourself with positive, healthy people" is good. But this is part of my insecurities. It seems that everyone will want to surround themselves with positive, healthy people; but if I'm not healthy mentally, why should people want to be around me? I fear I'm excluded because, even when I try to hide my insecurities, they still show and people don't want to be around a "downer." Any advice on this aspect?